Talk:Kangana Ranaut/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Dr. Blofeld (talk · contribs) 09:09, 2 June 2014 (UTC) Will review within next three days.♦ Dr. Blofeld 09:15, 2 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Lede

"initially aspired to a career in medicine" -Initially aspired to become a doctor, or intended to pursue a career.
You might mention a few of her costars in some of the films like "opposite xx in.
" A comic role in the 2011 box office hit Tanu Weds Manu proved to be a turning point in her career, though this was followed by a series of brief, glamorous roles in films that failed to propel her career forward" -Doesn't make sense. She had already won major awards, I don't see how this was a major turning point if it was followed by those roles.

Early life

"She was initially inclined " -initially intended to become
A tad too much quoting I think, "During a screening, one of the male actors went missing; Ranaut who had been "observing the character from a distance and had an idea about the dialogues and body language" played the part along with her original role of a woman" particularly I think you should paraphrase.
"Ranaut struggled with her meager earnings during this period, eating only "bread and aachar (pickle)";[9] her father offered to contribute financially, but she refused, later remarking " -awkward phrasing, try: "Ranaut struggled with her meager earnings during this period, eating only "bread and aachar (pickle)". As she refused her father's financial assistance, it led to a rift in their relationship which she later regretted" or something like that.
"Her decision to act in films deteriorated her relationship with her relatives;[5] her parents were "horrified", thinking that she would be exploited, her grandfather asked her to drop her surname, and they didn't correspond with her for several years." -same here, try to rephrase.

Career

Life in a metro and Dhaam Dhoom really should have the years by them. I don't think then you need to later say "released in 2008". I always prefer it when you say "In 2008, xxx starred in xxx."
"was getting stereotyped " -becoming stereotyped
I think you could remove some of the sugary quotes like "sparkling little gem".

Personal life

"Ranaut has maintained a strong connect" -connection?
"she ever had, but decided on an amicable split as she wasn't ready for marriage" -she had ever had, and how can one "decide on an amicable split", it's surely both of their decisions. perhaps "the couple split amicably".

Media

"Analysing Ranaut's career, the journlaist" -typo

References

Can you bluelink Sify or delink it?♦ Dr. Blofeld 07:36, 5 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

All done. Thanks for pointing out the errors. Much appreciated. :) -- KRIMUK90 ✉ 07:41, 5 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:

B. MoS compliance:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Certinaly adequate for GA but if you intend taking it to FA at some point I really think you need to cut back on the quotations, particularly the more sugary ones which aren't that informative, and paraphrase or remove a few to improve flow.♦ Dr. Blofeld 10:43, 5 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks a lot for the review Doctor! :) -- KRIMUK90 ✉ 10:52, 5 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, this is late, but thanks for the review, User:Dr. Blofeld! AB01 ^{I'M A POTATO} 11:32, 8 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]