Talk:Fame Kills: Starring Kanye West and Lady Gaga/GA2

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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 20:53, 1 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]


Lead
  • "American rapper Kanye West and American pop singer Lady Gaga"..... Gaga isn't exclusively pop, so let's remove that bit from the sentence.
  • "The tour was planned to begin in November 2009 and to end in January 2010"..... a bit long, try was scheduled to run from November 2009 to January 2010
  • "public outcry" → "controversy"
Background and development
  • "West appeared on American talk show The View announcing plans to tour with Gaga, explaining that Gaga would not perform as an opening act"..... let's shorten this to "West first announced on The View that he would be touring with Gaga, and that she would not be an opening act"
  • "perform his hit singles"..... "hit" is POV, so let's just say "perform his songs" or "perform his own songs"
  • MTV (ref#4) only needs to be once used at the end of the second paragraph and once at the end of the third paragraph per WP:OVERCITE
  • I see there is a link to a promotional video, but the video is no longer working in the source given (ref#5). Let's give a link with an available copy of the video.
  • Let's include some critics' reviews of the promotional video
Cancellation
  • Let's include Kanye's quote from the VMA's
  • The genres for Taylor Swift and Beyoncé are not needed here
  • "The incident drew condemnation from celebrities and fans alike"..... reads awkwardly, maybe "West was publicly criticized for the incident"
  • "the status of Fame Kills was rumored to be in question"..... maybe something like "questions rose about West continuing with Fame Kills" would be better
  • "representative from an US urban radio station"..... I noticed that this says the representative chose to remain anonymous, but was it ever revealed elsewhere what his or her name was?
  • "Two weeks after the tour dates were announced, it was canceled but no reason was given"..... the source given (ref#9) does not even say the dates had been announced that recently
  • TMZ (ref#10) is not a reliable source
  • "added that she would be embarking on her own headlining tour in the coming weeks" → "added that she would soon embark on her own headling tour, The Monster Ball Tour"
  • "slated to begin her 2009–11 The Monster Ball Tour" → "scheduled to begin The Monster Ball Tour"
References
GA Result
  • On hold for seven days.
  • Thank you for taking this up and I appreciate it given the little hassle we had over "So Happy I Could Die". —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 05:07, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
@SNUGGUMS: done all. Clarifications given, Out reference has the publisher, maybe you missed it? And instead of TMZ, that Rolling Stone reference has it all. Also, that unnamed radio person was never named as far I could find out :( —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 15:43, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I couldn't find anything on that unnamed person either :/, but you've done some fine work here IndianBio :). I wasn't referring to publishers by "publish date". For example, the publish date (when article was released) for this is October 29, 2009, but you had it listed as October 1. I was looking for when the Out ref was first released. SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 18:26, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
So what else is left to correct? Pardon me if I'm missing something? —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 18:40, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Here is how the ref reads now:

<ref>{{cite journal|url=http://www.out.com/entertainment/2009/08/09/lady-vamp|title=The Lady Is a Vamp|last=Stein|first=Joshua David|author2=Michelson, Noah|work=[[Out (magazine)|Out]]|publisher=Joe Landry|page=2|accessdate=September 11, 2011}}</ref>

What I'm opting for:

<ref>{{cite journal|url=http://www.out.com/entertainment/2009/08/09/lady-vamp|title=The Lady Is a Vamp|last=Stein|first=Joshua David|author2=Michelson, Noah|work=[[Out (magazine)|Out]]|publisher=Joe Landry|page=2|accessdate=September 11, 2011|date=*insert here day magazine issue was released, i.e. August or September of 2009*}}</ref>

Hope this helped. SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 18:44, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Wow, i'm such an idiot. Well added it. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 18:49, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
GA! SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 18:56, 2 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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