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Talk:Fleur's Place

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Some thoughts

[edit]

Regarding tone, I'd look through the adjectives used and either delete (some of) them, or use direct quotations from sources. Regarding structure, I think it would be more useful to give a chronological order. Please ping me once you've dealt with this feedback, and I shall have another look. Schwede66 23:37, 22 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Re tone, if "She moved to Moeraki, planning to enjoy the quiet seaside village in retirement" just said "She retired and moved to Moeraki", it would sound more encyclopedic and less journalistic. Nurg (talk) 03:47, 23 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@Schwede6: how does it look now? Nauseous Man (talk) 05:54, 1 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]