Talk:Bansard International

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Nov–1 2017 Edit request[edit]

Edit Requests:

The passage under Activities may be too advertisement-like. "These solutions are available to most of the large industries belonging to the B2B and B2C segments. Bansard International offers services for industries ranging from textile, cosmetic, advanced technology, car manufacturing, wine and liquor, and other mass consumption goods, as well as e-commerce.[13]" Can be replaced by: "The company's services only apply to large industries belonging to the B2B and B2C segments. The industries being: textile, cosmetic, advanced technology, car manufacturing, wine and liquor, e-commerce, and other mass consumption goods.[13]"

Evebalensi (talk) 05:51, 2 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

May I suggest:"Bansard's clients include those in the business-to-business (B2B) and business-to-consumer (B2C) sectors, with shipping services handling textiles, cosmetics, automotive parts, alcoholic beverages and other goods." — Spintendo  ᔦᔭ  09:01, 2 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, that works! Thank you for the suggestion! Evebalensi (talk) 04:41, 6 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

 Implemented The reference for the changed passage was previously a French language source. I was able to locate a source in English, Voice of the Independent. Although this journal does not meet the definition of peer-reviewed, according to its publisher it is "written and edited by industry professionals" and "does not carry advertorials, press releases or marketing articles." The claim statement is also properly paraphrased. I think in addition to the French source already provided this would make the claim statement acceptable.  Spintendo  ᔦᔭ  09:59, 6 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Nov–2 2017 Edit request[edit]

Removing the reference to the company's website [3]. Too advertisement-like.

Evebalensi (talk) 06:12, 2 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

 Done If you're referring to the website as it is listed in the infobox, its use there is perfectly acceptable. Spintendo  ᔦᔭ  09:01, 2 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Nov–8 2017 Edit request[edit]

Unless further modifications must be made, is it possible to remove "this article contains content that is written like an advertisement"? If the article remains written "like an advertisement" I would be pleased to know what other changes could be made. As for the "major contributor to this article appears to have a close connection with its subject", I have learned that writing on my user page my intent and if I am directly payed to write this article, so that it could be removed? If I am incorrect, please let me know what other steps I could take in order to resolve these issues. Evebalensi (talk) 09:08, 8 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

 Implemented After discussing the issue with Anachronist, it was expressed that the article was in a much better condition now than previously, so the templates have been removed. As a Conflict of interest still exists, please continue to use the edit request process to make any future changes. Thank you for your help.  Spintendo  ᔦᔭ  08:41, 15 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Extended content

Proposed changes[edit]

As far as removal of the template, the best thing to do would be to contact the user who activated that template, in this case Anachronist, and ask them if they could briefly mention some examples. In my opinion, looking at the page I can see a few things which are a bit too similar to advertisements. For example, the article mentions the word "solutions" often. This term is very business-like in its tone, harking back to the concept from business psychology that businesses should approach clients as individuals with problems to solve. The main task for a company, the idea goes, is to offer solutions for solving a clients problems. While this is a 100% accurate way to describe the business-client relationship, Wikipedia articles ought to avoid that language.

A good idea is to look at an example Wikipedia article, DHL Express and DHL. Looking there you can see the Lead contains

  1. Who
  2. When founded
  3. Major milestones
  4. Revenue

Then in the main part, it mentions

  1. History
  2. Origins
  3. Domestic expansion, etc.

Both DHL Express and DHL are brief in what is mentioned. Most importantly they both use timelines with bullet points. These bulleted timelines only mention acquisitions and expansions. Both articles stay away from the explicit mentioning of particular services that they offer, as well as avoiding language which describes what the companies "deliver" by way of "solutions for their clients". Now you may ask "But isn't mentioning our solutions just another way of describing what we do as a company?" and yes it is, but those particular solutions for clients are things that you'd want a client to go to the company's website to learn more about. You don't need clients to go to Wikipedia to learn those things. Wikipedia is the place to learn the majors like who, what, when, and where. The how and the how well is definitely to be avoided — and by that I mean how your solution works or how well it works. The how and how well as topics are the bread and butter of all advertisements and should always be avoided. Looking at the DHL example they also mention their competitors in a brief, matter of fact way. Revenue is also mentioned quite a bit, but when it is, it uses figures from 3rd party sources. Any revenue figures from Bansard itself which cannot be confirmed elsewhere should never be posted. Finally, unique items are mentioned. DHL Express speaks about sponsorhips of race cars and when they do they only mention who and for how long. While this can appear advertisement-like in tone, it is still acceptable because the subject of sponsoring race cars places the context into automotive racing and does not mention shipping. This makes the mentioning of it perfectly acceptable because it makes the subject about something other than the company. Both DHL and DHL Express also briefly mention notable points regarding their environmental records. A reminder: Anything petitioned for here to add to the article should originate from 3rd party sources. Remember too, that anything from the French government, like studies or reports from committees (preferably in English but French is, bien sur, acceptable) would be great sources to nominate for addition to the article. Hope this helps.  Spintendo  ᔦᔭ  14:48, 9 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Nov 2017 Substantive cleanup (list of changes)[edit]

  1. The infobox was re-positioned towards the top of the page, per: WP:MOS
  2. The picture was resized to 300px.
  3. Office locations were table-emplaced, although I'm not entirely sure that this listing was necessary. For example, the article page for another French company, LVMH, does not contain a listing of offices. The number of cities on each continent meant that there is open space in the North Africa/M.E. columns, as well as the N.A. columns which contrasts poorly with the Asia/Europe columns, which are lengthy. If the table remains, it needs to be reconfigured to eliminate the empty white column spaces. (Table has been updated.)
  4. Reference notes as they are used here must follow punctuation in all instances. Where this was not the case, corrections were made.
  5. It is my understanding that Bansard is a privately held company, yet the infobox stated "joint-stock" company. Unless I'm mistaken I've changed it to the former.
  6. Instances of the word solutions have been re-worded, per: my previous talk page entry explanation on the use of that term.
  7. Headings altered slightly (i.e., "Beginnings" changed to → "Origins"
  8. The article's translation-created erratum has been corrected. The Cleanup template has been deleted, although there are a few dates still missing in the 'Milestones' section.

Please feel free to offer feedback on these changes. Thank you  Spintendo  ᔦᔭ  02:26, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Nov–14 2017 Edit request (a)[edit]

Just wanted to provide further information for the milestones passage you included. You added [vague] to "In 2007 the freight forwarding company Allport UK enters Bansard International’s capital". I wanted to add that Bansard opened 39% of its capital to ALLPORT UK, if that clears up the situation. Evebalensi (talk) 08:49, 14 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

 Implemented

Nov–14 2017 Edit request (b)[edit]

Additionally in the milestone I would add that 2014 was the opening of offices in Bangladesh and Thailand. And 2015, when Vietnam and Israel offices opened. Finally I would add 2016 as the official year to the joint-venture with Anker International. Evebalensi (talk) 08:49, 14 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

 Implemented

Nov–14 2017 Edit request (c)[edit]

For the table added of countries Bansard offices are in I would also add that in Bangladesh, there is also another office in Chittagong. As for the office in Orly, France, I would actually modify it to Orly-Rungis since the headquarters just recently moved. Evebalensi (talk) 08:49, 14 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

 Implemented  Spintendo  ᔦᔭ  09:46, 14 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

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