Talk:American football/GA1

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Reviewer: Go Phightins! (talk · contribs) 21:12, 15 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this page. Go Phightins! 21:12, 15 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • Unlink yards, meters, and oval per WP:OVERLINK.
  • In order to continue their drive down the field, the offense must advance the ball at least ten yards down the field in a series of four downs; if they succeed they receive a new set of downs to continue their drive, but if they fail they turn the ball over to the opposing team. to In order to continue a drive, the offense must advance the ball at least ten yards down the field in a series of four downs. If they succeed, they receive a new set of four downs to continue their drive, but if they fail, they turn the ball over to the opposing team
  • Not a big fan of the long descriptive links. Perhaps you could say something to the affect of "via a touchdown (blah blah blah), a field goal (blah blah blah)" etc. and link the term, rather than the description.
    • Done, but in inverse - I give the term after the explanation. Since this is an introductory article, a quick explanation could be helpful to people who don't understand the sport. Toa Nidhiki05 21:54, 15 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Gameplay
  • This is rather minor, but why is gameplay before history? Usually, history is the first section in an article. Is there some obscure corner of the MOS with which I'm unfamiliar?
  • Unlink oval again.
  • Remove "at any one time"; that's unnecessary wordiness, in my opinion.
  • Remove "procedure" after "coin toss". Again, that's unnecessary wordiness.
  • Do we have a source to substantiate the different tackling rules between high school, college, and the NFL? It seems that oughta be sourced, even if it is just any additional location of an already used reference.
  • What is a "necessary line"? The first down marker? I've never heard the term "necessary line", especially since it's in quotes, perhaps a source for that terminology would be in order?
    • The necessary line is what the line needed for a first down (aka. the first down line) is called in the rulebooks. As they aren't cited, I've removed it. Toa Nidhiki05 21:54, 15 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Can we make that image float to one side or the other rather than take up all space in the middle of the section?
  • Remove "each type of penalty has its own hand signal", as that's fairly evident from the prior line of text.
  • A couple of additional sources throughout the section would be nice.
    • I'll work on that. Toa Nidhiki05 21:54, 15 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • Did you find any additional ones?
        • I'm working on it - right now I've shortened the section significantly since so much of the info is already in the Rules section. There isn't nearly as much there to cite, really.
History
  • "American football is considered to have evolved from the sport of rugby" by whom?
  • "The first football game, considered to have played on November 6, 1869 between..." again, who considers this date to be the first modern football game? Considered seems to be moderately peacocky for a GA. Just say that the first modern football game was played on...
  • Unlink "feet" again per WP:OVERLINK, units of measurement need not be linked
  • I'm confused, how did the game work if you couldn't run or pass? Elaborate in that section please.
    • It could be kicked; I've noted that now. Toa Nidhiki05 21:54, 15 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • Ahh. Thanks.
Teams and positions
  • If you're trying to link to Two-platoon system, you're going to have to link to One-platoon system#2.2 Arguments in support of two-platoon football, but since that really is not helpful, I would suggest unlinking "system" entirely.
  • I think it would be better to call it a tailback, as opposed to a halfback, as if I'm not mistaken halfback is not a running back in the CFL, which plays American football, I think. Not a big deal either way though.
    • The CFL plays Canadian football (very similar to American football in most respects), and a halfback is a defensive player there. I'll add tailback next to HB to be safe.
  • Sorry, got sidetracked with an article on uniforms in American football. Anyway, back on.
    • No problem. :P
  • "are on the same page", that's an expression that might not be familiar globally; perhaps we could substitute something?
    • Changed to 'doing their jobs', hopefully that works
      • Fine by me.
  • ballcarrier to ball carrier in defense
    • Fixed.
  • In the linebackers section, could we change "watching the tight ends and backs in the passing game, and covering wide speedy receivers" to "guarding tight ends and backs in the passing game and covering slot receivers"?
Equipment
  • This section is a bit sparse. Perhaps you could add a line on the improvement of helmets due to concussion issues or something of the like.
    • I added a bit on helmets and concussions, as well as a bit about helmets stopping skull injuries. Toa Nidhiki05 03:02, 16 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • Looks adequate.
Formation
  • Let me know what you think here, but I almost wonder if that section is even necessary; I think it's contents could be merged with gameplay.
Rules
  • This section looks excellent. Just a couple things:
    • Could we change "try" to "PAT"?
      • I can add a "more commonly known as", since try is the actual term. I'd prefer it be there in some capacity. Toa Nidhiki05 03:02, 16 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • The field section is almost too referenced...could we edit out a couple of the unnecessary ones. If they're all necessary, OK, but it just seems a tad "overkillish", if that's a word
      • I would have to go back to the rulebooks and rework all the citations there to make it have less. The citations are as specific as possible right now. It would take quite a while though.
        • That's all right.
          • I have reduced it to two groups of three citations now. Toa Nidhiki05 01:16, 20 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Perhaps this isn't available that you can find, but is there any explanation for why we have orange flags on the goal posts? Wind?
      • I can't source that but yes, that is what they are for. It gives the kicker a little bit of help there, although many kickers also pick up some grass and drop it to see what the wind is like. Toa Nidhiki05 03:02, 16 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • In the officials section, mention that the umpire was moved into the backfield in the NFL.
    • The field goal assignments need some work in that section. I'm pretty sure the umpire and side judge stand about 10 yards behind the line of scrimmage while the back judge and field judge stand under the goal posts. It's pretty ambiguous as is.
      • I'll just remove the mention right now - the Dummies book must have been written before the official location change. Strictly speaking, official location isn't too important to a casual reader. Toa Nidhiki05 03:02, 16 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
        • Probably true. And that's right; we now have 7 officials, the book could've been written when there were still five, although a side judge didn't exist then, so who knows.
          • Yeah.
Leagues and tournaments
  • Perhaps you could give mention to some other leagues that exist in the US (e.g., Arena football, United Football League, etc.) rather than just the NFL and NCAA.
    • I do mention the arena league, in the second paragraph there. I didn't mention the UFL because it is basically insolvent, but I could give a short list of it along with other defunct leagues (like the AFL, AAFC, and USFL). Toa Nidhiki05 03:02, 16 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Variations and related sports
  • Looks fine.
References
  • Is there a copy of the NFL or NCAA rule books online that we could link? That might be helpful to read further on some of what is in the article. Go Phightins! 02:34, 16 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • I'll get to the others in a bit, but they are linked in the "References" subheader, along with the NFHS (high school) rulebook. Toa Nidhiki05 03:02, 16 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • All right. Looks good. Just a few loose ends, and then we have ourselves a good article! Go Phightins! 02:43, 19 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]


I've passed and listed the article. Good work. I'm supposed to encourage you to review another article in the GAN reviewing instructions, so you are hereby encouraged. (If you'd like, you can review one of my outstanding ones -- 2012 Liberty Bowl 2013 Cotton Bowl Classic but of course you're under no obligation whatsoever to do so) Thanks for all of your work on this article, and congratulations on achieving your 37th, by my count, good article. Go Phightins! 17:21, 20 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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