Talk:Bermuda at the 1994 Winter Olympics/GA1
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Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 22:49, 30 August 2018 (UTC)
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Hi Courcelles! I am going to review this article as well. I will complete a quick c/e of the article first. Feel free to revert any of the changes, as I will only make what I feel are non-controversial improvements. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:49, 30 August 2018 (UTC)
- Copyedit
Here is my copyedit. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:01, 30 August 2018 (UTC)
- Prose & MOS
- "The only Bermudian athlete was again luge racer Simon Payne" - why "again"? In the midst of the lead, this doesn't make sense.
- "Bermuda first participated in Olympic competition at the 1936 Berlin Summer Games, made their Winter Olympic Games debut in 1992 at the Albertville Games, and have appeared in every Olympics since their respective debuts bar one, the boycotted 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow." - I would recommend splitting into two sentences: "...1936 Berlin Summer Games. They made their Winter Olympic Games..."
- I would only link the athlete's name in the lead and the table, if at all.
- "Simon Payne was the only athlete Bermuda sent to Lillehammer, just as the luge racer had been at Albertville two years prior" - maybe reword to something like "...Lillehammer, just as he had been the only athlete sent to Albertville two years prior."
- Who is John Hoskins and why was he the flag bearer? « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:01, 30 August 2018 (UTC)
- Added. Courcelles (talk) 19:54, 4 September 2018 (UTC)
- Images
- No images used, except country flag, which is PD. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:49, 30 August 2018 (UTC)
- References
- Are there any other references you can include? The article relies almost completely on one source (Sports Reference).
- Added a couple IOC citations, but the official report from Lillehammer is one of the more useless out there. Courcelles (talk) 19:54, 4 September 2018 (UTC)
- All other references, formatting, and inline locations look good. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:01, 30 August 2018 (UTC)
- Overall
- Overall, pretty similar to past articles. Short, concise, and just a few issues noted above. Placing on hold. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:01, 30 August 2018 (UTC)
- Okay, that's everything sorted, let me know what you think Gonzo fan2007. 19:54, 4 September 2018 (UTC)
- Looks good. Passed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:58, 4 September 2018 (UTC)
- @Gonzo fan2007 and Courcelles: I have got one concern on the article - How can John Hoskins be the flag bearer if he is not in the contingent. Kpgjhpjm 01:46, 13 September 2018 (UTC)
- Kpgjhpjm, that was one of my questions in my review above. Courcelles added the sentence "John Hoskins, who would later be president of the Bermuda Olympic Association, served as the flagbearer for the opening ceremony" which satisfied my concern. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 01:59, 13 September 2018 (UTC)
- @Gonzo fan2007 and Courcelles: I have got one concern on the article - How can John Hoskins be the flag bearer if he is not in the contingent. Kpgjhpjm 01:46, 13 September 2018 (UTC)
- Looks good. Passed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:58, 4 September 2018 (UTC)