Talk:George Kistiakowsky/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Peacemaker67 (talk · contribs) 10:26, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get started on this shortly. Peacemaker67 (send... over) 10:26, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
2c. it contains no original research.
3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
7. Overall assessment. All points addressed - Promoted

Comments

  • the article links to several dab pages [1]
  • alt text needed on some images (not a GA requirement) per [2]
  • all other toolbox checks are green. (no action required)
  • development of shaped charges
  • Hugh Stott Taylor , needs to lose the space before the comma
  • and gamegave him
  • He became an associate professor twice, might be worth clarifying the second time was at Harvard
  • tapped - suggest a little informal, perhaps "selected" or "recruited"
  • Spring → spring
  • was into RDX
  • "The challenge was to produce an industrial process that could produce it on a large scale", suggest substituting the first "produce" with "develop"
  • andwhich was widely used in torpedoes
  • calling outthat demanded forfurther investigation
  • suggest you explain a little more about the Chapman–Jouguet model, perhaps "the Chapman–Jouguet model of detonation velocity"?
  • The first para of the Manhatten Project subsection starts in 1944 then goes back to 1943. Suggest you put it in chronological order to show how he became involved
  • "Kistiakowsky watched the as the" not sure if a word is missing or extra
  • He sent Kistiakowsky, in early November 1960, to the SAC Headquarters in Omaha to evaluate the SAC war plans → In early November 1960, he sent Kistiakowsky to the SAC Headquarters in Omaha to evaluate the SAC war plans
  • The orders gave SAC officers the choice to cooperate with Kistiakowsky, do you mean they had no choice? Unclear.
  • fn's 13 & 23, pp→p
  • his name is unnecessarily bolded in the Refs (Dainton)
  • physics should probably have an initial capital in the infobox
  • The file File:George Kistiakowsky ID badge.png just needs its PD licence tweaked over at Commons to fix a syntax error
  • there are three overlinks, Physical chemistry, Manhattan Project and American Chemical Society

That's it, placing on hold for seven days for the above to be addressed. Peacemaker67 (send... over) 12:00, 24 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]