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Talk:Jack Meets Dennis/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Gary King (talk) 18:41, 18 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • "takes back her sleazy ex-boyfriend Dennis Duffy (Winters), Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) takes" – missing a word
  • ""normal" and Jenna Maroney" – Comma before "and", as I'm assuming Tracy isn't enraged because of Jenna as well.
    • Added comma and no Tracy isn't enraged because of Jenna.
  • "high class" isn't a noun I believe, which is how it's currently being used
    • Do you have a suggestion?
  • Liz declined Jack's invite to Stone but still went there herself? Please explain.
    • No, she doesn't want him to be her mentor, but does accept to go to the restaurant.
  • "At lunch, Liz" – "At lunch the next day, Liz" – or something like that
    • Done.
  • "the reliability of" – reliability refers to what? I thought Dennis was reliable enough to remember her birthday.
    • Well, that was there when I first worked on this article. Liz is embarrassed by Dennis. This is what she tells Jack, "Because he wears shirts with the Looney Tunes embroidered on them. Because he cuts his own hair. Because that one little nice thing that he does, doesn’t make up for the fact that I don’t want to be seen with him in public."
  • "being like the rat king himself" – this "expression" definitely needs some context. If no context is provided, it would be considered pretty unencyclopedic prose.
    • Removed, just left motivated, cause he did motivate her to end it with him. Also, as a gift, Dennis gave Liz a rat or something, and Dennis refers to himself as "The Beeper King".
  • "to cut him off completely" – explain? Hopefully murder is not suggested here :)
    • No, not murder him, but just to break it off with Dennis.
  • "after a New York Islanders loss" – I know what the Islanders are, but perhaps some context is needed here. Like "his favorite hockey team, the New York Islanders", etc.
    • Done. I was gonna add that, but it didn't want to go "overboard" with it.

Okay that's all from the first paragraph of Plot. There are similar context-related issues throughout the article. I am familiar with the show, but have probably only seen one or two episodes, so I think this is a good way for the article to improve enough so that a non-viewer would still be able to understand the article with little effort. Gary King (talk) 18:41, 18 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'll try to look over the article and see what I can fix and stuff. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 00:09, 19 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Okay passing Gary King (talk) 02:54, 19 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

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