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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Keilana (talk · contribs) 14:12, 18 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! I'm reviewing your article today, but it may take me until the weekend to post it because I review on paper and then type reviews up. Please be patient, I promise there will be a good review on the other end. I look forward to reading your work! Keilana|Parlez ici 14:12, 18 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

To curious folk: I have reviewed the article and am waiting for a response from Jeffrey regarding copyediting. I'm not being lazy, I promise! Keilana|Parlez ici 04:46, 29 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]


All right, since Jeffrey seems to be inactive, here's what I've done. I've done an extensive copyedit on the article, and I'm failing the article; however, I'm going to leave preliminary comments here and if anyone from the project (or really anyone) wants to take them on, I'd be pleased to pass the article once everything's taken care of. Sound good? Keilana|Parlez ici

Lead

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  • "It is the second most intense hurricane ever observed in the Atlantic basin behind only Hurricane Wilma of the extremely active 2005 Atlantic hurricane season." is awkward.
  • Does "later that day" refer to September 13?
  • "over the course of its path" is awkward.

Meteorological history

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  • Is the whole first paragraph cited to source #2?
  • "classified it as the twelfth tropical depression of the annual hurricane season using the Dvorak technique" and "toward the west-northwest" are awkward.
  • "it gained enough strength to be designated as Tropical Storm Gilbert" is clunky.
  • Is there a better word instead of "emerging" in "emerging from the coast of Jamaica"? This puts amusing images in my head.
  • Is "extreme intensification" a scientific term?
  • "having intensified by 72 mbar in a space of 24 hours" is weird.
  • The sentence beginning "Gilbert made landfall for a second time on the island of Cozumel" is the longest sentence ever.
  • "making it the first Category 5 to make landfall" is repetitive.

Preparations

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  • "alongside a hurricane watch for the Barahona Peninsula" is awkward.
  • "and the southern coast of Cuba east of Cabo Cruz" is awkward.
  • Why isn't the stuff about Haiti with the stuff about the Dominican Republic?
  • The last paragraph of this is very choppy.

Impact

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  • In the table, do the sources say damage estimates for Guatemala, Honduras, Costa Rica, and Nicaragua are unknown? Or are there no sources for these countries?
  • The total damage in the prose could do with a citation.
  • Why was it not later confirmed that Gilbert was the costliest Atlantic hurricane? Is there a source that talks about this?

Eastern Caribbean and Venezuela

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  • Specify the country for Hewanorra Int'l Airport.
  • What nationality were the six fishermen who went missing in the Lesser Antilles?
  • Are there sources for the US Virgin Islands and British Virgin Islands stuff?
  • Specify where the damage was estimated at $3 million.
  • The 'sentence' "A combined and confirmed death toll of seven dead from the Dominican Republic and Venezeula" needs a rewrite. At the very least, it needs a verb. Those are nice.

Hispaniola

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  • How long was the blackout in Santo Domingo?
  • Is there a more specific estimate for loss in the Dominican Republic?
  • It needs a more specific location for where in the south the casualties were. This also needs a citation.
  • Were any other locations damaged by waves?

Jamaica

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  • The sentence "About 45 people died" needs to be specific (shouldn't be hard to figure out *exactly* how many died) and better integrated, as it's choppy.
  • The bit about mudslides needs more specificity and a rewrite. The phrase "reported to be fine" is unencyclopedic, I feel.
  • Specify when and why no planes were flying in or out of Kingston.
  • The caption for the destroyed buildings needs a location, if possible.
  • Is there an official estimate/count for how many died?
  • Who estimated property damage and was there an official estimate? This also needs a citation.
  • Is there a source for the 100,000 houses destroyed?

Cayman Islands

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  • The storm surge thing needs to be cited.
  • It needs a more specific estimate of the losses in the Cayman Islands, if possible.

Central America and Mexico

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  • The Honduras information needs a citation.
  • Also, is there an estimate for monetary damage in Honduras?
  • Is there more detail on Belize?
  • Were 35,000 left homeless in the Yucatan, or in Mexico as a whole?
  • Is there a more accurate estimate of damage than a 1 billion dollar range?
  • The paragraph beginning "As Gilbert lashed" is choppy and needs work.
  • Is there a more accurate number than "more than 60 people" for the Mexico death toll?
  • The bus thing needs clarification.
  • The sentence "Among these were a paramedic and a pregnant woman who died when a Mexican Red Cross ambulance fell into a flooded arroyo near Los Chorros after a bridge collapsed." is awkward.
  • How many tornadoes did it spawn?

United States

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  • What is a killer tornado and is that necessary to have in the article?
  • Is "major disaster" a specific governmental term? Also, who declared the disaster, and was it in response to the tornadoes, storm surge, or both?

Aftermath

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  • Specify in what way it is the "worst" hurricane - in terms of death toll? Some other metric?
  • "Gilbert was the worst hurricane in the history of Jamaica and the most destructive tropical cyclone on record to strike Mexico." needs a citation.

Records

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Thanks to whoever decides to pick this up. If and when you take care of all of these issues, just leave me a note on my talk page and I'll take another look. Keilana|Parlez ici 18:35, 13 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]