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Talk:Battle of Thorgo

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


This review is transcluded from Talk:Battle of Thorgo/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Rahim231 (talk · contribs) 21:25, 28 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Voorts (talk · contribs) 22:33, 6 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


I am quick-failing this nomination. It needs a significant copy-edit for sentence structure and concision. I recommend trying to split up sentences whenever possible, and then recombining them judiciously. Then, you should request a copy edit at WP:GOCER. voorts (talk/contributions) 23:19, 6 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  1. Is it well written?
    A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
    The first paragraph is one run-on sentence, and there are a lot of other run-on sentences, such as the last sentence of the lead, the second paragraph of the "Prelude" subsection, and this sentence: Due to the only broken W/T communication set which the relief forces had, with no possibilities of repair, Col. Thapa was unable to inform the relief forces of the incoming Gilgit scouts and even after informing the Srinagar Headquarters and requesting airstrikes against the scouts but strikes were not conducted. There are miscapitalized words throughout, for example: On 15 February From the lookouts of the Skardu garrison ....
    B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
    Minor issue, but the first section heading is titled "Prelude", and its first subsection is also called "Prelude".
  2. Is it verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check?
    A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
    B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):
    Based on the sources cited in our article on Muhammad Yusuf Saraf, Saraf (2015) has borderline reliability. Spot check not completed.
    C. It contains no original research:
    Spot check not completed.
    D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
    Spot check not completed. Earwig's tool looks okay.
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
    The article does not provide adequate background for a reader unfamiliar with the Indo-Pakistani war of 1947–1948. For example, it never explains who the "Gilgit scouts" were. The article also never states which of the various military elements the various named commanding officers fought for (e.g., which company or battalion or even army).
    B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
    It's hard to parse out what is significant and what is minor because of the sentence structure.
  4. Is it neutral?
    It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
    The article seems biased towards the Pakistani side of the conflict, but it's hard to tell because of the sentence structure.
  5. Is it stable?
    It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
  6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
    B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
    The captions suffer from the same sentence structure issues as the body.
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

[edit]

Hello @voorts,

I saw the review made by you regarding this article, I have made edits keeping in view each problem i hope those are solved please have a look. another issue raised was regarding the reliability of the Book source by Saraf stating having borderline reliability.

Even though most of the books on Indo Pakistani wars are mostly written in a biased manner or in patriotic tone in which this book is no exception, but the reliability of this book is ensured since it cites the official Pakistani history Book on this War the "Kashmir Campaign 1947" (Published 1971) Which is a restricted book only available to high level officials. The book is written by Justice Muhammad Yusuf Saraf (born 1923) who was the Chief Justice of the Azad Kashmir High Court, he was personally given permission by the president of that time Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq for citing the official history book in this source. This pretty much makes it a reliable source, it also cites in references on certain events from different books.

The author declares this information in his book Page number 4 https://archive.org/details/part-ii-kashmiris-fight-for-freedom-vol-2-1947-1978-by-yusuf-saraf Rahim231 (talk) 14:53, 10 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]