Talk:David Alcaide/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 13:08, 7 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

"pool" is piped to a redirect in the opening sentence.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
" the event in 2017" make it "the 2017 event" so you can avoid an easter egg link.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"semi-finalist having reached the semifinals" hyphen or not?
- reworded Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"the first ever Spanish player to" no need for "ever".
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
" plays fellow cue sport snooker" really no need for "fellow cue sport".
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Where is date of birth referenced?
- added a sentence in the prose Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
" twice in both" no need for "twice" or "both".
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
" aged 5," five. And the latter age -> fourteen.
- aren't ages always numbers? I thought someone had told me that before. MOS:NUM says: Comparable values should be all spelled out or all in figures, even if one of the numbers would normally be written differently: patients' ages were five, seven, and thirty-two or ages were 5, 7 and 32, which is why I wrote this like this Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  - No, ages aren't always numbers. But you're right about the comparable values. Since we usually write out numbers less than 10 or those which can be written in one/two words (e.g. fourteen, thirty-two) then I've always opted for words. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 11:19, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Perhaps to add some detail about his date and place of birth in the prose rather than just in the lead/infobox.
- see above Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"the Spanish Open in" why italics?
- Who knows? Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Second sentence of "Nine-ball" section is massive, needs chopping up.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"and then later during" well he can't make his "first breakthrough" twice so this needs rework.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Lee Van Corteza - our article has it with two n's in Vann.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
See previous reviews for comments on linking, hyphenating: double-elimination tournament etc.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Alcaide would lose " "lost". A few of these...
- I have a tick, I swear. Deleted Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I would merge the first two paras of the "Nine ball" section as they are closely related and the second para is way short.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"last of the event, seeing the event" repetitive.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Alcaide would not represent" -> did not.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Probably worth noting the result of the 2017 Mosconi Cup too. Should the tie and win in the Mosconi Cup be listed in his honours?
- The win, yes, the tie - not so much. The result was in the prose Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Fong-Pang-> Fong-pang.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Jung-Lin-> Jung-lin.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
No need to relink Van(n) Corteza.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Alcaide would repeat ..." too many run-ons here too.
- fixed Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Alcaide represented Spain" has represented, unless I suppose he's certain never to do it again.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Malaga" diacritic consistency please.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Bronze Medalist"/"Bronze Medal" why the over-capitalisation?
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Ref 23 marked as permanently dead so needs replacing.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Avoid SHOUTING in the refs.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Avoid repeating the source of the reference in the ref title.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Avoid spaced hyphens in the ref title.
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Be consistent, is it AZ Billiards, or AzBilliards or azbilliards.com?
- Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

That's enough for my opening thoughts, it's on hold. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 09:37, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I think I got through all of these TRMBest Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 10:29, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Added a reply above. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 11:19, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Any reason why "2009 Predator International Ten-ball Tour – Portugal[34]" isn't mentioned in the prose? The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 11:30, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I have added a little bit about this - the tour was barely much of a thing, but he did win it Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 11:59, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

And which is it in 2009, Italian or Treviso? The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 11:45, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Strictly speaking, both names are used, but I've been consistent now. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 11:59, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Happy now, promoting. Good work again (I made a few more tweaks, but nothing major). Cheers. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 12:54, 9 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]