Talk:2014 Spanish Grand Prix

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:2014 Spanish Grand Prix/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Zwerg Nase (talk · contribs) 14:28, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Will gladly review this :) Zwerg Nase (talk) 14:28, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: Sorry that this took longer than anticipated, I am starting the review process now. Zwerg Nase (talk) 12:45, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Review[edit]

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

General things[edit]

  • There are two duplicate links: "pole position" in the qualifying classification and "championship points" in the race classification.

Lead & infobox[edit]

  • Official name of the race needs a source, either in the lead or in the infobox.

Background[edit]

  • I think "as part of the series" isn't very clear, I'd rephrase to "since the inception of the Formula One World Championship" or something along those lines.
  • You should probably add a footnote explaining the terms "prime" and "option"
  • "and his teammate Rosberg the season-opening Australian Grand Prix and three more podium finishes." - would add "as well as achieving three more podium finishes"
  • "Despite his recent performance Hamilton spoke of his belief that the momentum would shift between him and Rosberg on different tracks and sought to narrow the performance deficit" - would add a comma behind "performance" (first one) and in the second part of the sentence, clarify that you mean Hamilton sought, not the momentum
  • In both instances in this paragraph, I'd use ":" instead of a comma to introduce the direct quotations.
  • "to redirect airflow and increased its underfloor efficiency" - change to increase
  • "while McLaren's MP4-29s had its rear bodywork" - their rear bodywork

Practice[edit]

  • "Kevin Magnussen's McLaren" - change to "McLaren's Kevin Magnussen", otherwise, you are personifying the car
  • "clout" is too informal for an encyclopedia
  • "as trackside photographers took cover" - very trivial information
  • "The McLarens of Magnussen and Button Massa, Maldonado" - comma missing
  • "was beached" - also too informal, I think you can only use that word on Wikipedia when speaking about a whale
  • "The team were fined €30,000" - was fined
  • "Magnussen, Ricciardo, Button, Maldonado, Vettel" - and Vettel
  • "beached his Marussia" - see above

Qualifying[edit]

  • "Cars who progressed to the final session were not allowed to change tyres for the race's start, using the tyres with which they set their quickest lap times in the second session." - you should clarify that they were however allowed to change them for Q3 before switching back
  • "a set-up change put Bottas fourth" - and a set-up change allowed Bottas to go quicker and qualify in fourth place (or something similar)
  • "Grosjean extracted extra speed from his car to start fifth." - sounds a little journalistic... maybe "Grosjean performed well for Lotus, his fifth place being the team's best qualifying performance of the year"?
    • Added he qualified fifth, but not the best of the year since it is not covered by the sources MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Hence, Hülkenberg began from tenth by changing his car's setup." - well, no, he began from tenth because he qualified eleventh and moved up a place...
  • "faster of the two Saubers" - faster of the two Sauber drivers
  • "and began from 14th." - and he had to start from 14th place

Post-qualifying[edit]

Race[edit]

  • Infobox says weather was overcast, but race report says it was sunny. This should be consistent. You can put the more excessive weather info into the infobox as well.
  • "A three-stop strategy was determined to be the optimal strategy but a two-stop strategy was theorised to give a driver better track position." - clarify who theorised these things
  • "dirty air" - this term needs to be explained or described in other words
  • "had to take it at his first pit stop" - maybe better "serve it"?
  • "rear tyre degradation" --> "rear-tyre degradation"
  • "that time round" --> this time around
  • "Upfront, Hamilton requested assistance to rectify an oversteer on his car and Mercedes suggested he close the car's differential in turns three and four." - I would scrap this sentence and the next, this is completely trivial information, no one reading would care about this. Also, nobody understands what differential even means. Instead, try to summarize it a bit ("Hamilton was struggling with first over- then understeer on his car" or something like that)
  • "clear air" - again, this term needs an explanation
  • "Alonso overtook Magnussen going into the first corner with DRS for ninth on lap 36 and Vettel got ahead of Massa to move into eighth on the following lap." - So Vettel was ninth before he passed Massa? But Alonso was ninth, according to the same sentence! Confusing! Then the next sentence, Massa is suddenly in 11th, moving up to tenth, were he just was? How did that happen?
  • This uncovers a general problem with this article: You use a live race report as your primary source, and cover every single detail in the source. But the source does not portray everything that happened. I would generally say: Cut some minor stuff. There is no need to cover all passes in the minor placings. It's just confusing to the reader and makes the race report harder to follow. And it creates weird instances like the ones I pointed out.
  • "and asked for the gap and speed difference" - trivial, cut
  • "Alonso did the same in response for the medium compound tyres" - medium-compound tyres
  • "forbidden higher-powered engine" - forbidden by whom?

Post-race[edit]

  • " said his first victory in Spain "means everything to me" - use paraphrasing to avoid weird change in tense

I place this review on hold for now. Good work so far! Zwerg Nase (talk) 15:34, 19 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: Sorry again for the delay, my computer kind of broke down. Gotta go through it tomorrow, but I feel positive that the article can be promoted then. Zwerg Nase (talk) 17:15, 20 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@MWright96: OK, went over it again, and I am quite satisfied. Made some minor corrections myself as well. There is just one more thing bothering me: In the race report, you describe the "forbidden engine mode". But then in the post-race section, this aspect is not picked up again. So was this a talking point after the race? If not, why was it important enough to include it in the race report? Zwerg Nase (talk) 14:46, 21 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Zwerg Nase: Have added the consequences of its use in the post-race section. MWright96 (talk) 15:01, 21 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@MWright96: Wonderful! I am gladly passing this for GA now! Zwerg Nase (talk) 11:09, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
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