Talk:E.T. (song)/GA2

GA Review 2

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: (CA)Giacobbe (talk · contribs) 10:25, 11 June 2012 (UTC)

Hey Teman! I figured since I haven't contributed virtually anything to this article, it be good to review it :)--(CA)Giacobbe (talk) 21:17, 11 June 2012 (UTC)

Lead

• The single version features rap verses by American rapper Kanye West, → The single version features additional rap verses by American rapper Kanye West,

Done

• this version was included in Teenage Dream: The Complete Confection edition. → What is Teenage Dream: The Complete Confection? Is it an EP? Album? Mixtape? Re-release? Explain. Also, put what year it was released in.

Done

• Extraterrestrial metaphors are used throughout, and West continues these metaphors in his two verses, making heavy use of Auto-Tune at times. → Extraterrestrial metaphors are used throughout the song's lyrics, and West's vocals make heavy use of Auto-Tune at times.

Done

• Some critics find its composition → change find to found

Done

• "E.T" received mixed reviews from music critics, some of which complimented Perry's vocals throughout the song, noting that the song was different for Perry, having a darker, deeper, and more mature tone. → thats a really long sentence.

Done

• positive reviews from critics who were divided in their opinions. → add a comma after critics

Done

• Make sure there aren't any refs in the lead

Done

Background

• After the release of the album, Perry, alongside with the official single "Teenage Dream, released a series of promotional singles. → did you mean before the release of the album? Should say "Alongside the second official single "Teenage Dream", Perry released a series of promotional singles to iTunes"

Done

Composition

• a slow tempo of 80 beats per minute in common time.[18] Perry's vocal range spans from Eb4 to Db5.[18] → Musicnotes.com says 76 bpm, should say "Perry's vocal range in the song"
• Second paragraph doesn't need to give a play by play of exactly how the song goes.

Comment

The article is at best semi-literate and needs a thorough copy-edit before it can be considered for GA status. Examples:

• " West's vocals during the song received mixed to positive reviews from critics who were divided in their opinions." Tautology.
• "In an interview with Rolling Stone, regarding then upcoming album, she stated that she doesn't want to "alienate" people with different new styles, indeed she wanted to keep her old sounds to the new tracks." Change of tense.
• "After the release of the album, Perry, alongside with the official single "Teenage Dream, released a series of promotional singles." Needs re-writin g in good plain English.
• "In December 2010, via her official Twitter account, Perry asked fans to help her select her next single, following the release of "Firework" (2010) as a third official single of Teenage Dream." Again, rewrite in good plain English.
• "Speculation arose that "Peacock" would be its next single." "would be its next single"???
• "The announcement was accompanied with the single's artwork, which features Perry with "cat eye make-up, bangs, and a sequined top"." "was accompanied with"??

And so on through-out. Jezhotwells (talk) 14:30, 12 June 2012 (UTC)

I have faith in Teman that he can fix all the issues quickly, so that's why I didnt fail it immediately.--(CA)Giacobbe (talk) 20:56, 12 June 2012 (UTC)

I am concerned as you didn't appear to notice or comment upon the poor quality of the prose - WP:WIAGA #1a. Jezhotwells (talk) 00:58, 14 June 2012 (UTC)

I'm certainly not done the review yet, don't worry.--(CA)Giacobbe (talk) 01:17, 14 June 2012 (UTC)

• Removing nomination, after looking over the article I don't think its ready just yet. teman13 ^{TALKCONTRIBUTIONS} 17

  36, 20 June 2012 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.