Talk:Andy Hedlund/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman 01:09, 15 November 2009 (UTC) Overall the article's good, though I did find grammatical and comma errors. I went and fixed those. However, I have the following issues:[reply]

"He went unsigned following the 2004–05 season, Hedlund signed with the Krefeld Penguins of Deutsche Eishockey Liga (DEL) in Germany." A little confusing as worded. note unsigned in the NHL, as i presume that's what you meant, and double check grammar use.
- Re-worded.--Giants 27(Contribs|WP:CFL) 02:06, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"Ottawa traded Hedlund to the Washington Capitals in mid–season where he joined the Hershey Bears." I know what you're saying, but it sounds odd. note that the bears are the capitals development team, i presume.
- Re-worded.--Giants 27(Contribs|WP:CFL) 02:17, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"To begin the 2005 season, Hedlund joined the U. S. Men's National Select Team." Since it's a redlink, could there be a short description of what it is?
- Will try to find out.--Giants27(Contribs|WP:CFL) 02:06, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - It's one of the Team USA teams so link added.--Giants 27(Contribs|WP:CFL) 02:17, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
His USHL career should at least have a little bit of info in the body of the article.
- Not sure why I didn't do that, I'll look for some info.--Giants 27(Contribs|WP:CFL) 02:06, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Is it normal for hockey players to jump on and off Team USA that frequently? Seemed a little odd the way i read it.
- Since this is one of the first times I've really followed hockey and this is the first hockey article I've worked on, I've got no idea. But I'll ask over at WT:NHL.--Giants27(Contribs|WP:CFL) 02:06, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - Nevermind, I realized my mistake. I took the wrong date which made it seem like there was a tournament in March when the tournament he competed in only occurs in November. I've now fixed this.--Giants 27(Contribs|WP:CFL) 02:17, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
After this is done, do a copyedit on a word processor for proper punctuation and wording. It's disappointing compared to your usual work :/ (I only fixed the lead)
- Will do.--Giants27(Contribs|WP:CFL) 02:06, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - Microsoft Word's coming up with nothing, although I have the feeling there is. I'll ask someone to do a quick copyedit.--Giants27(Contribs|WP:CFL) 02:25, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    - Done by DoubleBlue (talk · contribs).--Giants 27(Contribs|WP:CFL) 03:38, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'll put it on hold and will re-look at it when this is taken care of. Feels light but i'll trust that you've definitely looked through a lot of sources. Wizardman 01:09, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Another note:

"Beginning his junior season, Hedlund was elevated to first line" clarify first line. Is that jargon for starter?
"He played in two games as a rookie and did not record a stat during the regular season, but in six playoff games he spent six minutes in the penalty box." Might as well cite the stats, in case that's questioned in the future.

The article's better though certainly not perfect (I'd likely oppose an FAC). It does pass the requirements for GA status so, so on that note I will pass the article. Just make sure to clarify that first note. Wizardman 16:18, 15 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]