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Talk:Federalist No. 3

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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


This review is transcluded from Talk:Federalist No. 3/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 00:04, 1 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]


Will review.  LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 00:04, 1 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Another interesting read on your journey of Federalist GAs—on hold. Over to you!  LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 16:25, 1 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
LunaEatsTuna I've addressed each of your notes. I've also added another image to the article–something I'd like to do with these articles whenever possible–though I'm wondering if there's a better image that could be added. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 21:12, 1 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks; looks good! I really like the current image you added as it adds a lot of context. I think such images are a good idea for the other articles as well. Passing per your changes implemented. P.S. I was waiting for you to get to this before I started on Federalist No. 4, which I will get too within the following day or so.  LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 22:59, 1 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Copyvio check

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Earwig says good to go. Only flags it gives are regarding the long title (The Same Subject Continued: Concerning Dangers from Foreign Force and Influence), so no concerns there.

File(s)

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The portrait of John Jay is of good quality, copyright-free and relevant to the article.

Prose

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  • "He explains that the most wars are caused by violations of treaties or acts of violence" – for personal clarification, is he arguing that the majority of all wars are caused in this way or that a lot of wars are?
  • "acts of violence, and he says" – he is not necessary here as it is mentioned at the start of the sentence; removing he also removes some redundancy from the rest of the paragraph.
  • "diplomatic incidents" sounds somewhat vague IMO. How about "diplomatic disputes", "diplomatic conflicts" etc, or does Jay refer to something vague himself?
  • Apologies for the pedantry, but the successive four sentences each begin with "[number], he argues" which gets quite redundant. Could you rephrase some of them? The last sentence is fine as it is unique enough since it concludes the paragraph.
  • I do not see a need to italicise powerful. If he did that himself for emphasis, add [Jay's italics] next to it.
  • I doubt we need to wikilink treaty (this goes for the lead as well).
  • Recommend wikilinking the British Empire and Spanish Empire. I reckon a number of readers would know little to nothing about these polities.

The rest is genuinely exceptionally well-written, and I could find no further concerns…

Refs

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Passes spotcheck on refs 1, 5 (cited four times) and 8 (also cited four times).

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.