Talk:Battle of Berea/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Djmaschek (talk · contribs) 04:02, 8 November 2022 (UTC)

Initial review

I've skimmed the article and it looks pretty good. I will dig into it later. But first, I noticed that the times of day are inconsistent. In Battle, paragraphs 1-2, you use "8 a.m.", "3 a.m." and "6 a.m.". Later, in Battle, paragraphs 2-3 you use "13:00 p.m." and "17:00 p.m." which is very confusing. Please use either am/pm time or military time: "17:00" or "17:00 hours". Thanks. Djmaschek (talk) 04:02, 8 November 2022 (UTC)

 Done

Review 1

Here are my review comments. Please fix or argue your case if you disagree. Djmaschek (talk) 01:21, 9 November 2022 (UTC)

• Foundation of the Basuto State, paragraph 1: "Transforming the denigratory exonym of Sotho into the name of the nascent Basuto nation." (This is not a sentence.)

@Djmaschek: Would you be so kind as to clarify what you mean when you say "This is not a sentence"? Am I to merge it with another one?--Catlemur (talk) 08:35, 9 November 2022 (UTC)

• Basuto-British Relations, paragraph 3: "Insisting that the latter restore the cattle and horses they had stolen from the Rolong and the Boer settlers since September 1850 within a span of two weeks." (This is not a sentence.)
• Prelude, paragraph 1, sentence 1: "In late November" (Please add year. It's the start of a section. I had to scroll around looking for the year.)

 Done

• Prelude, paragraph 1: "Elements of the Cape Mounted Rifles..." (This is not a sentence.)
• Prelude, paragraph 3: "rounding up any cattle he came across" (he > his column, his troops, Napier's soldiers, etc.)

 Done

• Prelude, paragraph 3: "three Companies" (companies - no need to capitalize)

 Done

• Aftermath, paragraph 1, sentence 1: "The British had rounded over 5,000 heads of cattle" ("rounded up") ("5,000 cattle" or "5,000 head of cattle" - typically the singular is used)

 Done

• Aftermath, paragraph 2: "3,500 heads of cattle" ("3,500 head of cattle" or "3,500 cattle")

 Done

Review 2

@Catlemur: Here is an explanation of the three times that I wrote, "This is not a sentence." I hope this helps. Djmaschek (talk) 04:43, 10 November 2022 (UTC)

• "Transforming the denigratory exonym of Sotho into the name of the nascent Basuto nation." (This is a clause, not a sentence. There is no noun-verb. Replace "Transforming" with "Moshoeshoe's act transformed" or "This event transformed" to make it into a sentence.)

 Done

• "Insisting that the latter restore the cattle and horses they had stolen from the Rolong and the Boer settlers since September 1850 within a span of two weeks." (Replace "Insisting" with "Hogge insisted" to make it into a sentence. Also, a suggestion, not a requirement: I would write "Basuto" instead of "the latter" because it makes the sentence clearer.)

 Done

• "Elements of the Cape Mounted Rifles (CMR) and the 12th Royal Lancers as well as two six-pounder field guns, two twelve-pounder howitzers and Congreve rockets belonging to the Royal Artillery and Sappers and Miners." (Add "Also included were" in front of "elements" to make this into a sentence.)

 Done

@Djmaschek: All done, thank you very much for the prompt review.--Catlemur (talk) 08:08, 10 November 2022 (UTC)

@Catlemur: GA class. Looking good.