Talk:Indigenous conflicts on the Mexico–United States barrier

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I left a peer review here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Katey.P/Indigenous_Land_Conflicts_on_the_Mexico–United_States_Barrier/Miaonl_Peer_Review --Miaonl (talk) 20:27, 24 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment[edit]

This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 24 August 2020 and 11 December 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Katey.P. Peer reviewers: Miaonl, Kardon99.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 22:56, 17 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Peer review/feedback[edit]

This is a very well-researched article whose overall structure looks sound. I want to share some areas of concern and suggested improvement as you work on editing and completing it. The first is particularly important to work through before you move the article to main space.

  • The lead needs to be significantly restructured to feel more encyclopedic and less like an essay. I would cut (or move to a background section below) the sentences from "Before borders were erected … the negotiations and conversations." This is because these factors strictly predate the barrier. Instead, I would suggest sentences that indicate that after 1992, the United States moved to build fences, walls, and deploy large numbers of Border patrol forces to the US-Mexico border. The first or second sentence should also include a link to Mexico–United States barrier (whether or not you use that hprase in your text.
  • "With the establishment of the border"; technically the border was established with the Gadsen purchase, so the word "establishment" doesn't work here.
  • The history section should have a third subheading and section below it that describes the actual border wall building and militarization.
  • "Tribal Nations' Borders": This should explicitly name either the whole list or the number by state of indigenous peoples affected by the border.
  • Regarding the protests, my main concern is extending the coverage back in time before 2020.

One additional source I highly recommend is:

  • Kowalski, Joseph (2017). "Imaginary Lines, Real Consequences: The Effect of the Militarization of the United States-Mexico Border on Indigenous Peoples". American Indian Law Journal. 5 (2): 6.

This handbook also looks useful.

Thanks for your hard work.--Carwil (talk) 03:38, 6 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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