Talk:Dilaw (song)/GA1

GA Review

Unsuccessful. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 01:20, 28 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Royiswariii (talk · contribs) 13:18, 25 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk · contribs) 03:50, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	"The song charted at number one on the Billboard Philippines Hot 100 and Spotify Philippines Weekly Top Songs Chart, garnering three million streams in its first week and making Maki the male OPM artist with the most listeners on the music service platform." This sentence is a bit long, is there any way you could split it up? CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] "The EP explores themes of uncertainty and emotional turnoil that comes with dealing with confusion and heartbreak after losing love." I feel like this sentence could be reworded to flow better. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] "iTunes Philippines Top songs chart." Does "Top" need to be capitalized? If so, should "songs" and "chart" also be capitalized? CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] I had to do a bit of copyediting here. Just a reminder that when using acronyms its best to use the full term the first time you use the acronym. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	The lede of this article needs to be significantly expanded before it can pass good article criteria. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 03:50, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] Thanks for this feedback!, ~~is there any suggestions that I can more expand the article~~ I expanded more the lede of the article, you can check it. Royiswariii (talk) 04:34, 26 August 2024 (UTC) (GA Nominator)[reply] I originally had a reply written out for this but it does appear that you’ve updated your lede (although i haven’t read it yet) but my advice for expanding any lede is to take information from the body of the article and summarize it. the same way you would read another source and summarize it when writing an article just instead your using your own content as a base. that way you don’t have to use any citations in the lede. Thank you for being fo receptive to feedback and willing to fix things! CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 09:14, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] While I see that you have expanded the lede a bit more I still think it is too short. Remember that most readers only read the lede, so you want most of the important info in the lede. For this article I would recommend adding info about the background (eg. Dilaw was released after the album album Saan?), who produced and composed the song when the song was released and announced, a bit about the music video, its reception and it's performance. Your lede should ideally be about 4 paragraphs of information from the body of the article. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 21:34, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] This is noted. I will try my best to expand the lede of the article as much as I can. Royiswariii (talk) 02:39, 27 August 2024 (UTC) (GA Nominator)[reply] Hi! I just update the Background secion and add the citations in Composition section and on lede.Royiswariii (talk) 04:33, 27 August 2024 (UTC) (GA Nominator)[reply] I still believe the lead is a bit too short. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
2. Verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 21:34, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	A number of your sources are from facebook. These are not generally considered reliable sources. I encourage you to look for more appropriate sources wherever possible. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 03:50, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] Thanks for your feedback! I researched all existing citations and other articles about " How Dilaw's Song Started?", but there are no traces of articles from primary and secondary sources. I had no choice but to cite his profile picture and other post on his Official Social Media of Maki and his record label Tarsier Records since where the information and speculations originated.Royiswariii (talk) 04:26, 26 August 2024 (UTC) (GA Nominator)[reply] I will have to seek out another opinion on this (i’m fairly new to reviewing GAN myself) however I will continue my review in the meantime. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 09:14, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] This is noted. For the meantime, ~~i will research some articles again if there's a articles. (I will update this message if there's a article or not)~~ Update: Unfortunately, there is no article, nor ABS-CBN (primary source) or other sources, that supporting the teaser of the song. It's confirmed that it was all started that Maki changed his Facebook profile picture to solid yellow image. Royiswariii (talk) 14:01, 26 August 2024 (UTC)(GA Nominator)[reply] I am also very confused by your 18th reference. If you could clarify what you are trying to do with the whole <ref>Citations about "Dilaw" topping ''Billboard Philippines''<nowiki/>' chart {{Multiref2\|{{Cite web \|last=Saulog \|first=Gabriel \|date=2024-06-19 \|title=Maki's "Dilaw" Tops Billboard's Philippines Songs Chart \|url=https://billboardphilippines.com/market/chart-beat/makis-dilaw-tops-billboards-philippines-songs-chart-2024/ \|access-date=2024-08-23 \|website=Billboard Philippines}}\|{{Cite web \|title=BINI, Maki, Sabrina Carpenter lead first week of Billboard PH's 'Hot 100' \|url=https://www.gmanetwork.com/news/lifestyle/content/912138/bini-maki-sabrina-carpenter-lead-first-week-of-billboard-ph-s-hot-100/story/ \|access-date=2024-08-23 \|website=GMA NEWS ONLINE}}\|{{Cite web \|last=C \|first=Toff \|title=Maki's 'Dilaw' is first No. 1 song on Billboard Philippines Hot 100 chart \|url=https://push.abs-cbn.com/2024/7/3/maki-s-dilaw-is-first-no-1-song-on-billboard-philippines-hot-100-chart-1745 \|access-date=2024-08-23 \|website=PUSH}}\|{{Cite web \|last=Saulog \|first=Gabriel \|date=2024-06-11 \|title=Maki Makes His Global Spotify Chart Debut With "Dilaw" \|url=https://billboardphilippines.com/market/industry-news/maki-makes-his-global-spotify-chart-debut-with-dilaw/ \|access-date=2024-08-23 \|website=Billboard Philippines}} }}</ref> On August 2024, it had surpassed 100 million streams on Spotify, further establishing Maki's influence in the music industry.<ref>{{Cite web \|last=Antonio \|first=Josiah \|date=2024-08-21 \|title=Maki reaches new milestone with 100M streams of 'Dilaw' on Spotify \|url=https://news.abs-cbn.com/entertainment/2024/8/21/maki-reaches-new-milestone-with-100m-streams-of-dilaw-on-spotify-1723 \|access-date=2024-08-25 \|website=ABS-CBN NEWS}}</ref> thing that would be great.CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 03:50, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] According to the summary, it was bundeled 4 references and he removed Overcite tag, and fix citations errors. If you want further clarification on your question, I will mention AstrooKai since he did this fix citations. Royiswariii (talk) 04:26, 26 August 2024 (UTC) (GA Nominator)[reply] I will look into this tomorrow when I am on my laptop. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 09:14, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] Hello, I noticed you mentioned me, but I didn’t receive a notification. However, I came across your message while reading the GA nomination and saw my username mentioned. Regarding your question about revision 1242113329, I bundled the four references into one inline citation as Borgenland saw the use of four inline citations to be excessive (see rev. 1242029360). I agree that the passage "The track also topped Billboard's Philippines Songs chart, cementing its status as a major hit in the country." was perhaps overly supported by four different sources (WP:OVERCITE). To address this, I used the {{Multiref2}} template to consolidate them into a single citation. If you believe this approach doesn’t meet the GAN criteria or could be improved, please feel free to revise it. I’m open to any adjustments that would better conform to the guidelines.AstrooKai (Talk • Contribs) 12:51, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] @AstrooKai: (pinging you so that you see my reply) I had never seen that style of citations before and was just unfamiliar with it. Thank you for clarifying, no further action is needed on your part. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 21:34, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] You're welcome! Glad I could help clarify the issue. If you have further questions regarding the article concerning me, feel free to ask.AstrooKai (Talk • Contribs) 02:29, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] I just noticed that you have a couple of citation needed templates in this article. Those need to be fixed before I can continue my review. Just a note when putting content into the lede it doesn't need citatations if the content is sourced somewhere else in the article for example if you were to add "The music video was directed by Jaydee Alberto and effectively blends storytelling with visual artistry, enhancing the song's themes of romance and personal growth" to the lede it wouldn't need a citation because that same sentence is sourced elsewhere in the article. However if your adding new information into the lede it does need citations, such as adding ""Dilaw" is a pop song that explores the themes of unconditional love." since you don't have that statement elsewhere in your article it needs to be sourced. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 21:34, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] Hi! I just filled the citations needed. You can check it now. Royiswariii (talk) 04:33, 27 August 2024 (UTC) GA Nominator[reply] "The song's release generated excitement among fans and quickly became a highlight of his discography, showcasing his continued growth and appeal in the music scene." This is not backed up by your source. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] ""Dilaw" is three minutes and twelve seconds pop song set in the key of A, with a tempo of 126 beats per minute." You could remove your 5th ref here as your 6th ref backs up the length of the song. Additionally, neither of these sources call it a pop song however I'm not sure if that needs to be cited. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] "composed by Ralph William Datoon" This is not backed up by your source. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] "The song was crafted through a collaborative effort, with Maki playing a central role in the creative process, ensuring that the final product reflected his artistic vision" This isn't fully supported by your source. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] "A social media user speculated that Maki would release a new single titled "Dilaw", noting that he had recently performed it in Concepcion, Tarlac" Again I'm not sure if Facebook comments are considered a reliable source here. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] I was able to access and verify all other sources. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk)
	2c. it contains no original research.	Per above. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	All writing was put into authors own words. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	"The song was crafted through a collaborative effort, with Maki playing a central role in the creative process, ensuring that the final product reflected his artistic vision" Is there any way you could expand on this process? CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] "Maki first teased "Dilaw" on April 27, 2024, by changing his Facebook profile picture to a solid yellow image." It's not really clear to me how changing his profile picture teased the release of the song. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] "effectively blends storytelling with visual artistry, enhancing the song's themes of romance and personal growth." How does it effectively blend storytelling with visual artistry? CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] "Maki's character gradually brings color—both literally and figuratively—into Maloi's character's life, symbolizing the blossoming romance between them." How does Maki's character bring color into the other characters life? CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] "The video includes scenes of the duo engaging in creative activities and exploring their surroundings, reflecting their deepening connection." What kind of creative activities? What surroundings are they exploring? CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	I believe this passes but I will need to seek out a second opinion regarding the "Background" section. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	The article does kind of come across as if it is written by a fan however I will again need to seek out a second opinion here as I am not sure if it crosses the line. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] I wasn't sure where to put this but this statement seems odd: "Writing for Billboard Philippines, Gabriel Saulog praised "Dilaw" for its "emotional resonance and heartfelt lyrics"" Is "Gabriel Saulog" notable enough to be mentioned by name? CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 21:34, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 21:34, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 21:34, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	7. Overall assessment.	~~On hold until @Royiswariii: can address the issues with the citation needed templates and further expand the lede.~~CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 21:34, 26 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] I'm not sure what my final decision is here and I will have to seek out some opinions from more experienced reviewers. First off I want to thank @Royiswariii: for being so open to my suggestions thus far. However I found quite a few issues with this article. The lead is quite short in comparison to the article and not what I would expect when reading a GA. Additionally a lot of the sources are from Facebook. While I understand that it can be hard to find reliable sources it just seems odd to cite facebook comments. There was some times that what was written in the article didn't exactly match the sources however I think this could be easily fixed. Probably one of the biggest things for me was that I noticed while reading through the sources that there was quite a bit of information left out of this article. I encourage the nominator to go back through their sources and see what more they could add to this article. Another thing that I noticed is that this article reads as if it is written by a fan of the artist. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 22:40, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply] Thank you for reviewing this article @CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath:. I appreciate your efforts and accept your decision. Royiswariii (talk) 00:20, 28 August 2024 (UTC) (GA Nominator)[reply] I unfortunately have decided to fail this nomination. While I do want to thank the nominator for being receptive to feedback and engaged in the review process I just feel that the article is a long way from meeting GA status. CursedWithTheAbilityToDoTheMath (talk) 01:19, 28 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.