Talk:HMS Liberty (1913)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 05:00, 31 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

One of my articles is going through a featured article nomination right now, so I'll get to this as I have time. Hog Farm _Bacon 05:00, 31 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, here's a start. I'm not as much of an expert at ships as Peacemaker is, but I'll see what I can find.

Lead/Infobox

Add a short description
"HMS Liberty was a Laforey-class destroyer which served with the Royal Navy" - "which" just feels odd to me here
Link Admiralty
Can we get a link or some sort of context for what an alphabetical class destroyer is? It's hard to figure out what that phrase means from the text as its written.
"The vessel also played a minor role in the Battles of Dogger Bank, Dover Strait and Jutland," - It's gonna be best to make this "The vessel also played a minor role in the battles of Dogger Bank, Dover Strait, and Jutland,"
Link reserve and scrapped to the appropriate terms
I think there's an extraneous space in front of the horsepower measurement in the infobox
The range given in the infobox greatly varies from the one given in the prose.
"mounting P Mk. IX" - Unclear what this from the infobox means, and it's not cited anywhere in the prose, either.

Design and development

Twenty two should be twenty-two, unless that's a British English convention (it's always hyphenated in American English, not sure about BE)

Construction and career

Explicitly state the year WWI started. Then, you can simplify 26 August 1914 a sentence or two later to just 26 August, as you've introduced that the year is 1913.
"engaging withG194" - Lacking a space between words here
Do we know what ship(s) the wounded at Heligoland Bight were transferred to?
"At the end, after the wounded were transferred, Liberty was able to return to Harwich without assistance and was soon repaired" - Link Harwich to the applicable place article.
"The Flotilla was enable to keep sufficient speed to engage in the battle" - Do you mean unable instead of enable?
We go over a year between Dogger Bank and Jutland without any information about the ship's actions. What did it do in this time span, or at least, where was it stationed? Surely something in this time span is known.
"The destroyer, along with sisterships Landrail, Liberty and Lydiard" - Surely this is an error. I'm assuming the Liberty didn't have a sister ship with the same name active at the same time.
" shortly after three in the morning" - Per MOS:TIME, use either 3:00 a.m. or 03:00.
"In this case, the flotilla was in the centre of the action but again failed to engage the German battle fleet in the confusion of the battle" - Is a more specific why other than the fog of war known?
"Laurel was initially placed in reserve at Nore alongside over sixty other destroyers" - This article's about Liberty, so what happened to Laurel isn't really relevant. Is this a typo?
It's never explicitly stated in the prose that 5 November 1921 is the decommission date. Ships can be decommissioned before they are sold as scrap, so that can't be assumed to be the date

References

" December 1916 to April1917" - Missing a space here
Put the Corbett references in chronological order
Surely some of those other sources have OCLCs? Check worldcat

Illustrations

There may well be a PD image of Liberty online somewhere. It's worth a look
Is there a relevant map that can be used?

Nice work so far. I've give this one another look once these are done/replied to. Hog Farm _Bacon 04:44, 1 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. This is all really helpful. I have edited the article, including adding a relevant picture that I found on Commons. Can you please explain what you mean by a short description? Is my amendment to the lead enough? simongraham (talk) 01:11, 2 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Further comments

Ship breaking would probably be a better link for scrapped.
In the table, I feel like the heading should be Pennant number, not Pennant Number
I've made a few minor edits, I would appreciate it if you check them over. Hog Farm _Bacon 01:46, 2 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I like your edits very much. Thank you for your contributions and guidance. I have made a couple more changes based on your recommendations. simongraham (talk) 15:07, 2 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]