Talk:2001 BDO World Darts Championship/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: MrLinkinPark333 (talk · contribs) 01:44, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
Hello! As this is the only darts article out of your outstanding nominations, I might as well review this one. Please keep in mind that I have not written any darts articles. Also, feel free to correct me if I make a mistake in regards to terminology or sourcing.
Lead
[edit]- "in Frimley Green in the English county of Surrey." - the "in the English county" seems redundant. I think "In Frimley Green, Surrey" would sound better (unless you're trying to indicate it was an English tournament).
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- "host broadcasters were the BBC" -> "broadcaster was the BBC" as the Background sections has only one broadcaster, not multiple.
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- "six sets to two (6–2)" - the bracket part seems redundant as the score is already explained in terms of sets.
Done
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- "to follow his success" - I think it should be "their success" as three dart players have done this feat, not one.
Done
- 2001 BDO source says Imperial was the sponsor, not Embassy even though Embassy is a brand under Imperial. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:24, 14 October 2019 (UTC)
- Added one source to reference this fact. MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Added one source to reference this fact. MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
Background
[edit]- "The British Darts Organisation (BDO) was formed in 1973 by the administrator Olly Croft and the BDO World Darts Championship was first held in 1978" - SportsPro says Croft is a managing director, not administrator. I don't think they're the same role.
Done
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- Also, the sentence doesn't seem to flow well to my ears as it sounds like two separate sentences joined together with "and". Perhaps this would need to be split into two sentences, but it could be just me.
Done
Done MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- "The 2001 tournament was held between 6 and 14 January 2001 in Frimley Green in the English county of Surrey and it was the first of 44 BDO-sanctioned events in 2001" - seems redundant mentioning 2001 three times when, in my opinion, once would suffice.
- Removed the final two mentions of "2001" MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Similar redunandcy issue with "in Frimley Green in the English county of Surrey"
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- How about "Frimley Green, Surrey"" to drop the extra "in"? In my opinion, I think "in Frimley Green in Surrey" sounds redundant. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:05, 14 October 2019 (UTC)
- Removed the "in" MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Removed the "in" MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
- How about "Frimley Green, Surrey"" to drop the extra "in"? In my opinion, I think "in Frimley Green in Surrey" sounds redundant. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:05, 14 October 2019 (UTC)
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- Removed the final two mentions of "2001" MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- WDF says the tournament was held in Frimley, not Frimley Green. As they are two different cities, a different/extra source would be needed to verify it was Frimley Green.
Done
- Added one extra source. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- Also, WDF doesn't have the county name, only city.
Done
- I count 45 events in the Embassy Darts source (exlcuding duplicates) not 44. Unless the World Professional Championship International Play-offs in November doesn't count?
- That is correct. MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
- Strange that it doesn't, but okay. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:16, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Strange that it doesn't, but okay. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:16, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- That is correct. MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
- British Darts Organisation is talking about the 2002 tournament, not 2001 based on the source talking about the 25th edition, not 24th. Therefore, a new source is needed to verify the 24th edition.
Done
- My fault entirely. The archive source was directed to the 2002 tournament and not the one in 2001. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- The source also says 32 players will play in the Skol event. Skol sponsored the 2001 PDC World Darts Championship, not BDO. So I don't understand why Skol is mentioned in this source if Embassy sponsored the BDO tournament. If this is referring to a different tournament, then a new source is needed for the 32 players.
Done
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- No worries. It's better to catch it now than not later. Glad you've fixed it. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:07, 13 October 2019 (UTC)
- Since the British Darts Organisation source is pointing to the wrong year, King seeded #1, Hankey seeded #7 and the play-off round are not verified with this source. While this does have 27 qualifying players in 2002, the new source needs to include this as well for 2001.
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- Based on the new BDO source (2001), it doesn't say Hankey was the reigning champion, only that he was seeded seventh. Either this part needs to be dropped or with an extra source. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:05, 14 October 2019 (UTC)
- Used the first The Independent source to back up the claim. MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Used the first The Independent source to back up the claim. MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
- Based on the new BDO source (2001), it doesn't say Hankey was the reigning champion, only that he was seeded seventh. Either this part needs to be dropped or with an extra source. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:05, 14 October 2019 (UTC)
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- Is there a reason why the playoff round matches/results is not mentioned in a subsequent section before Round 1? It seems incomplete without it.
- There appears to be no mention of the results of the play-off matches. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- Okay then. I won't make you add content if none exists.
--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:07, 13 October 2019 (UTC)
- Have added the players who won the matches but not the sets since they do not exist. MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
- Okay then. I won't make you add content if none exists.
- There appears to be no mention of the results of the play-off matches. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- " The number of sets needed to win a match increased with each successive round," - not 100% accurate. the first and second rounds each had five sets, while quarter and semi finals were each nine, therefore it didn't increase in "each" round.
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- Almost resolved. It was nine sets in the quarter/semi finals, not seven. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:13, 14 October 2019 (UTC)
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
- Almost resolved. It was nine sets in the quarter/semi finals, not seven. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:13, 14 October 2019 (UTC)
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- New source to verify BBC was the broadcaster, Embassy sponsored the event, and the prize fund was £189,000 for the 2001 event, not 2002 per the BDO source.
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- The 2001 source says it was sponsored by Imperial Tobacco Ltd, not Embassy. Yes, I know Embassy is a brand under Imperial, but the source says Imperial was the sponsor. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:23, 14 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Also, the prize fund is under a different header "Record breaking prize money for Embassy 2001" in the source. While the header won't effect the GA review, I thought I should mention it. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:23, 14 October 2019 (UTC)
- The 2001 source says it was sponsored by Imperial Tobacco Ltd, not Embassy. Yes, I know Embassy is a brand under Imperial, but the source says Imperial was the sponsor. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:23, 14 October 2019 (UTC)
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Hankey said he was confident that he would not become a player who won the event and be unable to repeat that success," - This sounds like an odd wording. Do you mean Hankey was sure he would be able to win the event again and not only once?
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- "he would not become a player to win the event again and not once," - this is a double negative. How about "he would win the event again"? --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:26, 14 October 2019 (UTC)
- Have changed the sentence to "Hankey said he was optimistic he could win the tournament for a second time" MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Have changed the sentence to "Hankey said he was optimistic he could win the tournament for a second time" MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
- "he would not become a player to win the event again and not once," - this is a double negative. How about "he would win the event again"? --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:26, 14 October 2019 (UTC)
- Also, "confident" is an exact word Hankey used in the source's quote, so I'd reword it as it's not quoted here to avoid close paraphrasing.
- Replaced with "optimistic". MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Replaced with "optimistic". MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 05:54, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- Based on the inclusion of the Mastercaller source:
- I don't think "the top 27 automatically" qualified, as only 1-8 were seeded and the rest don't have seeds.
- I think the BDO source that lists the 27 players needs to be put next to the Mastercaller list to show 27 + 5 players. Otherwise, the Mastercaller source alone doesn't show any qualifying matches nor winners. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:16, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- Added. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- I see you added an Embassy Darts source that specifically said who won the qualifiying matches. Even better.
Done --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:10, 22 October 2019 (UTC)
- I see you added an Embassy Darts source that specifically said who won the qualifiying matches. Even better.
- Added. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- How about "27 players automatically qualified" instead of the top 27? BDO doesn't give a ranking for players 9-27. The Embassy line-up source does say they outright qualified. I know I'm going back and forth with this sentence. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:22, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- Rewritten MWright96 (talk) 06:00, 21 October 2019 (UTC)
- Thank you.
Done --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:09, 22 October 2019 (UTC)
- Thank you.
- Rewritten MWright96 (talk) 06:00, 21 October 2019 (UTC)
First round
[edit]Paragraph 1
[edit]"In this round King was 2–0 behind Chris Mason when he won three sets in a row to take a 3–2 victory after Mason missed two consecutive game-winning opportunities on the double 18 ring in the third set." - long sentence that should be broken up into two. Also comma after round. Done
- "double 18 ring in the third set" - the two misses were at the fifth set, not third, as King won set three and four.
- Corrected MWright96 (talk) 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Corrected MWright96 (talk) 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- "After Davies lost two legs in the fourth set, he won the third leg to return to contention" - Scotland on Sunday doesn't say who won which legs in the fourth set for Davies's and Walton's match. Another source needed.
Done
- "number five seed Co Stompé beat Andy Smith 3–1 to prevent Smith from avenging his loss to Stompé from the 2000 tournament." - I suggest spliting this from the Porter/Richardson match as it's long combined.
- Done MWright96 (talk) 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- "avenged" is a specific word Embassy Darts used. I think this should be reworded unless it falls under WP:LIMITED.
- Done MWright96 (talk) 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- "to prevent a requite from Smith over the latter's loss to Stompé" - a bit of redundancy with "from Smith over the latter's loss". --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:01, 20 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- "to prevent a requite from Smith over the latter's loss to Stompé" - a bit of redundancy with "from Smith over the latter's loss". --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:01, 20 October 2019 (UTC)
- Done MWright96 (talk) 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Paragraph 2
[edit]- "(who achieved a checkout of 167) by the same scoreline." - I suggest removing the brackets to prevent side-comment.
Done
- Done MWright96 (talk) 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- Also not sure what you mean "by the same scoreline".
- Clarified. MWright96 (talk) 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Also, Mardle's and Coole's final score isn't there. Any reason why?
- Have now added MWright96 (talk) 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
"England international captain Martin Adams" - Embassy Darts doesn't say he has captained in international events, just that he's a captain for England. Maybe also specify what he was the captain of, as I had to look it up.
- Clarified MWright96 (talk) 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Clarified MWright96 (talk) 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Nevertheless, Adams won the following two sets to claim a 3–1 victory." - "Nevertheless" sounds like editorializing, so I recommend dropping it.
Done
- "Two-time finalist Ronnie Baxter took a win by the same scoreline" - The Independent source doesn't say Baxter had appeared in the final twice before the 2001 event, but the Embassy Darts source does. So I suggest bundling them.
Done
- Done MWright96 (talk)
- "where both players averaged more than 30 points per dart thrown." - close paraphrasing per word order. A slight tweak is needed.
- Hopefully the changes that have been made are satisfactory MWright96 (talk) 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Hopefully the changes that have been made are satisfactory MWright96 (talk) 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- Any particular reason why the final score for Crooks/Baxter isn't there?
Done
- Have now added 20:02, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Robson produced a 100 checkout to take the second set and a maximum score in the fifth leg of the third set gave Van Barneveld the lead and he took the match 3–1 in the fourth set." - two separate sentences please because of the "and" twice.
Done
- "Peter Hinkley took a 3–2 win over Nick Gedney as both players took each of the match's sets" - it was 3-1, not 3-2. Also not sure what you mean "both players took each of the match's sets" if four of out of five sets were played.
Done
Paragraph three
[edit]- "In a match which was interrupted by the first streaker in darts history and led to a twenty-minute stoppage while security removed her from the Lakeside Country Club and for players to refocus Hankey achieved six maximum scores and an average 31.34 per dart thrown to whitewash Lakeside debutant Greatbatch 3–0." - Very long sentence that needs to be broken up.
- Done MWright96 (talk)
- "while security removed her from the Lakeside Country Club and for players to refocus" - doesn't sound neutral.
- Have reworded the sentence MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- This also sounds way too detailed and sounds detached from the previous paragraph. Hinkley's and Gedney's final score appears in the second paragraph before any details of the match appears in parapgraph three. I think these need to be connected together while making sure there's no overemphasizing the streaking event.
- Done MWright96 (talk)
Done per last section. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 19:21, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Both Hankey and Greatmatch spoke of their annoyance" - Greatbatch not Greatmatch ;)
- Do'h. Have now corrected. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Do'h. Have now corrected. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- "to defeating Andy Jenkins" -> to defeat
- Done MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Done MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- "despite the latter suffering from back pain" - despite is a words to watch that'd need rephrasing
- Done MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Done MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- "preventing Taylor from advancing to the tournament's second round for the first time since the 1994 edition" - it wasn't the first time he failed to reach the second round according to BBC Sport (Painter polishes off Jenkins) and Taylor's wiki page.
- Corrected MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- "preventing Taylor from again advancing to the tournament's second round for the first time since the 1994 edition." - sounds contradictory with "the first time". I think "the first time" would need to be dropped since he hadn't advanced to the second round from 1995-2001.
- Also, I saw you added a Birmingham Post source. Not sure why this was added next to the other source. Any particular reason? Just curious. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 21:17, 17 October 2019 (UTC)
- Additional verification. MWright96 (talk) 06:41, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
- This part was removed per the final section.
Done --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 19:22, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
- This part was removed per the final section.
- Additional verification. MWright96 (talk) 06:41, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
- Also, I saw you added a Birmingham Post source. Not sure why this was added next to the other source. Any particular reason? Just curious. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 21:17, 17 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Sixth seed Kevin Painter...first time since the 1994 edition" - now reading this, it sounds too wordy in just one sentence, especially with the mention of back pain. I think this would need multiple sentences. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:30, 17 October 2019 (UTC)
- Fixed MWright96 (talk) 18:35, 17 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Fixed MWright96 (talk) 18:35, 17 October 2019 (UTC)
- "World number 22 Tony David" -> and world number 22 (not sure if World is supposed to be capitalized). --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:31, 20 October 2019 (UTC)
Second round
[edit]- "The second round was held on 9 to 10 January" -> from 9 to 10 January, or "between" 9 to 10 January.
- Have opted for the former. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Have opted for the former. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "after which Stompé did not attribute his loss to a poor performance caused by an inaccuracy in his throw from having his darts stolen from his pocket at an autograph session." - sounds odd grammatically especially after the whitewash part. I suggest breaking this part into a new sentence or two while making it clearer what happened.
- Should be a little clearer on that front. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- I don't see Stompé specifically mentioning that having his darts stolen didn't effect him. If you're trying to say the whitewash happened cause he threw with darts that weren't his, I think this is the Times suggesting it, not Stompé. Per the quote "but throwing with unfamiliar darts undoubtedly affected his accuracy."
- Have removed the sentence entirely. MWright96 (talk) 06:41, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
- Okay then. You didn't have to.
Done --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:45, 20 October 2019 (UTC)
- Okay then. You didn't have to.
- Have removed the sentence entirely. MWright96 (talk) 06:41, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
- I don't see Stompé specifically mentioning that having his darts stolen didn't effect him. If you're trying to say the whitewash happened cause he threw with darts that weren't his, I think this is the Times suggesting it, not Stompé. Per the quote "but throwing with unfamiliar darts undoubtedly affected his accuracy."
- Should be a little clearer on that front. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Walton made a good start in his match against King" - sounds like an editorializing opinion, so I suggest dropping "good start".
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "A checkout of 121 from King was required to prevent Walton from winning four legs in a row" - This sounds like King needed to achieve a checkout of 121, instead of that he actually did it. So this would be reworded to past tense.
- Fixed.MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- I still see this instance. What I'm referring to is "was required to prevent" -> prevented. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:39, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- I still see this instance. What I'm referring to is "was required to prevent" -> prevented. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:39, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
- Fixed.MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Walton responded to win the first two sets." - If Walton won three legs in a row (presumably), that'd mean he already have won the first set. So he didn't win the first two sets after King's 121 checkout.
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- I see you added an Embassy source that showed Walton's win and score in the second set. That works for me as this happened after King's 121 checkout.
Done --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:40, 25 October 2019 (UTC)
- I see you added an Embassy source that showed Walton's win and score in the second set. That works for me as this happened after King's 121 checkout.
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- " Walton took the first leg of the third set" - shouldn't the winner of the second set be mentioned too? I know it's cause of the previous edits. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:32, 22 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- "Walton won three legs in a row in the third set" - BBC isn't clear that Walton won three legs in a row in set three. He won the first and last leg for sure, and I can't confirm if he won a middle one.
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- It also doesn't specify he won three legs int the set, though he'd have to in order to advance. Unfortunately the source is vague.
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "which King replied with winning the second leg." - i still don't see BBC Sport (King Toppled) mentioned King won leg 2.
- I also don't see Walton's 3–0 whitewash of King in the BBC Sport. Unless I'm missing it. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:29, 22 October 2019 (UTC)
- It is mentioned in the second paragraph of the BBC Sport source. MWright96 (talk) 05:24, 23 October 2019 (UTC)
- Okay, but the specific score is not there for Walton, only Stompé. Therefore it's not 100% confirmed, though I know it's right. Extra source please. Same issue with King winning leg 2 of set 3. Again, I could have missed it. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:36, 25 October 2019 (UTC)
Done MWright96 (talk) 12:31, 25 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Okay, but the specific score is not there for Walton, only Stompé. Therefore it's not 100% confirmed, though I know it's right. Extra source please. Same issue with King winning leg 2 of set 3. Again, I could have missed it. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:36, 25 October 2019 (UTC)
- It is mentioned in the second paragraph of the BBC Sport source. MWright96 (talk) 05:24, 23 October 2019 (UTC)
- I also don't see Walton's 3–0 whitewash of King in the BBC Sport. Unless I'm missing it. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:29, 22 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Walton then overcame a minor challenge from King" - not sure if "overcame a minor challenge" is neutral. A bit of rewording needed please. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:26, 25 October 2019 (UTC)
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 06:55, 26 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Pusa achieved the highest average of per dart thrown score of the tournament at that stage of 33.77 in defeating Porter 3–1 while Baxter was the highest seeded player to enter the next stage of the tournament when he took a victory over Adams by the same scoreline." - long sentence that I suggest breaking into two.
Done
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "per dart thrown in defeating Porter 3–1." -> to defeat (i think) cause this sentence is past tense. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:45, 20 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- "highest average of per dart thrown score of the tournament at that stage" - I think this could be rewording for clarity especially with the "of the tournament at that stage". I understand what you're saying, but it sounds longwinded.
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- I see this part was removed. You didn't need to.
Done --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:29, 22 October 2019 (UTC)
- I see this part was removed. You didn't need to.
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "and Van Barneveld to responded to claim the second and third sets" - the first "to" isn't needed.
Done
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "without a major challenge from Beaton in the match's final set." - doesn't sound neutral. I suggest dropping this.
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Hankey started strongly in his match against Hinkley...match with Van Barneveld in the quarter-finals." - two sentences please.
Done
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- Also "started strongly" isn't netural and sounds like editorializing, so I'd recommend dropping this part.
Done
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 20:07, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "en route to whitewashing Hinkley 3–0 whitewash." -> whitewash Hinkley 3–0 --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:21, 22 October 2019 (UTC)
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 05:24, 23 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 05:24, 23 October 2019 (UTC)
- "and lost two legs en route to a 3–0 whitewash" - I'm not sure where specifically Embassy says Hinkley won two legs throughout the entire match. I see at least one win "Hinkley made a match of it in the third" but not two. Did I miss it? --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 21:12, 17 October 2019 (UTC)
- Have removed the ambiguous claim in question. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Have removed the ambiguous claim in question. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Quarterfinals
[edit]- "Walton won the first leg on the opening set in his match against Pusa" - Walton won the first set, not first leg, before the failed nine dart finish in the second set.
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- "and then missed the chance of achieve" -> to achieve / of achieving
Done
- Have used the word "attain" instead. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Nevertheless, Walton took four consecutive sets" - nevertheless sounds like a synonym of But per words to watch (editorializing) and needs to be removed.
Done
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- Also, it was three consecutive sets, not four per the first point above in this section.
Done
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "and required a 138 checkout" - I think Walton completed the 138 checkout, not needed, as he was one leg away from winning the match.
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Mardle began strongly against his opponent" - strongly isn't neutral
Done
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "with an 11-dart concluding leg of the fourth set." - I don't see any mention of the 11-dart concluding leg in the Embassy Darts source.
- Reworded slightly. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- I still don't see a mention of 11 darts in the source. Am I missing it? --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:03, 22 October 2019 (UTC)
- In that particular source, it states "An 11-darter from Barneveld was followed with the same from Hankey and Barneveld was in pole position in leg five." An 11-darters means a player won that particular leg by throwing eleven darts. MWright96 (talk) 05:36, 23 October 2019 (UTC)
- From that paragraph, this was in set seven, not four per the final sentence "allowed the Englishman in to go 4-3 up at his next visit." Therefore, the 11 dart finish doesn't below to that sentence. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:30, 25 October 2019 (UTC)
- Have removed it because am unable to write it sufficiently enough for a neat sentence. MWright96 (talk) 12:31, 25 October 2019 (UTC)
- Fair enough. Sometimes the problem isn't the source, but the wording. I know how that feels.
Done --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:22, 25 October 2019 (UTC)
- Fair enough. Sometimes the problem isn't the source, but the wording. I know how that feels.
- Have removed it because am unable to write it sufficiently enough for a neat sentence. MWright96 (talk) 12:31, 25 October 2019 (UTC)
- From that paragraph, this was in set seven, not four per the final sentence "allowed the Englishman in to go 4-3 up at his next visit." Therefore, the 11 dart finish doesn't below to that sentence. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:30, 25 October 2019 (UTC)
- In that particular source, it states "An 11-darter from Barneveld was followed with the same from Hankey and Barneveld was in pole position in leg five." An 11-darters means a player won that particular leg by throwing eleven darts. MWright96 (talk) 05:36, 23 October 2019 (UTC)
- I still don't see a mention of 11 darts in the source. Am I missing it? --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:03, 22 October 2019 (UTC)
- Reworded slightly. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "A fifth set whitewash returned Hankey to the lead until Van Barneveld again levelled the score to force a final set decider." - not exactly right. Van Barneveld did tie the set 3-3 but the game ended 5-4. So the 3-3 tie didn't force a final set, as there was at least 2 sets left. If you're referring to the 4-4 tie, then it'd need to be clarified.
- Clarified. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "until Van Barneveld again levelled the score to 4–4" - true, but he tied 3-3 before the 4-4 tie. And Hankey retained the lead twice, not once. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:03, 22 October 2019 (UTC)
- Have altered that sentence. MWright96 (talk) 05:36, 23 October 2019 (UTC)
- Sounds better now.
Done --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:31, 25 October 2019 (UTC)
- Sounds better now.
- Have altered that sentence. MWright96 (talk) 05:36, 23 October 2019 (UTC)
- "until Van Barneveld again levelled the score to 4–4" - true, but he tied 3-3 before the 4-4 tie. And Hankey retained the lead twice, not once. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:03, 22 October 2019 (UTC)
- Clarified. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Fordham started strongly against Painter" - same netural problem with strongly.
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "was the final player to enter the semi-finals" - incomplete sentence. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:24, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Added the missing word. MWright96 (talk) 19:57, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Semi-finals
[edit]- "Walton overcame a challenge from Mardle" - doesn't sound neutral with "overcame a challenge", and I don't think it's needed.
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 19:54, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 19:54, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "and become the first player to enter the final" - Scotland on Sunday isn't clear which semi-final match came first, so I can't agree Walton was the first finalist based on the other BBC Sport source. New source is needed for this specific part only.
Done
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 19:54, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- As Walton said "tensed" in his quotes, I'd reword "becoming tense" to avoid copying what he said. Minor point.
Done
- Removed it entirely. MWright96 (talk) 19:54, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "achieved finishes of 11 and 12 darts to take the first set" close paraphrasing of the Scotland on Sunday source.
- Made an alteration to the prose. MWright96 (talk) 19:54, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- I think this is good enough as the words are not unique enough to pass limited paraphrasing.
Done --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:16, 26 October 2019 (UTC)
- I think this is good enough as the words are not unique enough to pass limited paraphrasing.
- Made an alteration to the prose. MWright96 (talk) 19:54, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "The match was level at 1–1 as both players won one set apiece." - sounds redundant with level at 1-1 and both players winning one set each.
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 19:54, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 19:54, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "en route to taking three consecutive sets" - Hankey won two consecutive sets, not three as it was 3-1 before the break.
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 19:54, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 19:54, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "he sought to emulate Van Barneveld and Eric Bristow" - close paraphrasing, especially with "emulate"
- Removed emulate with mirror. MWright96 (talk) 19:54, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Removed emulate with mirror. MWright96 (talk) 19:54, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Hankey responded to wun the match" -> win the match (i know U and I are next to each other on the keyboard).
Done
- LOL. Have now corrected the spelling error. MWright96 (talk) 19:54, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Fordham said he was under pressure from Hankey" - Fordham specifically said "under pressure" so i suggest rewording.
- "foresaw his opponent winning the event" - I don't see this mentioned in the BBC Sport quotes by Fordham, only the pressure parts.
Done
- Rewritten. MWright96 (talk) 19:54, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "foresaw his opponent winning the event" - I don't see this mentioned in the BBC Sport quotes by Fordham, only the pressure parts.
Final
[edit]- "It was Walton's first BDO World Darts Championship triumph and his second major title following the Winmau World Masters in December 2000" - BBC Sport doesn't say it was Walton's first World darts championship wint nor was the Winmau World Masters win his second major title. New source needed. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 02:14, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- Reworded the first section to state Walton was the 15th BDO World Champion. MWright96 (talk) 19:42, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Reworded the first section to state Walton was the 15th BDO World Champion. MWright96 (talk) 19:42, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- I don't think champion needs a capital. Also, I think "15th BDO World Darts Champion" would need to be rephrased to say he was the 15th player to win, as this was the 24th edition. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:21, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
- Rewritten. MWright96 (talk) 06:41, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Rewritten. MWright96 (talk) 06:41, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
- " Walton achieved a maximum score on his first try of the match," - I don't see any mention of Walton's maximum in the BBC Sport final source, only Hankey's.
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 19:48, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- The additional source works.
Done
- The additional source works.
- Fixed. MWright96 (talk) 19:48, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "two further maximum scores, a 100 checkout and a 12-dart finish." - The Times doesn't mention a 12 dart finish for Walton in set four.
- Cited. MWright96 (talk) 19:48, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- While the 12 dart finish appears in Embassy, the two maximum scores and 100 checkout for Walton in set 4. An additional source is needed.
- Added. MWright96 (talk) 06:41, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Added. MWright96 (talk) 06:41, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
- While the 12 dart finish appears in Embassy, the two maximum scores and 100 checkout for Walton in set 4. An additional source is needed.
- "fifth set to enter the five minute mid-session interval" - the same source doesn't say how long the mid-session break lasted.
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 19:48, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 19:48, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- Cited. MWright96 (talk) 19:48, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "the sixth set was disjointed with both players sharing the opening four legs" - embassy darts doesn't mention this. Only "legs went with the darts for the first four legs", and doesn't say who won which leg.
Done
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 19:42, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- In what way was the sixth leg "disjointed"? It doesn't sound netural either. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:21, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Removed that particular word. MWright96 (talk) 06:41, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
- In what way was the sixth leg "disjointed"? It doesn't sound netural either. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:21, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 19:42, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- "He followed up with victory in the eighth set by throwing a total of 31 darts" - I presume you mean seventh set.
- Yes, have now changed. MWright96 (talk) 19:42, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- "and it coincided with Hankey's form deteriorating" - deteriorating isn't netural.
- Removed non-neutral word. MWright96 (talk) 19:42, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Removed non-neutral word. MWright96 (talk) 19:42, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- Yes, have now changed. MWright96 (talk) 19:42, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Women's tournament
[edit]- "and enabled women players to avoid having to compete with men in the International Play-Offs (which they had done since 1995)." - I think "enabled" and "avoid" might be non-neutral. A slight tweak could be needed. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 18:49, 14 October 2019 (UTC)
- Is permitted fine? MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
- Also " (which they had done since 1995)" sounds like a side-comment. I suggest removing the brackets.
Done
- BDO doesn't state that the total prize fund for the women's tournament was £8,000, only that the winner received £4,000. Extra source is needed.
- I see this part was reworded. Works for me.
Done
- I see this part was reworded. Works for me.
- "third (and last) seeded player." - redudnant with third and last, especially with the bracket part. I think either third or last would be enough.
Done
- Done the last three points. MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
Semi-finals
[edit]- "average score of per dart shown of 31.63" - not sure what you mean here. Do you mean average score of 31.63 per dart?
- Yes, have now corrected this. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Yes, have now corrected this. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Notwithstanding Howat being unable to win any legs" - sounds like editorializing based on "notwithstanding". This part would need to be reworded to be neutral.
- Have changed the sentence. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Have changed the sentence. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Solomons won the first leg and Hoensellar responded by winning the second before the former took the third and fourth legs to win the first set" - sounds like a long sentence. Could this be split into two sentences for grammar?
Done
- Minor spelling error with "by talking the second" -> taking the second. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 17:21, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 17:30, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 17:30, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- "Hoensellar produced a maximum score to force a final set decider." - I don't think this is 100% how it went. Hoesnellar hit a maximum score, then after she "held her throw" (not sure what it means) which resulted in set 3.
Done
- Have corrected this. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- "A 66 checkout gave Solomons the early advantage," - close paraphrasing in terms of word choice and order.
Done
- "which Hoensellar nullified by claiming the second and third legs." - the source isn't clear who won leg 2 and 3 per the quote "but legs went with the throw to 2-2.".
- "Hosensellar missed the double 16 ring and a 96 checkout from Solomons secured her a berth in the final." - this sounds like Hosenellar missed the 96 checkout, even thought Solomons made the checkout.
Done
- Hopefully the changes I've made to this sentence are clearer. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- It does sound fine, but per above which leg was it? --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 17:21, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- It was the final set. MWright96 (talk) 17:30, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- It was the final set. MWright96 (talk) 17:30, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- It does sound fine, but per above which leg was it? --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 17:21, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- Hopefully the changes I've made to this sentence are clearer. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Final
[edit]- "as he won the set" => as Solomons won the set
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- "double 14 and double 16" - i think it was triple 14, not double for Guillver in set 3.
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- "to move into a position of advantage and compiled scores of 94, 100 and a maximum as she lowered the points she required for victory to 127." - very long sentence that i suggest breaking into two (i shorten the quote to show the gist of it).
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- " Gulliver became aware that throwing six darts was needed" - sounds like editorialzing even though that's the tone The Times used. I think this should be reworded for neutrality.
--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:31, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- Rectified. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Rectified. MWright96 (talk) 08:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Prize fund
[edit]- Men's runner up prize amount was £23,000, not £24,000 according to Telegraph & Argus
Done
- The source also does not mention the prize amounts for semifinalist, quarterfinalist, last 16, last 32 nor 9 dart checkout. Additional source is needed.
Done
- The source also does not mention the prize amounts for semifinalist, quarterfinalist, last 16, last 32 nor 9 dart checkout. Additional source is needed.
- I see you added a source for the men's event prize amounts. Darts Database says the Last 16 prize was £3,900 not £4,000 flat. Also, quarterfinalists received £5,000 not £5,500 while semifinalists got £10,000 not £10,500. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 17:45, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 19:51, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 19:51, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- I don't see any prize amounts mentioned in the Embassy Darts source for the women's tournament, but the Darts Database source confirms them all. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:25, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- The addition of the BDO source is now making this overcitation. I think the BDO and Darts Database citations would suffice enough. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 21:01, 17 October 2019 (UTC)
- Have removed the Telegraph and Argus source instead. MWright96 (talk) 19:49, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Have removed the Telegraph and Argus source instead. MWright96 (talk) 19:49, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
Draw
[edit]- The BBC source for the men's draw doesn't have the players names (only initials). A different source is needed for this part.
Done
- The source also doesn't have the scores in the brackets, just the set wins.
Done
- Hopefully that's done. MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
- The source also doesn't have the scores in the brackets, just the set wins.
- There are a few errors with the average dart scores based on the Mastercaller source. In the first round, King, Mason, and Davies have incorrect averages. For the second round, only Pusa has a wrong average. However, the quarterfinals to final are all good. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 17:37, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- It appears to be that the Dart Database and Mastercaller sources contradict each other. MWright96 (talk) 20:12, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
- In terms of scoring based on the BBC source:
- Stompe and Smith's first round score was 3-1, not 3-2.
Done
- Coote is accidentally written as seeded #5 in round 1, but says Stompe is seeded #5 in round 2. I know Stompe is #5 based on earlier cited sources. Therefore, you might want to add an extra source for this part as this BBC source is not 100% accurate.
Done
- Added two sources to back this up. MWright96 (talk) 08:28, 15 October 2019 (UTC)
- Stompe and Smith's first round score was 3-1, not 3-2.
- I'm wondering why Crissy Howat's seed is not mentioned in the women's draw while Gulliver and Hoenselaar's seed are. It makes sense to leave Solomon blank as she was unseeded. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:46, 13 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Eric Clarys is mispelt = should be Erik. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 17:06, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 17:30, 16 October 2019 (UTC)
Side comments
[edit]I'll review the rest throughout the next couple of days or so. Feel free to comment here if you have any questions during this review. I'll let you know once I've fully reviewed the article. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:44, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
- @MWright96: Okay. I think I've reviewed all of it. I'll have to finish up a recap of what needs to be done, but I'll leave that for tomorrow. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 02:17, 18 October 2019 (UTC)
- @MWright96: As there are some points that either haven't been addressed, plus since I've added some comments, I'll put this review on hold. I will be continuing going through what has been already done. It's taking a bit longer to tick them off than I thought since it's a long article lol. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:47, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
Leftover points
[edit]- Lead: "in Frimley Green in Surrey" redundancy, BBC broadcaster singular not plural, Imperial/Embassy sponsor - all
Done
- Background: Frimley Green/Surrey redundancy, 44 or 45 BDO events, Hankey reigning champion source needed, minor correction with number of sets in quarter/semi finals, Imperial sponsored the event, Hankey grammar. - all
Done
- New issues with background: top 27 automatically entered and winners of qualifying matches per the Mastercaller source
- First round: redundancy issue in Smith and Stompé's match, grammar/spelling issue listing the final four matches.
- Second round: grammar issue with Hinkley's whitewash loss, various issues with Walton's and King's match
- Quarterfinals: For Hankey and Van Barnveld, source not backing up the 11-dart finish in the fourth leg. Also in their match, there were two ties, not one after the fifth leg whitewash.
- Prize fund: minor corrections for prize amounts in the men's events based on the Darts Database source.
- Draw: handful of errors with dart averages in the first and second round based on the Mastercaller source.
- Women's semi-finals: source isn't clear who won leg 2 - 4 in the final set for Solomons and Hoensellar.
Update
[edit]@MWright96: As this is the last of the 7 day hold, thought I should make an update for this. Most of this article is done. What's left to be done is:
- Second round "Walton then overcame a minor challenge from King" - neturality issue
Done
- Women's semi-final - it isn't clear that Hoensellar won the second and third leg in the final set with the Embassy Darts source.
Done
- Reworded per source. MWright96 (talk) 06:55, 26 October 2019 (UTC)
- "the BDO announced the creation...promoting darts competitions" - might benefit breaking into two sentences. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:07, 27 October 2019 (UTC)
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 19:10, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Done. MWright96 (talk) 19:10, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
Things I'll have to check:
- The streaker sentences to see if it's not too overally detailed.
- I think the sentences are fine except for "and for players to refocus" as this doesn't seem to be supported. Yes Hankey and Greatbatch were "unsettled" but it doesn't say they settled down during the 20 minute break. So I suggest dropping this part only. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:14, 27 October 2019 (UTC)
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 19:10, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 19:10, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
- I think the sentences are fine except for "and for players to refocus" as this doesn't seem to be supported. Yes Hankey and Greatbatch were "unsettled" but it doesn't say they settled down during the 20 minute break. So I suggest dropping this part only. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:14, 27 October 2019 (UTC)
- The wording of Taylor not being able to advance to the second round since 1994.
- Okay. I think this still needs rewording with "from again advancing past the tournament's second round for the first time". From 1994 - 2001, Taylor never made it to the second round. And "again advancing past the tournament's second round" isn't right cause 1995-2001 he only made it to the first round, not second. Still rewording needed. I know this sentence is being difficult to clarify. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:14, 27 October 2019 (UTC)
- Removed entirely because am not able to word it comfortably. MWright96 (talk) 19:10, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
- Okay then. Sometimes sentences don't flow properly when writing. I have the same issues at times as well.
Done --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 19:16, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
- Okay then. Sometimes sentences don't flow properly when writing. I have the same issues at times as well.
- Removed entirely because am not able to word it comfortably. MWright96 (talk) 19:10, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
- Okay. I think this still needs rewording with "from again advancing past the tournament's second round for the first time". From 1994 - 2001, Taylor never made it to the second round. And "again advancing past the tournament's second round" isn't right cause 1995-2001 he only made it to the first round, not second. Still rewording needed. I know this sentence is being difficult to clarify. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:14, 27 October 2019 (UTC)
- Word choice of "permitted" for the women's tournament as neutral.
- Replaced with allowed. MWright96 (talk) 06:55, 26 October 2019 (UTC)
Done
- Replaced with allowed. MWright96 (talk) 06:55, 26 October 2019 (UTC)
These three points I require to think over. I'll let you know if I think these need work on or not. Therefore, I'm willing to keep this open for a couple of more days, and reassessing after.
--MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:29, 25 October 2019 (UTC)
- @MWright96: As i said above I'd let you know if these need working or not, two of the three need a bit of working on and I added one more. You're almost there. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 22:16, 27 October 2019 (UTC)
- @MrLinkinPark333: Have done all three of the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 19:10, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
- @MWright96: Alright. There's a minor spacing issue with "theEngland captain" but that's not enough to prevent this article to be passed (as spacing isn't a requirement). Also, I don't see any issues in regards to stability and images. Therefore, I will pass this article. Very well done! --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 19:19, 28 October 2019 (UTC)
- @MrLinkinPark333: Have done all three of the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 19:10, 28 October 2019 (UTC)