Talk:American logistics in the Northern France campaign/GA1
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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 03:18, 13 August 2020 (UTC)
I'll take this review on. It may take me a few days to work through it, though. Hog Farm Bacon 03:18, 13 August 2020 (UTC)
- Background
- There's several instances of "would be". In various GA/ACR article's I've sent through the reviewing process, multiple editors have strongly objected to most instances of the would be phrasing as excessively passive voice
Except that "would be" is not the passive voice; it's the past future tense. Removed a couple of instances though. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- "The Overlord plan called for the capture of Cherbourg by D plus 8" - Probably best to have a brief gloss stating what D plus 8 means. I understand this, but readers without a good military history background may not.
Added a parenthetical explanation. In some other articles I have eschewed the use of this idiom, but the problem here is that D-Day moved. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- Breakout and pursuit
- " as a deception formation" - Is there a link for this? I understand what this indicates, but it's not a particularly common phrase.
Added a bit, with a link to Operation Fortitude. It doesn't explain "deception" either though... Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- " There were significant differences in the way Patton, a cavalryman, and Bradley and the VIII Corps commander, Major General Troy H. Middleton, who were both infantrymen" - I'd recommend linking to cavalry and infantry at the respective points, which would help underscore the difference for the uninformed.
Added links. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- "and SHAEF had" - This is the first appearance of SHAEF. What does the acronym stand for?
An artifact of splitting the original article in tow. I was afraid of this. Added an explanation. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- POL
- "The MT80 supply was adequate for the first month of Operation Cobra" - First mention of MT80, link or gloss what it is
Another artefact. Added an explanation. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- "with the First Army burning 501,000 US gallons (1,900,000 l) per day (282,000 US gallons (1,070,000 l) on 24 August alone)" - This is an odd clause. You state that it was using 501,000 gallons of fuel per day, indicating an average, but then call out a number barely half of that as if it is a significant usage. I think there's a minor phrasing error here somewhere.
Typo. Should have 782,000 gallons (2,125 tons). Aside: the Germans measured their fuel in cubic metres. Fortunately, the mental conversion to kilolitres is pretty easy. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- Link C-ration
Linked. Another artefact. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
And that's through the end of the POL section. More to come, but I've only found minor prose comments so far. Looking like a great article. Hog Farm Bacon 04:46, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- Due to the split, it has already passed GA and A class once; problems arise from the split itself. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:06, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- Railways
- LCT needs a link or gloss, ideally spell it out, since it's the first (only?) appearance in the article.
- Same with LST
- Motor transport
- Move the Red Ball link from here up to where it's first used post-lead in the POL section
Used first here now. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:16, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
Through the motor transport section. More to come later. Hog Farm Bacon 20:39, 14 August 2020 (UTC)
- Ports
- Link mole to the relevant article, since this usage is arguably less well-known than the burrowing mammal
Done. Never seen one of the animals; there are not native. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:04, 15 August 2020 (UTC)
- We've got them out the wazoo where I live; I know some people who have trained their dogs to hunt them. Quality article, passing now. Hog Farm Bacon 01:34, 15 August 2020 (UTC)
- Link Liberty ships
- Duplinks
- First United States Army
Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:04, 15 August 2020 (UTC)
- Courtney Hodges
Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:04, 15 August 2020 (UTC)
- Captions
- "[A jerrican depot" - Remove the extraneous bracket
Removed. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:04, 15 August 2020 (UTC)
- Final note
- The air supply section should be briefly referenced in the lead
- Added a bit. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:04, 15 August 2020 (UTC)
That's it I believe. Heck of an article. Hog Farm Bacon 23:34, 14 August 2020 (UTC)