Talk:Freaky Deaky (song)/GA1
GA Review[edit]
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 18:17, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
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Some tweaking is needed particularly in the copy. I would advise you to read the general suggestion below and look at your other pages, including other GANs, to fix it. There is a dodgy reference I'd excise and at least one additional ref needed to validate a claim. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 18:41, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
- Hi Sammi Brie! Thanks for the review, I'm gonna apply to your suggestions throught the next days. And as for the articles you mentions, yes, I struggle a little with them, since they do not exist in Polish, so it's not intuitive for me to use them, but I'm trying my best. infsai (talkie? UwU) 21:58, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
- So, I applied to some suggestions (I'm gonna check them bellow). Meaww was deleted from the article along informations taken from it; I'm gonna find a replacement for it in "Music video" soon. As for adding Tyga image, do you think that if I'll add a still from a music video where he is visible it'll be enough? And I'm sorry if I change some sentences of a "Music video" section in one of the next few edits, but it was something I wanted to do for some time, since the article was nominated 5 months ago, I've been constantly making some changes awaiting the review. I also added alt text to the cover art, can you check it if it's any good? infsai (talkie? UwU) 22:23, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Infsai For Tyga, we have enough existing freely licensed images to use. Maybe File:Tyga - Openair Frauenfeld 2019 07.jpg? Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 23:01, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
Copy changes[edit]
General suggestion, since I see English is not your first language, based on what I've reviewed: focus your writing improvement on articles like "the" and "an" that you sometimes lack where they are needed. Presumably they are less used in Polish? I know this can be an issue for English speakers learning Spanish, so I empathize. This issue takes up a lot of bullet points. There also has been a lot of time since the nomination so consider anything you see fit.}}
Lead[edit]
- The single crowned Rhythmic Airplay Chart missing "the"? This also occurs in the Performance section.
Background[edit]
- other artists songs missing an apostrophe
- Doja Cat, American artist which maybe Doja Cat, whom
- due to COVID-19 pandemic missing "the"
- "on-line" should be "online"
Composition/reception[edit]
- "pop-driven", "marketable hit", and "club anthem" add "a" before "club anthem"
- The second verse features "energetic" and "fierce" performance Missing "an" before "energetic"
- rappers previous missing an apostrophe
Performance[edit]
- It gradually fluctuated on the chart, and remained on it for a total of 16 weeks. This comma is not needed as the subject is the same on both sides. User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences
- You need three more articles, which I've bolded in this passage: The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) awarded the single with a gold certification for 500,000 sold units. In Canada, "Freaky Deaky" debuted at number 44 on the Canadian Hot 100, while on the Billboard Global 200 it entered at number 37.
- In Australia, the single entered ARIA Singles Chart "the" before ARIA
- In Australia, the single entered ARIA Singles Chart at number 29, becoming Tyga's first chart entry since "Haute"―which peaked at number 50 in June 2019―while for Doja Cat, it is her third song that became present on the chart this week, behind "Kiss Me More" (at number 24) and "Woman" (at number 28). This is a long sentence. Split it and reword the bolded section to something like it was her third song on the chart that week.
- "enlisted" does not have the meaning you want in English: try "listed"
- "Freaky Deaky" became Doja Cat's (left) seventh number one on Rhythmic Airplay Chart, which tied her up with Mariah Carey (right) on the fifth place of female musicians with the most number ones on the chart. Rewrite this caption; it's a bit clunky. Try "Freaky Deaky" became Doja Cat's (left) seventh number one on the Rhythmic Airplay Chart, tying her with Mariah Carey (right) for the fifth-most number-one songs on the chart among female musicians.
Music video[edit]
- 18-seconds long try "18-second-long"
- However due to COVID-19 pandemic, the shooting was cancelled. missing "the" before "COVID-19"
- About one and half year later Try the more idiomatic "About a year and a half later"
- The director decided to match the clip with the song lyrics, with the example being the scene of two performers in plastic boxes coming from line "Black Barbie, perfect and you gnarly", which reminded him of 1998 action comedy film Small Soldiers. This could use some rewording; I'm a bit lost here.
- @Infsai: Try this. He also imagined a "sexy cat-and-mouse game", with Doja Cat luring Tyga into her traps. Some of them were inspired by the song's lyrics; the line "Black Barbie, perfect and you gnarly" remind Breslauer of a sequence in the 1998 film Small Soldiers in which action figures burst from their plastic boxes. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 05:00, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
- he is riding through neon-lit city Add "a" before "neon-lit"
- Tyga plays a role of a The first "a" should be "the": the role of a
@Infsai: You need to locate a new source for Afterwards, the performers are in plastic packaging, with the visual concluding with Tyga being tied up by his company.
before this nomination can be passed. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 17:09, 14 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Infsai Are we any closer? Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 16:39, 23 August 2023 (UTC)
Sourcing and spot checks[edit]
I'm particularly concerned about ref 25 (Meaww). The site appears to be of rather low quality and is marked by User:Headbomb/unreliable as generally unreliable. Yet it is cited six times. Is there a replacement? I don't think I'd be comfortable passing this article without a new ref here.
- 7: three citations to the video from Capital Xtra.
- "I actually like met her back in 2014"
- Mention of a snowboard-type theme being considered before the pandemic set in
- 9: Billboard.
“Juicy” featuring Tyga. The success of the latter song led to Doja’s first Hot 100 chart entry
Partial verification, but I will need another ref, probably a chart, for the #41 showing in February 2020.
- 10:
Tyga told Lowe, “She’s a true artist. And I think we see that from her outfits, her Lives, her TikToks, but that’s what makes her her and she’s a real true artist and that’s what I appreciate about her.
- 22: WDR review in German. The link is dead and should be marked as url status dead. I did this because the March 2022 archive also seems to have failed, though it was rearchived successfully on September 29. I don't speak German but I have run this through Google Translate. It checks out.
consists of a very catchy melody, but overall the instrumental remains rather calm.
"Freaky Deaky" is even sexier than "Juicy".
the accompanying music video is almost reminiscent of a sex tape, complete with leather outfits and whips
- 36: OCC chart history for Doja Cat. It's the 16th entry on the page, though five previous were not top 40 (peaking at 41 or below).
- 55: Hot R&B/Hip-Hop chart listing for Tyga. Peaked at #11 on March 12, 2022.
No other textual issues with sourcing.
Images[edit]
Cover art has an NFUR. Two CC-licensed images are used. Encouragement: Add alt text, mostly to describe the appearance of the cover art. An image of Tyga may also be desirable.