Talk:Action of 30 June 1798/GA1

GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 15:15, 30 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I'll start this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:15, 30 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

No DABs, or external links.
Image properly licensed.
Royal Navy Channel Fleet Royal Navy's
HMS Jason, HMS Pique and HMS Mermaid. Always tell the reader what kinds of ships they are on first appearance.
The Royal Navy had however achieved victories at the Glorious First of June and Battle of Groix, inflicting losses on the French Atlantic fleet compounded by losses in storms during the disastrous Croisière du Grand Hiver and Expédition d'Irlande operations. Awkward. Perhaps something along the lines of "British victories at the Glorious... had inflicted losses that were compounded ..."?
enforcing supremacy enforcing "its"
Seine had a rapid journey passive voice "made" instead of "had".
Mermaid was left far behind clarify that Mermaid was deliberately left behind to cut off access to Brest.
into the hull and after all efforts had been exhausted the frigate was evacuated and stripped of stores and the wreck set on fire comma after exhausted; too many "and"s, substitute a comma between evacuated and stripped and add one after stores.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 00:16, 13 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi thanks for the review, I've addressed all of these - some in a slightly different way than you suggested, but it should read a bit better now. Regards--Jackyd101 (talk) 23:08, 16 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]