Talk:Charlie Sheen/GA1

GA Review

Expand lead to better summarize article per WP:LEAD
Format references per WP:CITE/ES
Use en dashes for numerical ranges such as "2008 - present" per WP:DASH

Gary King (talk) 02:08, 14 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The lead is still fairly short. I'd like to see it expanded further.
En dashes are not done. Especially in the infobox.
I rarely say this, but in this case, the references are used excessively. For instance, the paragraph in the "Early life" section has the same reference for every sentence; you can just place it at the end of the paragraph to show that the entire paragraph is cited to that one reference, for example.

Gary King (talk) 17:22, 17 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I think it's okay now

Well, I've done the dashes, deleted some double references, and made the lead longer, could you please take another look? Music2611 (talk) 12:20, 18 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

It looks a lot better overall now.

Some of the paragraphs don't have references at all now, though, such as "In 1995, Sheen married Donna Peele". Some of the references end halfway through a paragraph so I'm not sure if they cover the rest of the paragraph, like this: "Most recently, Sheen has been playing the role of Charlie Harper on the sitcom Two and a Half Men, which debuted in 2003." which is uncited
"On 20 May 1998, " – link dates like this one

Please check the entire article for the above points as the examples provided are just that – examples. Thanks! Gary King (talk) 18:22, 18 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Every paragraph ends with a reference

Well, I think it's done now, every paragraph ends with a notable reference. Thanks, Music2611 (talk) 14:09, 22 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

That looks great now. However, there are still issues with dates. Namely, lone years like "1972—present" should not be linked per MOS:UNLINKYEARS, and full dates like "20 May 1998" should be linked. Gary King (talk) 18:52, 22 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

How about now

I've deleted every link to loose years that I could find. Music2611 (talk) 22:41, 22 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

What does the yellow mean in the "Career awards" table? Gary King (talk) 23:04, 22 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

That the winners of the award aren't final yet. Music2611 (talk) 11:51, 23 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ah, I just realized they are 2008. The table should be in chronological order; just to give you an example of one of the best lists of awards for an actor, take a look at this: List of Judy Garland awards and honors. Gary King (talk) 16:34, 23 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done Music2611 (talk) 10:35, 25 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I think the cocaine story in the lead is given too much weight; I don't suggest mentioning it in the lead to keep it neutral per WP:LEAD. Also, references like IMDB and blogs are not reliable per WP:RS, so please replace those. Gary King (talk) 16:50, 25 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Well, could you have another look now? Music2611 (talk) 21:38, 25 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Specific references that need to be replaced include "Awards for Charlie Sheen" (IMDB) and "Charlie Sheen - Personal life" (blog).
Rename: "Career awards" → "Awards", "Filmography" → "Films", "TV-Series" → "Television"

Gary King (talk) 23:26, 25 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I'll delete the blogs, but the IMDB awards page is reliable, and referencing all awards apart is useless when you got all awards on one webpage. Music2611 (talk) 14:19, 26 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The awards table should look something like the ones found in List of awards won by Woody Allen; the order from left to right of the columns is important because it usually goes from least specific (the years) to most specific (the specific award won). So, for instance, the nominated work should be in the second column.
Does "Living Legend of Sex" really have to be a separate section? It can probably be merged into Personal life, as it is related to his personal life.
Why is "9/11 Truth Movement involvement" called the "Truth Movement"? That term isn't mentioned anywhere else besides the section's title.
Please merge the small paragraphs, especially in "Personal life", to other paragraphs
"blew new life into his fading career." is pretty POV – I suggest removing it

Gary King (talk) 19:14, 26 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Well, what about now? Music2611 (talk) 11:41, 27 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"In 2000, he was cast to replace Michael J. Fox on the popular sitcom Spin City, even though the sitcom only lasted for two more seasons, Charlie's performance caught the eye of CBS executives, who, in 2003, were looking for an established star to star in their new sitcom Two and a Half Men, which followed the popular Monday night time slot of Everybody Loves Raymond." – this is one sentence and can certainly be broken up
"Men, was " – comma not needed
"Series - Musical" – should be an en dash per WP:DASH
"A warrant was issued for his arrest: at last the rehab stuck ." – remove extra space before period. also, "at last the rehab stuck" doesn't strike me as being very encyclopedic; it can probably be reworded better
"year--from" – this should either be an unspaced em dash or a spaced en dash per WP:DASH
"names."" – period goes outside of the quotes per WP:PUNC
"satisfied"." – period goes inside the quotes
"filming Good Advice 2001." – perhaps "filming Good Advice in 2001."?

Please check the rest of the article for issues such as these and let me know when this is done. Gary King (talk) 20:23, 27 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done. - Music2611 (talk) 11:02, 28 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

There should probably be a link to 9/11 Truth Movement somewhere if that's what the section discusses
There are still several small paragraphs in the "Personal life" section; they can be merged with one another (ensure that they are merged logically)

Gary King (talk) 17:16, 28 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Did what you asked

I've merged some paragraphs in the "Personal life" section in to eachother, and I 've renamed the "9/11 Truth Involvement" section into "9/11 Statements". Music2611 (talk) 22:26, 28 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I feel that "9/11 statements" doesn't need an entire section dedicated to it; does it really have that much weight that it needs its own section? Right now, it appears much more prominently than any of his television and film achievements because it has its own section. I recommend merging it into Personal life, therefore removing the section heading. Gary King (talk) 23:14, 28 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done Music2611 (talk) 20:30, 29 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The article still needs work.

Too many small paragraphs in "Personal life", including "Sheen was the 2004", "Jason Itzler, owner of the ", and "In a 1997 Empire magazine interview,".
"On March 20, 2006, Sheen revealed" should be placed in chronological order in the "Personal life" section.
"called Sheen Kidz at 2006." – "called Sheen Kidz in 2006."
"TV-Movie" – "TV-movie"
"a.k.a" – "also known as"
"(two scene)" – "(two scenes)"

Please just check the entire article again. Gary King (talk) 20:58, 29 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

What about now? Music2611 (talk) 12:17, 30 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

It looks better now. However, is there really no more information that can be added to the Career section? Personal life gives a lot of information, but Career appears to be scarce, especially when he has had a fairly prolific acting career. Gary King (talk) 17:24, 30 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Well, I've increased the Career section, good enough? Music2611 (talk) 12:01, 31 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Passing Gary King (talk) 02:01, 8 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]