Talk:Family Gay/GA2
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 02:29, 22 March 2010 (UTC)
Overall, this is a very nice article- it's nicely laid out, well written and it's good to see it doesn't fall into the trap of excessively long plot summaries. My only concerns are that the plot and lead are written in quite an "in-universe" style. I love Family Guy so I know what it's talking about, but it should be written in such a manner that somebody who had never seen it would be able to follow it.
Other than that, the prose is a little choppy in the "Cultural references" and could use a quick copyedit, and what's going on with the dashes in the second paragraph of the "Plot" section? I suggest using unspaced emdashes since they're interrupting a sentence, though you could use endashes if you want.
Once those minor things are fixed, I'll be more than happy to promote this! Nice work, HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 02:29, 22 March 2010 (UTC)
- fixed the dash issue, and CE the cultural references section. Can you please explain/give examples of the IN-U in the plot and lead? CTJF83 chat 17:18, 22 March 2010 (UTC)
- Sure, I should have been more specific. Essentially, you should imagine the reader has been living in a cave for the last 20 years (and, miraculously managed to find this article!) so, for example, Peter's surname isn't given anywhere in the article as far as I can see. It could also do with just a little detail about how the characters are related- a cave man wouldn't know that Peter and Lois are married, for example. Just that little bit of context to help readers who aren't familiar with Family Guy! Btw, linking "straight camp" to £ex-gay" is probably overlinking and you've got a dab link that should be fixed. All things considered it's a very good quality article and it easily meets the GA criteria, so I'll pass it once that's done! Best, HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 17:56, 22 March 2010 (UTC)
- I've made some IN-U fixes, specifying who people are. As for the straight camp link, I think it is a necessary link, so people fully understand what it is, thoughts? CTJF83 chat 18:03, 22 March 2010 (UTC)
- Seems fine to me. I'm happy to pass this now. Nice work. HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 17:55, 26 March 2010 (UTC)
- I've made some IN-U fixes, specifying who people are. As for the straight camp link, I think it is a necessary link, so people fully understand what it is, thoughts? CTJF83 chat 18:03, 22 March 2010 (UTC)
- Sure, I should have been more specific. Essentially, you should imagine the reader has been living in a cave for the last 20 years (and, miraculously managed to find this article!) so, for example, Peter's surname isn't given anywhere in the article as far as I can see. It could also do with just a little detail about how the characters are related- a cave man wouldn't know that Peter and Lois are married, for example. Just that little bit of context to help readers who aren't familiar with Family Guy! Btw, linking "straight camp" to £ex-gay" is probably overlinking and you've got a dab link that should be fixed. All things considered it's a very good quality article and it easily meets the GA criteria, so I'll pass it once that's done! Best, HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 17:56, 22 March 2010 (UTC)