Talk:Efren Reyes/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: CR4ZE (talk · contribs) 04:52, 7 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]


I'll have a look at this once my GAN closes (qpq). Thanks! — CR4ZE (T • C) 04:52, 7 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Just a small update—I'll be looking at this within the next few days. Please {{ping}} me if I haven't got anything to you by Monday. — CR4ZE (T • C) 12:59, 8 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

As promised,

Lead
  • Are commas needed between honorifics and birth date?
    • I have no idea about honorifics, so I've removed them entirely, happy to do whatever is suitable. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The lead states Reyes is considered one of pool's greatest players twice.
Pool Career
  • Section should be Pool career or perhaps just Career.
  • "Reyes took on Pepito Dace ... played in rotation" - should be a comma after "which".
  • "who ran their own event, they later acknowledged" - comma splice.
Personal life
  • Are you able to negate choppy paragraphs and short sections? Personal life is a single sentence. OK if not possible.
Accolades
Major titles and achievements
  • 1996/2000 PBT World and 1999 World Professional championships are unsourced.
Images
References
  • Looking good. Thank you for archiving.
    • Nothing worse than working on an article up to GAN, and then the site changes domain or dies. Been burned before! Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Not familiar with this topic so I will have to trust that all cites are to RS.
  • Spot-checked #31: published in 2019 not 2020, so perhaps a hard reading of ATT would mean the article text needs to reflect this.
    • I'll see if there's anything from this year (most competitions closed due to COVID, so no one is playing anything!), but changed to 2019. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Spot-checked #35: can you please point me to a quote that supports "Reyes is known for his highly unorthodox cueing technique"? Couldn't find anything upon a quick read-through.
    • I've changed this to how creative he is. I'd like to add something about his use of Backhand English (or Carabao); which is why he looks like he's playing every shot wrong, but I could only find [1] that really described it. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Also spot-checked #8, #45, #47, #48: AGF on others.
Out of scope

I always offer suggestions to improve the article beyond the GA scope. You may consider these during or after the review (or not at all).

  • Paragraphs in lead could be equally balanced.
    • Yeah, ideally there would be a little more on his technique and such, I'm doing some offline searches for such. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "$100k" is lower-cased in the lead but everywhere else is in upper-case.
  • "winning the event partnering Francisco Bustamante in 2006 and 2009" could be with partner Francisco Bustamanate or simply with.
  • "Many analysts, fans, current and former players" - you could safely lose "current and former".
  • "He cleaned the tables, and would sleep on the floor" - no need for a comma.
  • "the players played" is a little awkward.
  • "U.S." is used before United States; I'd pick one and keep consistent.
    • I have fixed this. Bare in mind that the U.S. Open 9-ball championship is intentionally spelt wrong. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Reyes claims to have earned $80,000" should be "once earned".
  • Check serial commas: "United States, Europe, and parts of Asia" is one example where a comma is not needed.
    • I have changed this, bare in mind serial commas are fine in articles, as long as they are consistent. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Two years later, Efren Reyes"" - just call him Reyes.
  • "earning ¥20M ($170K) first prize" could be "and earning".
    • Fixed. 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
  • "That following year" → "the following year".
  • "He partnered Francisco Bustamante" could be "partnered with" (not sure).
  • Could "veteran professional Billy Incardona"'s quote be paraphrased a little?
    • Well, just "professional", wouldn't be suitable, but "veteran player" might be better? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:34, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Make sure refs are bundled chronologically. Do "in the final and won 11–9" and "and an eight-ball bronze medal at the 2002 Asian Games" need three cites each?
  • Just double-check all redlinks could meet GNG.
    • They do. AZ Billiards is the only one I haven't already thought about making, but it's a notable website. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:14, 13 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

On hold for as long as needed. That's it for now. Thanks! — CR4ZE (T • C) 04:32, 11 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • Thanks for tending to my comments, Lee Vilenski. Just some follow-up as I pass this. I meant shortening Billy Incardona's quote as some parts of it seem a little redundant, but I'll leave that up to you. The ref examples cited weren't necessarily a CITEKILL (non-policy) example, however they could be bundled. Note that except for material highly likely to be CHALLENGED, 1-2 refs to RS would be more than enough. Spot-checked a few refs (#35, #36, #67) again. I copy-edited a few things on my own but you may not like some of my changes, so feel free to change as you see fit. I don't see anything else that I would need to hold this up on, so:

Result[edit]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
    Well done! — CR4ZE (T • C) 02:10, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
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