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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk · contribs) 20:49, 8 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Prose[edit]

  • Citations in lead are unnecessary
  • Too many short paragraphs
  • Many duplicate links
  • Don't put a space between a citation and the previous period
  • Please use British English or American English, not both.
  • First sentence in lead does not should neutral.
  • Last two paragraphs in the lead are just three quotes.--Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk) 21:11, 8 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Referencing[edit]

  • Needs a lot more citations for unsourced facts
  • Is citation #22 reliable?
  • Two dead links.

All for now--Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk) 20:49, 8 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Tomandjerry211 (alt): Thanks for the review. I made a number of changes in light of your comments, and have a couple of questions:
  • I rewrote the first paragraph of the lead section, so it should be OK now. Yes, the second and third paragraphs are quotes, but I don't know where to include them other than the lead section. Why are citations unnecessary in the lead?
  • The lead should contain information mentioned in the body of the article, so the stuff in the lead is cited in the body. If that's not the case, the lead should be rewritten.--Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk) 14:04, 9 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • I also merged a number of the paragraphs, and added some more content here and there. I removed one space between a period and a citation (if there are more I must have missed them). The article is written in British English, which parts are in American English?
  • I removed citation #22 and replaced it with more reliable sources. What particular facts need a citation? Which are the dead links because I didn't find them after a quick look?
Xwejnusgozo (talk) 12:35, 9 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I added more citations, and changed the American English into British English. I'll work on the remaining missing citations and the lead section. Xwejnusgozo (talk) 18:29, 9 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comment from a passing editor: although normally leads don't need citations, direct quotes in the lead should be cited; the citations are currently correctly in place. Hchc2009 (talk) 16:56, 11 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I just rewrote the lead section, adding a summary of the main body. I still need to add the last few missing citations. Xwejnusgozo (talk) 14:08, 15 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
@Tomandjerry211 (alt): I added the remaining citations. Is the article OK now? Xwejnusgozo (talk) 11:23, 16 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Good to go.--Tomandjerry211 (alt) (talk) 11:54, 16 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]