Talk:Asian American Political Alliance

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Untitled[edit]

Hey! Overall the article looks good! I think all the content is really good. I think you should watch out for the tone that you write in, as sometimes it seems a little informal. There were two places where I think there was some vagueness. First, when you say "Some of the AAPA’s everyday activities included holding meetings to discuss Asian American issues", this is unclear as to what discussing AA issues means. Also I think you should find another word instead of "everyday activities". Next, I think the sentence "The AAPA inspired Asian Americans across the USA to organize and fight for social change" sounds too opinionated for wikipidia. I think I understand what you are trying to say here, but it sounds like it is your personal opinion. Richydickies (talk) 07:00, 2 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Also - as I was reading I notice that you use a lot of transition words (also, furthermore, additionally) a lot, and I think you should try to cut down on these a little. Richydickies (talk) 07:21, 2 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

great article! a few things: in your lead summary you state that the AAPA was founded at various colleges throughout the US but it seems like you focus on just the AAPAs at UC Berkeley & SFSU. you briefly mention the chapters at Columbia Yale etc at the end of your article, but theres no other information on those chapters. i would suggest either specifying the schools that you'll really talk about in your lead summary, or find further info on other AAPA chapters. your lead summary could also include some information about what issues AAPA ideology advocated for/organized around, which is a pretty major topic in your article. also just to echo what richydickies said, i would be careful about tone and diction, which in some instances makes this article informal and/or vague e.g. in the first paragraph under Activities, the phrase "put Asian American identity on the map" sounds informal. besides those few things, i think you've got a great article here! it's got good structure and content, i think just polishing the wording to make it more wikipedia-esque would be beneficial. Kevinhouyang (talk) 18:06, 2 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment[edit]

This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): hlo323. Peer reviewers: Richydickies, Kevinhouyang.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 15:03, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]