Talk:Carl Segerståhl/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Nominator: Frzzl (talk · contribs) 21:30, 29 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 04:39, 23 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this. The user is on wikibreak until 27 June so I will wait until closer to then while I review other GANs. :) Template:LunaEatsTunaSig (talk), posted at 04:39, 23 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@LunaEatsTuna, this is just a ping to remind you to get on this, now that we've hit June 27. -- asilvering (talk) 01:29, 28 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. ❧ LunaEatsTuna (talk), proudly editing since 2018 (and just editing since 2017) – posted at 18:29, 29 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

This is a tiny irrelevant thingy but I would start § Background with his full name since the lead technically summarises the body of the article (so this should be mentioned) + I looked through some other GA and FA biographies and this seems to be the standard.
Wikilink Östergötland.
"he worked for the cultural archives of Lund" – the university or le city? If this is the university, I would rephrase to avoid mentioning it twice in such close succession, maybe "In the 1920s, while studying at Lund, he worked for their cultural archives under folklorist …".
Replace the en dash with a semicolon (;) as it is more standard in this context.
"where he worked until his death, as a teacher from 1929 to 1948, and as rector thereafter" – how about "where he worked until his death; as a teacher from 1929 to 1948, and as rector thereafter" to improve the sentence flow?
I would do "At Vindeln, Segerståhl initiated the university's journal, Vindeln, and spread it towards other villages in Degerfors and several parishes in Västerbotten" for better clarity and flow, like clear water.

Because the sentence is quite long and convoluted, I would cut it as "… Segerståhl was a proponent for the introduction of international auxiliary languages. He published a book entitled …" to make it more digestible.
One of the article's categories seems to imply that he could speak Occidental, but the article says he merely supported its introduction/admired it. Do any of the sources say whether or not he knew the language? If so, this should be mentioned in the article.

TBD