Talk:Cordyline australis/GA1
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GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:18, 3 May 2010 (UTC)
I will copyedit as I go and make straighforward style changes. Please revert if I accidentally change the meaning. I will jot queries down below. Casliber (talk · contribs) 05:18, 3 May 2010 (UTC)
which are branched to the fourth order. -don't know what this means.wikilink bract, panicle, inflorescenceThe nectar attracts "enormous numbers" of insects to the flowers - should be able to use an equivalent term here which doesn't require quotation marks, which is not good for readability.Some of the names are revealing, says Simpson..- how about "Simpson reports that some of the names reveal (or point to/highlight/tell us/etc.) the characteristics...." - would also be good to note at first instance who simpson is.- — Made it: Botanist Philip Simpson reports that some of the names highlight the characteristics of the tree that were important to Māori — Is that enough intro for Simpson? He worked for the Conservation Department at the time of Sudden Decline and wrote a good book about C. australis. Kahuroa (talk) 08:45, 3 May 2010 (UTC)
The Habitat serction starts with a quotation - would an intro telling us where the quotation is from help the reader?I think I'd sit the Regional diversity subsection under description as it suits there better.- — Yep, done. I had it there at one stage. After I moved it though, the two maps (the natural range one in the taxobox and regional variants one) were closer together and seemed to clash/be cluttery to me - so I have tried using the regional variants map as the range map. I think it works...?? Kahuroa (talk) 08:45, 3 May 2010 (UTC)
The para starting After nearly five years... - teh first sentence gives a cause and then the second two describe it as unknown. Should the first be moved down so it makes sense chronologically?
:I think rewording para 2 in the Grazing animals section so it is not a quote would be good. Unnecessary to copy a slab of text like that.The first para of the Medicine paragraph I think could do with some referencing from medical Review Articles given the claims made. I will have a look later.
Looking good overall though. Not too much to do. Casliber (talk · contribs) 06:53, 3 May 2010 (UTC)