Talk:Hal Hunter (American football, born 1932)/GA1
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Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 13:15, 9 November 2017 (UTC)
- Lead
- "Hunter earned Associated Press Honorable Mention All-American honors his senior season in 1955." Seems to be missing a word; maybe "..honors for his senior season.."?
Done
- "Hunter was a coach at various high schools and colleges.." Probably worth clarifying he was a football coach.
Done
- "accumulating a record of 9–30–1." Explain what this notation means, probably using a note.
Done
- Early history
- "He was a three-year heavyweight in wrestling at Canonsburg, recording 18 pins with a total of 33 wins.." This could do with some wikilinks to explain the technical terms.
Done
- "Hunter also won three letters in track as a sprinter, shot putter, discus thrower and javelin thrower." I don't know if it is an WP:ENGVAR thing, but shot, discus and javelin are considered field events in "track and field" in the UK; is there a better term we can use (maybe athletics) than track?
Done
- I changed it to "track and field". WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 23:39, 9 November 2017 (UTC)
- Coaching career
- You use the phrase "He was then.." five times (including one in the lead), which is a bit repetitive.
Done
- References
- Change the details for ref #1 to show
|work=Denver Weekly
Done
- Change the details for ref #2 to show
|website=Washington-Greene County Chapter: Pennsylvania Sports Hall of Fame
Done
- Change the details for ref #3 to show
|publisher=Warlick Funeral Home
Done
- Ref #4 needs to show that it is subscription only, and could do with
|via=Newspapers.com
Done
- Ref #5 needs more details: publisher, year of publication, page number etc.
Done
- Ref #6, as ref #4.
Done
- Ref #7 needs a page number.
Done
- Ref #8 needs a page number.
Done
I'm going to stop there with the references. I would suggest you take these points on board, and check the rest yourself. Once you have done them all, I'll take another look over. Done
Overall, this is a pretty good article with just minor quibbles really. The referencing needs a bit of tidying, but nothing more than that. Nice work. Harrias talk 13:15, 9 November 2017 (UTC)
- I think I fixed everything. Thoughts? WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 23:44, 9 November 2017 (UTC)
- Great work, well done. Harrias talk 08:42, 10 November 2017 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 10:44, 10 November 2017 (UTC)
- Great work, well done. Harrias talk 08:42, 10 November 2017 (UTC)