Talk:Endure and Survive/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Bilorv (talk · contribs) 17:50, 28 August 2023 (UTC)

I'll take this one. — Bilorv (talk) 17:50, 28 August 2023 (UTC)

Overall

This is an excellently written article and I'm happy that it is broad, neutral, stable and illustrated (with an appropriate fair use rationale). I've just got a question about a couple of sources and then some nitpicks in the prose. But the structure is great, it's clear to a reader with no background knowledge and the trickiest part of an episode article—"Reception"—is organized well with topic sentences and comments sorted by theme.

Referencing

I'm familiar with most sources or have convinced myself that they are reliable. What makes these sources reliable: The Daily Moth, Geek Culture?

Spotchecks (numbering as of Special:Permalink/1171952616): #3, #27, #32, #38, #43, #50, #51, #53, #57, #67. No issues found.

Copyedits

Plot

• "who they convince to help them escape" – Reads a bit clunkily with "who", "they" and "them". It could be "who agree to help them escape".
• "she shortly arrives" – I think this has to be "she arrives shortly" (or "she soon arrives").

Production

• "was assigned to direct for the series" – Can be made more concise e.g. "would direct for the series".
• Johnson's casting sentence could maybe be cut down: "..., departed for the set by Saturday and began filming by the following Wednesday".
• "noting it had impacted him when playing" – I'm a bit lost. The character had impacted the actor when playing the video game? (In what way?)
• "Johnson found the scene" – The suicide scene?
• "tried to be as present as authentic as possible" – The middle "as" should be an "and".
• "Johnson considered Henry's final decision was to join his brother" – I think "considered" doesn't fit here; it could be "said"/"believed".
• "Mazin found Kathleen being killed by a child important" – "being killed" is a strange tense. Maybe "Mazin found it important that Kathleen was killed by a child".
• Maybe add "(ADR)" in parentheticals after "automated dialogue replacement", as some readers (me!) may only be familiar with it through its abbreviation.
• "and considered it selfless" – Not clear who considered it selfless (Pierce or Perry).
• ... found his death was an honorable "samurai death" sacrificing himself for the woman he loves – May read better as ... saw his death as an honorable "samurai death", where he sacrificed himself for the woman he loves.
• "was completely built" – "was built" would convey the same information.
• House by the Railroad could get a year in parentheticals.
• I think "40 kilograms" should be "40-kilogram".
• The team wanted the creature to have a "practical presence" – Who is this quoting?
• "Mazin wrote the bloater tore Perry in two" – Doesn't read right to me with a "that" ("Mazin wrote that ...")

Reception

• Since it's just a weekly online article, I think linking honorable mention is a bit much (I don't think a dictionary definition is needed instead as most readers will understand it in context).
• "Rabab Khan wrote the cinematography captured" – Think you need a "that".
• "Aaron Bayne similarly felt ..." – Similar to which critic?

Lead and other

• "post-apocalyptic drama" is a sea of blue: I think most readers understand "drama" in context so maybe that link could be removed.
• introduced "bloaters" ... the costume – I was confused as to whether there was one or many bloaters in the episode before I got to "Production". Perhaps introduced the first "bloater" and use singular consistently (even though, I assume, there are more in either the series or the video game).
• (Also in "Plot".) Henry and Sam are linked to List of The Last of Us characters rather than List of The Last of Us (TV series) characters, and I think only the first named should be linked while these are links to the same section, "Harry and Sam".
• A cul-de-sac is mentioned in the infobox caption but nowhere else—perhaps it should be mentioned in "Plot"?
• (Not part of the GA criteria.) The images in the body should have alt text.

Thanks! — Bilorv (talk) 20:20, 28 August 2023 (UTC)

Thanks for the review and kind words, Bilorv! I've gone through and addressed your concerns. Regarding The Daily Moth and Geek Culture: since they're both interviews with the relevant subjects (Woodard and Pierce, respectively), I believe they're considered primary sources and acceptable for citing straightforward information, which I believe is the case here. Please let me know if you have any other comments or concerns. – Rhain ☔ (he/him) 02:38, 29 August 2023 (UTC)

Excellent, I'm happy that all of my comments have been addressed and this is a pass for GA. Thanks for the quick response! — Bilorv (talk) 15:20, 29 August 2023 (UTC)