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GA Review

[edit]

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Reviewer: Edwininlondon (talk · contribs) 13:36, 24 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

With the caveats that I am not a native speaker and not a music expert I am happy to review this against the GA criteria as part of WikiProject Women in Green. Edwininlondon (talk) 13:36, 24 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

This looks in pretty good shape and will not take long. Nice piece of work! Just a few comments:

  • at that time --> I don't think we need this
Agreed. Removed it. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 21:36, 25 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • acoustic-based songs --> is this general Acoustic music or do you mean acoustic guitar? Either way, add a link
Mentioned in the Irish Times reference but have reduced the sentence to just saying 'songs' as the 'acoustic-based' was unnecessary. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 21:36, 25 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Rhinebeck and Palenville. --> may I suggest you add this is in New York?
Done. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 21:36, 25 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • of The Felice Brothers fame --> I'm not so sure of this expression is the right voice for an encyclopedia
Removed the 'fame' part. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 21:36, 25 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • 'musical masterpieces' --> is there a reason why these are single quotes and all the others are in double quotes?
  • single "Lottery"; a punk-influenced song --> I would use a comma instead of a ;
  • At the time, this made her only the fifth --> I don't think we need ta the time, as anyone later would be number 6
  • "I Get No Joy"; the fourth single --> I would use a comma instead of a ;
  • May I suggest the 2019–2021: section starts with a link to the Jade Bird (album), using the main template?
Addressed all up to this point. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 22:04, 25 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • It was a bit of a surprise to end up on Jade Bird (album) page from the link "self-titled debut studio album". It would be better to find a way to use Jade Bird in the sentence and use that as link label.
  • 'a triumph' --> single quotes?
  • This was streamed on 29 May 2020. --> any chance of integrating this into the previous sentence?
Sorted, thanks. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 18:43, 26 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Bird also announced a return to touring, with a headline show at Shepherd's Bush Empire in March 2021 being planned --> did it happen?
No, sadly not. Due to a complete lack of sources about the tour and what happened with it, I've had to remove that. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 18:43, 26 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • separation of her parents, Bird comments --> I would break this very long sentence in 2 by replacing this , with an . I also question the use of the present tense here. Any specific reason?
  • the likes of --> is this the right tone for an encyclopedia?
  • Music Week states --> all previous comments were in past tense, why switch to present?
  • Rolling Stone described her vocals as "raw and robust" and describes --> same thing here, mix of past and present. Check rest of article as well.
  • 'gigantic and gravelly voice' --> single quotes?
Attempted to address all up to this point. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 19:19, 26 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • speaking about herself --> do we really need this?
Agree it's not needed so removed. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 19:20, 26 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would add: Laura Snapes, writing in the Guardian'...
Agreed. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 10:50, 27 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Bird avoids the use of co-writers, commenting on the matter "[wanting] --> I'm not sure this works well. Perhaps something simpler like: Bird avoids the use of co-writers. She once explained that "[wanting]
Reworded. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 10:50, 27 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • musicians, "I can never --> I feel a verb is missing here. Perhaps something along the lines of ".. musicians, stating "I can never
Verb added. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 10:50, 27 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • A quick Google search suggests she has a new EP out. Something to add?
Added a sentence and a ref. Also added to her discography. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 10:50, 27 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'll have a look at the sources and image rights later. Edwininlondon (talk) 16:23, 24 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much for the review! I will take a look later. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 10:56, 25 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
@Edwininlondon: - I've had a go at addressing all points thus far. Please let me know what else needs doing. :) Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 10:50, 27 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Great! All that is left for me is check the references, do a spot check. I checked image licenses, and they look fine. A few comments so far:
  • images need alt text
Sorted, thanks. Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 11:23, 4 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • in preview mode I get this error: Warning: Page using Template:Infobox musical artist with unknown parameter "background" (this message is shown only in preview).
I'm not really sure how to fix this. Is there anything irregular about the infobox? Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 11:23, 4 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I shall find some time tomorrow to do the spot check. Edwininlondon (talk) 21:58, 27 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  • Spot checks: 1, 5, 6, 13, 32, 33, 70, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89 all ok
  • #3 does not verify "where she lived until she was two".
  • #4 does not mention London, Germany, Bridgend,

Hopefully not too hard to fix. Edwininlondon (talk) 06:43, 28 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Edwininlondon: I've addressed both of these issues now, thanks Spiderone(Talk to Spider) 11:40, 4 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I believe the article now meets all the requirements for passing. Great work! Edwininlondon (talk) 17:35, 4 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]