Talk:Dunster/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Montanabw (talk · contribs) 22:52, 23 June 2015 (UTC)
I will review this article and be back shortly with comments. Montanabw(talk) 22:52, 23 June 2015 (UTC)
Rate | Attribute | Review Comment |
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1. Well-written: | ||
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. | ||
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. | ||
2. Verifiable with no original research: | ||
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. | ||
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). | ||
2c. it contains no original research. | ||
3. Broad in its coverage: | ||
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. | A few more minor tweaks, see below | |
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). | ||
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. | ||
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. | ||
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio: | ||
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. | ||
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. | Some sandwiching of text in my browser, may want to consider restructuring layout in "landmarks" section | |
7. Overall assessment. |
"Reviewer's comments': What a lovely town! Nice comprehensive article but needs some fixes:
- lots of dead links, need to fix those.
- "Tor (a rocky outcrop)" Meh, perhaps just link to Tor (rock formation), I think that will do fine, even us Yanks have a rough notion that a "tor" is not a proxy network! ;-)
- Ditto " annual precept (local rate)" - link to an article that explains this, I have no clue even what a "local rate" is - I'm not from the UK ... is this a property tax, an income tax, a per-capita tax...?
- Linked to Rates (tax) }
- "There are in Dunster a range of heritage sites and cultural attractions", wordy. Perhaps "Dunster has a range of..." or "Dunster is home to" or something bit less passive voice?
- COnsider expanding the first paragraph of the history section and rewrite "There was a similar earthwork on Grabbist Hill[9] and another at Long Wood Enclosure.[10][11][12]" - as a reader, I am asking, why does this matter at all, and are these places in Dunster??"
- William de Mohun, William I de Moyon, and William de Moyon confusing, same person or two/three different people? Add "the de Mohuns" Are they related to one another, perchance?
- Changed to William I de Moyon (alias de Moion, also de Mohun) - after the Norman Conquest many of the families of the French nobility changed their names over the next few hundred years to more English sounding names - so yes all part of the same dynasty of Lord of the manor.
- Perhaps link "Grade I listed building"
- Maybe briefly touch on why the harbour is gone... was it silted in, hence the swamps of today, or...? Particularly as there still seems to be a beach? What happened here, geologically?
- "Somerset County Council is responsible " Hmm, I'd want to start the paragraph with "The" - except all the preceding ones are. Maybe to a copyedit to smooth things out.
- First paragraph of Geograph section has the same sentence twice with different footnotes: "During the early medieval period the sea reached the base of the hill, close to the mouth of the River Avill, offering a natural defence and making the village an inland port.[41][42][43] During the early medieval period the sea reached the base of the hill, close to the mouth of the River Avill, offering a natural defence and making the village an inland port.[43]"
- Perhaps link "dry heath" - or simply heath, that's just British English enough that some folks won't quite be sure what that is.
- Why is "The assemblage of beetles" of national significance? Is that a good thing (variety or something?) or a bad thing (bug problem?)
- "Azores high pressure": I presume it's a warm weather pattern, but any way to link or clarify?
- Linked to Azores High.— Rod talk 16:50, 29 June 2015 (UTC)
- I'd link "convection" but unlink "clouds"
- Economy section very, very small. I suggest either expand it or merge it into one of the other sections, preferably the former. We have no idea what actually makes the town tick, is it just retail, or tourism or...? Also, is the community richer or poorer than that national average?
- I'd also expand the Education section. I realize there is only one school, but how far away is the secondary school, and has it "always " been this way? (At least for 50 years o so...?)
- The article did already say "Secondary education in the area is provided by The West Somerset Community College in Minehead" I've added a reference. The village is too small to have had its own secondary education (at least since World War II & there wasn't much secondary education for most people before that).— Rod talk 18:28, 29 June 2015 (UTC)
- 50-50 better - On on hand, "college" threw me - we call the schools for the 11 or 12 and up crowd middle schools and the 14 and up kids go to high schools, but on the other hand, I see a gap - where do the 10 to 13 year old kids of the town go to school? You could also expand it a bit by noting that about 143 kids attend, that's cute and quaint; also, I was impressed that they have a swimming pool, that's probably not common for elementary schools in general! ;-)
- The article did already say "Secondary education in the area is provided by The West Somerset Community College in Minehead" I've added a reference. The village is too small to have had its own secondary education (at least since World War II & there wasn't much secondary education for most people before that).— Rod talk 18:28, 29 June 2015 (UTC)
- Landmarks section has some unsourced material.
- Transport section is only about trains. I presume there are also roads... and where would be the nearest airport?
- The religious sites section could be moved up to be a subsection of the Culture section, IMHO
- I've done this but was following the guidelines at WP:UKCITIES.— Rod talk 18:28, 29 June 2015 (UTC)
- I see no section on demographics, ethnicity, aging, etc... perhaps add that?
- I've put this with the economy section.— Rod talk 18:28, 29 June 2015 (UTC)
- Could use a copyedit; Starting the paragraph "West street is the oldest; though quieter... huh? Missing a few words there and maybe some introductory phrasing. Also, good improvements on ethnicity and democraphics, but curious if the population as a whole is richer or poorer than the national or regional average; I see that unemployment is lower and population is older, but if there is an overall stat, that would be helpful - not required for me to pass this GAN, but nice if you can find it.
- I've put this with the economy section.— Rod talk 18:28, 29 June 2015 (UTC)
- More comments may be forthcoming. 1 am here, gotta go. Montanabw(talk) 07:29, 25 June 2015 (UTC)
Hope you will be able to address these issues. Montanabw(talk) 07:04, 25 June 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks for all comments so far which have definitely helped to improve the article.— Rod talk 18:28, 29 June 2015 (UTC)
- I tweaked a couple things myself that were minor but bugging me; feel free to revert or alter, as they don't influence the GAN significantly. You've got about 95% of what I pinged all taken care of - I've put a at what's good to go and a where I'd like a couple more tweaks; it's all fixable and mostly minor, then I should be able to pass this. Montanabw(talk) 19:45, 3 July 2015 (UTC)
{[y}} Good to go, passed GA! Congrats! Montanabw(talk) 02:55, 9 July 2015 (UTC)