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Talk:Iced Out Audemars/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 10:52, 19 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will review this soon, per your request... a bit ironic since I originally nominated it for deletion. --K. Peake 10:52, 19 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

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  • Infobox looks good!
  • The remix release sentence should be swapped with the drill and lyrics sentence for the correct order; you can have the final para dedicated to the remix
  • "A remix that" → "A remix of the song that"
  • "Musically a drill track, the lyrics" → "A drill track, the lyrics"
  • "finer things in life and expressing their love for Dior and" → "finer things and expressing their love for Dior, among"
  • Remove the chorus and outro parts, as this is too specific for the lead

Background and release

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  • "known their real names" → "known under their respective real names of"
  • "Khadafi Julio. It was written alongside" → "Khadafi Julio, alongside"
  • Remove repetition of Khadafi Julio under writing credits
  • Why is the additional producer not mentioned here and in the lead? Bare in mind, it's not like the infobox where you can't add them.
  • "debut deluxe studio album," → "debut studio album"
  • Remove release year in brackets, as it is specified later on in the sentence
  • Introduce Lil Wayne as being a rapper

Music and lyrics

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  • "during the chorus" → "during both the chorus" with the pipe
  • "He pays homage to" → "Lil Wayne pays homage to" but this should start a new para in the section, as it and the following sentences total up to four
  • "we gone tomorrow"." → "we gone tomorrow."" per MOS:QUOTE on full quotes
  • Pipe Wu-Tang to Wu-Tang Clan
  • Pipe pitched to Pitch (music)

Critical reception

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  • "[Pop Smoke]] would" → "[Pop Smoke] would"
  • "Complex's Jessica McKinney opined that" → "McKinney opined that"
  • "while The Fader's Jordan Darville wrote that Lil Wayne added" → "while Darville wrote the rapper contributes" to avoid overusing his stage name
  • "Jon Powell for Revolt commented that Lil Wayne" → "Jon Powell, for Revolt, commented that he"
  • "and said "New York's" → "and said that "New York's"

Credits and personnel

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  • Pipe Bashar Jackson to Pop Smoke
  • Swap featured artist and songwriter
  • Swap songwriting and programming

References

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  • Copyvio score looks very good at 23.7%!
  • Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
  • HypeBeastHypebeast on ref 12

Final comments and verdict

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Kyle Peake thanks a lot for the review. Only a few more articles to go! The Ultimate Boss (talk) 20:44, 19 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The Ultimate Boss  Pass now and there were some mistakes but they were not the changes themselves being missed so I copyedited the fixes in, plus good luck with the GT! --K. Peake 21:57, 19 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]