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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Vortex3427 (talk · contribs) 05:08, 3 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hi @Vortex3427:, just a heads up that starting tomorrow I'll be on vacation for about 2 weeks. I'll make any corrections and respond to your review promptly when I return. Grk1011 (talk) 13:58, 3 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Noted. — VORTEX3427 (Talk!) 21:20, 3 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Grk1011: Only a few suggestions.
  • (from Boston Local Company) shouldn't really be pointed out in bold.
  • It was unclear to me in both the lead and the body, when the company was "acquired with the intent of expanding nationally", whether the founders or the buyers had that intent
  • Does the third paragraph really need to be in the lead? It feels a bit advertisement-y.
    • It summarizes the "corporate identity" section of the article. The lead should adequate summarize all sections/aspects of the article. These facts were extensively reported in media. Grk1011 (talk) 14:10, 20 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • a comma after "Jera's Juice" for readability
  • You could just do "In writing about the change, Signs of the Times's Anya Rao noted that observed that" or something similar
  • "...to become the first locations of Austrialia-based Zambrero". Australia is misspelled, and specify "in the United States"
  • Are all of these quotes from Pepper necessary? For example, passages like '"Pepper described that "our real customers today are people who are on the front lines: hospital workers, police, other restaurant works, firefighters, other essential workers working all through the office buildings." He added that customers should order delivery or pick-up at one of the remaining locations, stating "we need you, our customers,... every hour counts."' aren't really that relavant. And the quote "Boloco could be a lot more profitable if it were not because the company pays $2 to $3 more per hour in wages than is the norm for restaurant workers." is of less value than the opinions from outside observers. You've also already established that Boloco pays more than the industry norm, you don't need Pepper's quote to verify it further
  • "CEO at the time" should be hyphenated, or "then-CEO"
— VORTEX3427 (Talk!) 03:22, 20 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Vortex3427: Thanks for the review and great timing as I've just returned. Thank you for your patience! I've made the above changes, with some comments added above. Grk1011 (talk) 14:10, 20 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Made a few minor additional changes, including adding an "External links" section. I'm passing the article now. — VORTEX3427 (Talk!) 10:46, 21 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.