Talk:Bombus bifarius
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Untitled
[edit]Hi! This page is being created as an assignment for a college course. Please let me know if there are any factual errors. (Mpmaz (talk) 02:43, 27 September 2015 (UTC))
Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
[edit] This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Mpmaz. Peer reviewers: Mandeljulia, Missmanasa.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 18:13, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
Suggestions/Corrections
[edit]Overall, the article was extremely informative and well written. Especially good job with the description; I really like the multiple sub headings as they make the article feel more complete. You do provide some unnecessary distribution and habitat information in the “taxonomy” section. I do not really think this information fits well with taxonomy, and I believe it can be deleted. In the “colony cycle” section you talk about queens “emerging from hibernation”, but never bring up this topic in other parts of the article. I personally want to know more about how this hibernation process works (is it only queens? where does it happen in the nest? etc.). I think you should create a new “behavior” heading that talks about this hibernation process in order to make the article more complete. I also think that you can add a little to the “colony cycle” section. The section currently seems somewhat brief and leaves the reader with a number of questions (how are new nests initiated?). I went ahead and added a number of hyperlinks to the article as well. Overall, great work! Jkottapalli (talk) 22:30, 1 October 2015 (UTC)
Suggestions/Corrections
[edit]The main corrections I made were concerning the differentiation of specific terms and concepts via quotation marks, as well as the addition of inter-Wiki links. I included single quotation marks around the titles of the two different polymorphisms found in the first paragraph, as well as double quotation marks around the concept of” buzz pollination” in order to differentiate these terms from the rest of the passage. I also added around 10 inter-Wiki links for words that I felt could require further explanation, such as “thorax,” “eusocial,” and “incubation.” Moreover, the section about diet did not have any hyperlinks for the plants that were mentioned so I link all 16 of these plants to further articles. In addition, I altered some sentence structure where I considered appropriate, including in the description and identification section where I changed “there exist many similarities” to “many similarities exist.” My suggestions for improvement include possibly further analyzing the nest construction and diet of the bee. Perhaps you could describe the general time and season of nest construction, how it is initiated/executed, etc. Moreover, for the diet section perhaps you could include the average amounts of the plans that must be eaten or how such food is acquired. Otherwise, I thought the article was very well written and thorough! :) Missmanasa (talk) 19:20, 29 September 2015 (UTC)
Feedback
[edit]Great work on this article! It is very well written and researched. I have just a few suggestions on how you can make it clearer. In the taxonomy and phylogeny section, I would suggest briefly explaining what the difference is between “nominate” and “nearcticus,” because it is not entirely clear. If they are simply different color patterns, maybe describe how they look different? I see it is slightly described in the last sentence of the description section, but I still think it would benefit from earlier explanation in the taxonomy section simply because they are such unusual terms. The way you have things written in the colony cycle section, it implies that one colony is founded by multiple queens. Is this the case? If not, I would consider rephrasing things or adding a clarifying sentence making it clear colonies are singly founded. I made some fairly large changes to your phrasing in the mate guarding section in order to make your writing more concise, so be sure to look over that section to ensure you agree with my edits. The same is true of the first section of thermoregulation in the nest. Let me know if you have any questions. Thanks! Mandeljulia (talk) 16:42, 30 September 2015 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]Excellent job on this article! It seems very well researched and contains a lot of detailed information. I did not find any grammatical errors, and I thought the article flowed really nicely. I do think the article could benefit from the addition of more images, as they would provide visuals to better understand the text. There seem to be good hyperlinks throughout, but I added a couple too. I would suggest perhaps adding sections on defense and communication, as these would further benefit the article and it bring it closer to good article standing. Additionally, a section covering human importance subsections could benefit the article as a whole. In some sections, like the Thermoregulation in the Nest sections, I think there were more citations than needed and some can be removed. So long as the same source is being used for facts and information in multiple sentences of a section, the citation is only needed at the end of the section. Overall, bravo and keep up the great work!! Khan.nadia (talk) 04:30, 5 December 2015 (UTC)