Talk:Hiromi Iwasaki

Incorrect translations

Who is editing/writing the song translations on this page? Many are wildly incorrect. I understand using poetic license to translate some harder-to-understand concepts, but even simple titles are translated in a farfetched manner.

Some examples: さよならの挽歌 translated as "I'll say goodbye, for a better tomorrow", but that's not what it remotely translates to and is strongly employing poetic license where it is not needed. Here a simple translation would be correct and appropriate, such as "Goodbye elegy" or "The elegy of a goodbye".

思秋期, translated as "Praying for the Fall", but this word is a play on 思春期 which means "adolescence". The word for "adolescence" uses the symbolic aspect of a time period which is like the springtime of one's mind. The title of this song is written as symbolic of a time period which is like the autumn of one's mind. Thus, it would be more appropriate if translated similarly, such as "Growing older" or "Reaching maturity", etc.

愛の生命 translated as "Live And Love". Neither 愛 nor 生命 are verbs here, but nouns; so, they should not be translated into imperative verb forms. Additionally, the title is not in need of a complicated poetic translation as has been given. Something more appropriate would be "The life of love".

胸さわぎ translated as "Butterfly". This is entirely incorrect as the word has nothing to do with butterflies, instead it literally means "a cry from the heart", which is more properly translatable as "Apprehension". Perhaps one could adopt the English idiom for the apprehension typically felt in situations of romantic feelings, i.e. "Feeling butterflies". However, if so, then "feeling" must be included in the translation as the idiom will be incomplete without the verb.

れんげ草の恋 translated as "Love The Grass Lotuses", but the song title is not giving a command. A correct translation would be "(A) Lotus-grass love" or perhaps less flatteringly "Milkvetch love" as the love either belongs to the lotus-grass/milkvetch or is described by it.

思い出さないで translated as "You Can't Recall". The Japanese verb form here has nothing to do with one's ability or lack thereof, instead this is a command form. The more proper translation should be "Don't remember!" or perhaps "Don't look back!" if one is going for something slightly more poetic.

家路 translated as "Home". This is not just referring to home itself though, this is describing the journey home as the symbolic aspect of a road is specifically mentioned as part of the noun. "The road home" would be a more apt translation.

20の恋 translated as "Love20". The translation has oversimplified the overall meaning. The song is pronounced 20 (はたち) の恋 and is even written as such on the song's album art. The pronunciation of 20 as はたち is only ever used in reference to age 20, the age of majority in Japan, i.e. when one is considered to have become an adult. It is quite a special age culturally. So, a more apt translation would be something like "Love at 20 years old".

決心 translated as "Decided". 決心, however, is a noun; so, "Decision" would be more appropriate.

25時の愛の歌 translated as "Love Song On 25". There is an oversimplification of the translation as it ignores the word after 25 which means "hour, o'clock". A more correct translation would be something like "Love song of the 25th hour" or "25 o'clock love song".

最初の恋人達 translated as "The First Lover". It is very important not to ignore when Japanese pluralizes a noun with 達, as normally, the language does not do so. So, if a pluralizing marker is particularly written out onto a word, then it is very much intended to be translated as such. More correctly, this translation should be "First lovers" as the song is referencing more than one lover.

始まりの詩、あなたへ translated as "A Poem Just for You". This is slightly simplified as it is ignoring the first word 始まり and its relation to the word it is modifying 詩. 始まり means the beginning, start, or even the first of something. A more fitting translation would be "The first poem for you".

時の針 translated as "Stylus of Time". "Stylus" is a very odd and overcomplicated poeticism of translation. This should be translated with a simpler word for what 針 means, which is "needle, pin". Being translated as "Time's needle" or "The needle of time" would be much less overwrought.

好きだなんて言えなかった translated as "I Really Can't Say I Love You". Perhaps I am being nitpicky here, but I do believe that we should be faithful to the verb tense here, which is past tense, not present tense. Thus, "I really couldn't say 'I love you'" would be a better fit for that purpose.

Those are the examples I have given here, but there are others. I just find the unlisted others to be more fastidiously scrutinizing and also less egregious. What do others think? 2604:3D09:67C:9400:482F:C575:1E2A:66C8 (talk) 22:53, 11 January 2024 (UTC)