Talk:Jeremiah Dwyer/GA1
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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 20:41, 8 June 2020 (UTC)
Criteria
[edit]4. Neutral ✓ Pass
6. Illustrations On hold - caption
Comments
[edit]1.
- This isn't a long article, so the lead doesn't have to be long. Maybe two or three more sentences?
Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:19, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
- "n 1850 his mother sold the farm" - Comma after 1850
Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:55, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
- " In 1871 Dwyer organized" - Comma after 1871
Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:55, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
- Link George H. Barbour to George Harrison Barbour.
Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:55, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
- "Dwyer associated with the Democratic party and was a Catholic" - Link Democratic Party and Catholic, also capitalize Party
Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:55, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
2.
- OCLCs where available
Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:45, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
3.
- "His father was born in 1800 and immigrated from Ireland to the United States when he was eighteen years old. He settled initially near Hartford, Connecticut.[4] He moved from Connecticut to Brooklyn two years later in 1820. There he was a contractor's superintendent for many years.[1] Sometime in the mid-1830s he met and married a young lady by the name of Mary O'Donell who was from his hometown in Ireland." - Some of this is relevant, some of this less so. For instance, that Mary O'Donell was his mother has already been established. I'm honestly not sure what the best way to handle this is, I'll defer to your judgment since you're more familiar with the subject matter.
Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:44, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
4.
5.
6.
- Consider changing the infobox caption to "Dwyer in 1903"
Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:58, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
7.
- "George Harrison Barbour, the vice president of Michigan Stove Company, gave Dwyer the idea to construct the World's Largest Stove for the 1893 Chicago World's Fair and had his plant superintendent William J. Keep design the mammoth Garland kitchen range that weighed 15 short tons (14 t).[23][24][25]" - Consider moving this up to where you first talk about the Michigan Stove Company
Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:16, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
Looks pretty good, gonna place this one on hold. Hog Farm (talk) 22:22, 8 June 2020 (UTC)
- @Hog Farm: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:19, 9 June 2020 (UTC)