Talk:Feedback (Janet Jackson song)/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

Here are my comments. The article is currently on hold, meaning that you have about a week to fix the problems outlined below.

  • Some of the prose is awkward, and I noticed some grammar and punctuation errors. I would strongly suggest performing (or asking WP:LOCE to do) a full, thorough copyedit.
  • The lead needs to be expanded to fully summarize the article.
  • Some information is missing from the article. The following sections would encompass what's missing. (for a good example, look at The Sweet Escape (song).
    • Background and writing (who wrote it, how the idea was conceived, etc.)
    • Expansion of the "Music and lyrics" section (analysis of the lyrics—not criticism; that belongs in the criticism section—the chords, the style, etc.)
    • The Critical reception section could do with more reviews and commentary.
    • A section describing the chart performance would be good, but not necessary.
    • It should have a "Personnel" section.
  • In the Music video section, the references all shouldn't be at the end unless they're all referencing the last statement. References should come after the sentence that they reference.
  • References usually belong after punctuation, at the end of a sentence. There were many references in the middle of sentences; they should be moved to the end of sentences in most cases. (WP:REF)
  • I have added {{fact}} tags to all statements needing references.
  • Was there any negative feedback on the song? I would suggest reading through reviews for the song, and finding an acceptable proportion of positive to negative reviews to quote in the critical feedback section.

I hope that this is helpful. Keilana|Parlez ici 18:47, 19 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

What I've done so far[edit]

  • Resolved fact tags
  • Put all sources at end of sentances - Sources all come after the punctuation
  • Sorted the sources for the "Music Video" section
  • Expanded both the "Critical" and "Commercial" sections
  • Done "Personnel"
  • Article copy edited by a former member of the Copy edit league
  • Lead expanded

This looks good, I'll be passing the article shortly. Excellent work. Keilana|Parlez ici 05:16, 20 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thankyou, you did a great review, great advise. Yay, my first GA in what feels like ages. :-) — Realist2 (Come Speak To Me) 05:19, 20 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
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