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Talk:2002 West Bengal cyclone/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 02:46, 16 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Link JTWC in opening sentence
  • Orissa is called Odisha now
  • If you have EM-DAT totals, can you still say people are missing?
  • Do you have origins of the storm?
  • "a bulletin from the India Meteorological Department indicated that Tropical Cyclone 03B" - India doesn't call it that. That's a JTWC name. It's a tarp!
  • But the first sentence of Padgett's summary says, "Tropical Cyclone 03B was first noted in an IMD bulletin at 0600 UTC on 10 November"--12george1

(talk) 03:18, 16 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Initially a tropical depression" - obviously. That's the third sentence in a row saying that
  • "and was upgraded to Cyclonic Storm BOB 01" - maybe say it was the IMD? And perhaps include the initials for the IMD when you first mention it? (ditto JTWC)
  • You should specify that IMD uses 3-minute winds
  • "According to the maximum sustained wind–central pressure relationship, the storm also attained an estimated minimum barometric pressure of 984 mbar (29.1 inHg)." - huh? Why not just say who estimated that pressure
  • "At 0900 UTC on November 12, it made landfall near Sagar Island, West Bengal with winds of 100 km/h (65 mph)." - third time saying the wind speed.
  • I can't say "at the same intensity", because then there might be confusion with "55-75 km/h (35-45 mph)" in the previous sentence. So I will instead remove the wind speed at another place.--12george1 (talk) 03:18, 16 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The BT shows the storm dissipating at 1800 UTC over India, also pressure of 990
  • "According to the Orissa State Disaster Management Authority (OSDMA) Deputy General Manager Himanshu Patnaik, the communication system had been activated and collectors in coastal districts were given satellite telephones. Patnaik also noted that three units of OSDMA's Orissa Disaster Rapid Action Force mobilized in preparation for the storm." - cut the bit about Patnaik (WP just reports the facts, not using names in these instances). Also, what's with the 2nd sentence? Seems useless
  • "According to the Chief Minister of West Bengal Budhadev Bhattacharya, 111 people were still missing offshore West Bengal by late on November 12." - again, why saying according to this person? Is it vital to the article?
  • "Later, the death toll was raised to 124" - this could actually use clarification where it's from, like what website it is.
  • " Chittagong harbor master Mosin Sikdar said that city authorities met in an emergency session," - stop this! :P
  • "One death was reported by the Bangladesh Red Crescent after a man drowned while attempting to cross a river in southern Bhola Island." - this is what happens when you keep saying who reported what. It's long and cluttered!
  • "while an estimated 111-560 people were left missing" - you can't say that, since EM-DAT was published after GP's report
  • "Officials accused the meteorological offices of issuing warnings too late" - where?

The article is weirdly formatted. Try focusing more on what the storm did, and what actually happened, as opposed to who said what and junk. On hold for now. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:46, 16 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]