Talk:Desert kite/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Eviolite (talk · contribs) 04:53, 24 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I will be reviewing this article; if I do not get to it within ~36 hours please ping me. eviolite (talk) 04:53, 24 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
Passes spotchecks, at least from the sources I can access at present
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
No obvious gaps
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Picture is VRT-approved and clearly relevant.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Prose comments[edit]

Lead[edit]

Consider linking North Africa, Central Asia, and Arabia
Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"6000 known such structures" seems awkward to me, maybe just "6,000 known desert kites"
Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"meters"/(kilo)"metres", be consistent
Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
link gazelle, maybe
Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Appearance and occurrence[edit]

"made up by" seems odd, maybe something like "composed of"
It might be clear if you explicitly said "linear piles of stones"
The dimensions mentioned are for the kites, not the piles, right? For clarity I'd recommend splitting the measurements into another sentence
Done to here. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
What does "accounting of erosion" include in this case?
That the piles weren't much higher before erosion. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
", or even lines formed by" - maybe "or the result of lines formed by"
Commas around and "but in one common structure"
"a structure consisting of" is redundant
Done to here. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
What are these "attached cells"?
Places where the wall is bent outward, akin to the letter omega. Not sure how to formulate it. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"which are interpreted as" - "which have been interpreted as"
If much larger and smaller sizes are also known, is the 10k sq m just an average then? If so that should be noted.
Add comma after "were eroded or submerged"
"although they occur at their margins" - I may be wrong but I think the source is saying they occur at the margins of mountains regions rather than that of endorheic basins, so should be clarified
Done to here. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
what does "open" terrain refer to?
Lack of vegetation and rocks. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
What is a "slope break"?
Where a slope changes. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"Humid climate" is a dab page
Can't do anything about this, sorry. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"are known from Europe" - given the structure of this sentence, change to "have been found in Europe"
"Mesolithic-Neolithic age" - maybe "the Mesolithic and Neolithic ages"?
Consider rewording " in North America structures used into the 19th century AD known as drive lines," to something like "North America, where structures known as drive lines have been used into the 19th century AD,"
I don't think drive line is linking to the correct article
Done to here. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Function[edit]

"are traps" - "were used as traps", maybe
remove "just" in "just linear structures", sounds like editorializing
Done to here. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
What is this "significant impact on wild animals"? If there are no details I'd recommend removing the sentence.
Source doesn't specify. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Research history[edit]

"either" in "interpreted either as" is redundant
I assume a toy kite is just a kite, so change that to avoid the redlink.
"are" -> "include" in "research are what"
Done to here. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Jo-Jo Eumerus: Thanks! I've done some minor copyediting as I said on a second pass; of course, feel free to change them back if you find them to be incorrect or unhelpful, but I am happy to promote this to GA now. Great work! eviolite (talk) 15:09, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Jo-Jo Eumerus: See my comments above for a first pass; I might go through and do minor copyedits later as well. eviolite (talk) 14:24, 26 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]