Talk:George McTurnan Kahin/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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I will be undertaking this review. This article, about an interesting and important figure in south-east Asian international relations, appears stable and neutral. The only image in use is copyrighted. A non-free use rationale has been supplied. It appears in order. I am uncertain as to whether the image is sufficiently low-resolution to meet the policy. I did some searching of relevant guideline pages but did not notice a specific figure being mentioned. In other respects, the image appears to comply with WP's policies. I found one example where the paraphrasing of a source was too close to the original: see Wikipedia:Close paraphrasing. I have altered it. My initial checks have not revealed other such problems, but if the main contributor could check, that would be good.

Specific points[edit]

Overlinking: I don't think "American" needs to be linked in this context, and perhaps the "dissertation" link is not needed. Linking "memoir" is unnecessary too
The following sentence is cumbersome and unclear: "During the events following the takeover of Willard Straight Hall in April 1969, Cornell was at a divide between social justice in the teachings of the faculty and the academic freedom of its professors." First, the article gives no clue as to what the takover was, nor the events that followed it. This may be the result of being a non-American. I have never heard of this. It needs more explanation. Second, the phrase "was at a divide between" is not good English. Nor is "social justice in the teachings". I am uncertain what is meant by this last phrase: is it intended to mean "principles of social justice taught by faculty members"? Please clarify.
"the academia" is ungrammatical. I think just "academia" is needed here. I also would not bother to wikilink it.
I have done some other copyediting.
On death and legacy - it is customary to identify surviving family members - his wife is covered; were there any children?

Otherwise good. I will return to see how things are going. hamiltonstone (talk) 03:27, 17 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have delinked country names in prose and the items you mentioned. The paragraph on the Willard Straight Hall takeover has also been partially rewritten. I have never seen Kahin's children mentioned, so I'm not sure if he has any. I can check if his memoir mentions anything though. Arsonal (talk) 04:58, 17 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'd be grateful if you can check if there were children. However, the article meets GA criteria in my view, and I will pass it now. Thank you for your contributions here. Regards, hamiltonstone (talk) 02:43, 18 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]