Talk:Gigantomachy by the Suessula Painter
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Peer Review
[edit]I think the content you included was all relevant and necessary. However, since you only have the intro paragraph and description of the vase you could add another section going into the background of the Suessula Painter. Most of my notes are just sentence structure/grammatical suggestions to make things more clear: Intro paragraph:
I would just switch the order so you talk about the painter first and then go into the specific vase. "It was made..." -> This red-figure amphora was made...
Vase paragraph:
"Main and bigger register..." -> With the largest register being the only one decorated with mythological scenes... "The side A & B" -> sides A and B "Dionysus's one" -> Dionysus' chariot Herakles' leonte -> elaborate; what is this? "wearing attributes..." -> recognizable by their varying attributes are... 2nd to last sentence "char" instead of what I'm assuming is supposed to be chair "...Dioskouroi help them fight the giants" -> "... are also present and fighting the giants"
Last note: the bibliography and notes sections should be the same thing, as I am assuming the notes are also citations; if I am wrong just ignore this suggestion Carsonsisk (talk) 19:34, 5 November 2017 (UTC)Carson Sisk
Hi Roxanne!
I think that you've got a great start to the article here! My main critisim would be that some of the sentances are a little hard to follow, with an excessive number of dependent clauses, which make it hard to follow. For talking about the vase, you could just list off the figures from left to right, which might help with the confusing structure.
Keep up the good work! Robert Y. Rob6820 (talk) 00:17, 30 November 2017 (UTC)
Comments from Prof. Paga
[edit]Hi Roxane - this is a good start! In addition to the comments from your peer-reviewer and TF, here are a few suggestions of my own.
- See if you can find a copyright appropriate image, or consider including an image of a comparison vase (another vase with a Gigantomachy scene, for instance).
- Right now, all you have is a description of the vase. You should consider adding another section or two, perhaps discussing the role of Gigantomachy scenes in general. It's important to make sure your article connects back strongly to your group's theme of Warfare in Ancient Greek Art.
- Make sure to proofread carefully.
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