Talk:Hurricane Debby (2000)/GA1

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Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 00:28, 26 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, GeorgeC. I'll be reviewing this article for you very shortly. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 00:28, 26 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Favorable conditions allowed the depression to become Tropical Storm Debby early on August 20 and further strengthening into a hurricane occurred 24 hours later." - When you have two independent clauses, meaning they can stand alone, you need a comma. So, insert one after "August 20".
  • The sentences in the first paragraph of the lede are really "choppy". Some elaborating/more detail would probably help.
  • Can you be more specific, I'm not quite sure why it is "really 'choppy'"?--12george1 (talk) 19:27, 26 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Effects were most severe in Puerto Rico, where some areas experienced more than 12 inches (300 mm) of rainfall." - Some areas is pretty poor wording. I'd go with "isolated locations".
  • "At 406 homes on the island were flooded, which five suffering at least moderate damage." - Missing a word at the beginning?
  • Err, I actually made two grammar errors there.--12george1 (talk) 19:27, 26 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "According to the Civil Defense Force of Dominican Republic, severe flooding in the northern portions of that country caused the evacuation of more than 700 people." - That to the.
  • It could be either way, but I guess I will go with your suggestion.--12george1 (talk) 19:27, 26 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Losses in Dominican Republic were about $35,000" --> "Overall, the storm caused roughly $35,000 in damage across the island." or some variation of that.
  • "In Haiti, squalls tore tin roofs off of numerous shanty homes and subsequently flooded a few." - Link squalls.
  • "Rainfall in Cuba brought relief to an 8 month long drought impacting the region." - Hyphen between 8 and month.
  • "A strong tropical wave [e]merged into the Atlantic Ocean from the west coast of Africa on August 16." - The tropical wave became part of the ocean?!
  • "However, Dvorak classifications could not be initiated due to insignificant convective banding." - Could not states that it was physically impossible, which isn't true. How about "were not"?
  • Man, I surprised you didn't ask "Can you fix this"? :P --12george1 (talk) 05:00, 29 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It then began to gradually organize while moving westward at about 17 mph (27 km/h)" - Any reason why? A decrease in wind shear, warmer SSTs, etc. Also, never, ever "at about". Let's use roughly or approximately.
  • Nope, no explanation, but I did fix "at about".--12george1 (talk) 05:00, 29 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "By late on August 19, convection had consolidated around a well-define center of circulation." - Missing a letter.
  • "In the initial advisory by the National Hurricane Center, the agency noted a large area of convection, weak vertical wind shear, warm sea surface temperatures (SST's), all of which produced a favorable environment for intensification." - No need for an apostrophe in SSTs...it's not possessive.
  • "Late on August 20, the center of circulation was difficult to locate due to re-organization of convection." - In the previous sentence it's 00Z, which is already pretty late. I'd reword to..."After classification, the center of circulation was difficult to locate due to the re-organization of convection."
  • This is just a general note for the article. Try to limit the use of the word "had"...expand your vocabulary!
  • "Despite reconnaissance aircraft flight reports of sustained winds ranging from 92 to 101 mph (148 to 163 km/h),[6] Six hours later, the storm reached its maximum sustained wind speed of 85 mph (140 km/h)." - I'd reword this.
  • Oh, it's a sentence I forgot to finish.--12george1 (talk) 05:00, 29 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Hurricane force winds were very concentrated, extending only 25 miles (40 km) from the storm's center of circulation." - Dash/hyphen between hurricane and force.
  • "It made a third landfall in Virgin Gorda 75 mph (120 km/h), at 1500 UTC on August 22." - Missing some words.
  • "Early on August 23, computer models varied extensively with the Geophysical Fluid Dynamics Laboratory (GDFL) model, regarded by the National Hurricane Center as an "extreme outlier", predicted a 926 mbar (27.3 inHg) low pressure area over the Florida Keys on August 26." - Comma after extensively. predicted --> depicting.
  • "Beginning late on August 23, it was predicted that Debby would re-strengthen, as SST's were between 84 and 86 °F (29 and 30 °C) and the storm was anticipated to resume the original west-northwest movement, reducing land interaction." - No apostrophe for SSTs.
  • "However, Debby curved westward and continued to become increasingly disorganized, with the low-level circulation being displaced well west of the main deep convective area." - Was there only one deep convective area? If so, comma after main.
  • "The National Hurricane Center continued to predict re-intensification, but noting the potential for degeneration into a tropical wave during the next few days in its advisory at 0900 UTC on August 24, due to persistent wind shear." - Noting to noted.
  • "In addition to the other preparations in the Greater and Lesser Antilles, many tropical cyclone warnings and watches were posted" - Any other way to say this without saying "the other"?
  • "The other" way would be to say it like to "I'm just gonna totally reword that sentence and say "In addition, many tropical cyclone warnings and watches were posted in the Greater and Lesser Antilles." :P --12george1 (talk) 05:00, 29 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "At 2100 UTC on August 20, a hurricane watch was Sint Maarten, Saba, and Sint Eustatius, while there was a tropical storm watch for Antigua, Barbuda, and Anguilla." - Missing word(s)?
  • "Florida declared a state of emergency for the Florida Keys, even though the hurricane was still far from Florida[18]" - Missing a period.
  • Wow, I thought you were going to tell me to cut down on the use of "Florida" :P --12george1 (talk) 05:00, 29 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Non-residents in Monroe County were forced to leave, causing a significant reduction in the tourism for that year." - I personally know what year, but what year?
  • I believe it was 3671, but I need to find a source for that :P --12george1 (talk) 05:00, 29 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "For a period of time, forecasters predicted Debby to approach the Florida Keys as a Category 2 hurricane, while the GDFL predicted a much more intense Debby near the Florida Keys as a Category 4 hurricane with a minimum central pressure of 926 mbar (27.3 inHg).[11]" - Why is this relevant to the Preparations section?
  • Not totally sure (it was there when I started working on this article and I left it there), but it probably has something to do with the evacuations and state of emergency in the Florida Keys.--12george1 (talk) 05:00, 29 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Debby was attributed to about $735,000 in damage and 1 indirect fatality, which occurred in Puerto Rico." - You could elaborate on how that person died.
  • "Since 1995, the region was impacted by several tropical cyclones, including Hurricanes Luis and Marilyn in 1995, Hurricanes Bertha and Hortense in 1996, Hurricane Erika in 1997, Hurricane Georges in 1998, and Hurricanes Jose and Lenny in 1999.[20]" - Why is this sentence relevant to the Impact section?
  • Well, it is kinda interesting to have all those tropical cyclones in succession. However, "interesting" could also mean "trivial" so I removed it.--12george1 (talk) 05:00, 29 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Some trees were destroyed and electrical poles and power lines were downed." - Comma after destroyed.
  • "But most of the island territory only received 3 inches (7.62 mm) of rain." - But is a not-so-good way to start a sentence. Change "but" to "however," and use a semicolon to combine it to the previous sentence.
  • "Another measurement of rain that was nearly as high as that was 12.16 inches (31 mm) near Cayey, though there were unofficial reports of 17 inches (43 mm) of rain in the interior mountains." --> "Additionally, 12.16 inches (31 mm) of precipitation was recorded near Cayey, though there were unofficial reports of 17 inches (43 mm) in the interior mountains of the region."
  • "Three of the five houses were wooden and the other two being constructed out of concrete." - Why is that important?

Good otherwise. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 22:46, 27 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I've taken all other comments on the article up with you in IRC. I don't see anything else wrong with the article, so I'm passing it. It's now my duty to encourage you to review a GAN yourself! =P TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 00:22, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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