Talk:Kim Clijsters/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review[edit]

GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 20:32, 8 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Shall spare the time to review this entry. MWright96 (talk) 20:32, 8 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Early life and background[edit]

  • "and her mother for giving her a gymnast's flexibility." - how about providing to avoid close reptition of the same word?
    • I don't think "providing" works since she's not literally providing something. I can't think of an alternative. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 20:27, 13 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]
      • Actually, changed it to "Clijsters credits her parents for giving her a footballer's legs and a gymnast's flexibility." Sportsfan77777 (talk) 04:19, 14 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • I tweaked the wording to avoid repetition of "giving." Fyunck(click) (talk) 21:59, 13 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "From then on, she became hooked on the sport." - informal; fixated is better

Junior career[edit]

  • "A year later, she then won the 12-and-under singles event at the same tournament." - "then" is redundant here
  • "finishing the season at career high rankings of world No. 11 in singles" - career-high

1997–99: Maiden WTA title, Newcomer of the Year[edit]

2000–02: French Open finalist, Tour champion[edit]

  • "in Germany near the end of the season." - near its conclusion.
    • I changed the former instance of "season" to "year" instead. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 20:27, 13 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

2003: World No. 1 in singles and doubles[edit]

  • "as the pair faced off eight times," - contested each other

Singles: Two Grand Slam finals, Tour Championship defense[edit]

  • "in part because top-ranked Serena Williams had not played on tour" - because the top-ranked
  • "and Henin's lengthy semifinal the previous day." - semifinal match

Doubles: French Open and Wimbledon titles[edit]

  • "Clijsters and Sugiyama defeated top seeds Ruano Pascual and Suarez in both finals" - defeated the top seeds
  • "but withdrew in the second round due to rain delaying Sugiyama's fourth round singles match several days." - for how many days exactly was the match delayed for?

2004–05: Extended injury absence, first Grand Slam singles title[edit]

Two-year hitatus[edit]

  • Wikilink exhibition to Exhibition game
  • "against Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi to test the new roof on Centre Court at Wimbledon." - I believe it should be made clear that the roof was retractable

2009–10: Start of second career, back-to-back US Open titles[edit]

  • "Clijsters tore a muscle in her foot," - which of Clijsters's foot was it?
  • "Clijsters planned a limited schedule for 2010 to keep her focus on her family and ended up playing just eleven tournaments" - retain a focus

2011–12: Australian Open champion, last reign at No. 1[edit]

  • "This title turned out to be the last of Clijsters's career." - try transpired
    • Changed to "This title would be the last of Clijsters's career". Sportsfan77777 (talk) 21:14, 13 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Then, as a result of an ankle injury suffered while dancing at a wedding in April," - right ankle injury
  • "Her hip and ankle both continued to trouble her for months after the tournament," - Both her right hip and left ankle

Fed Cup[edit]

  • "Each tie was played as best-of-five rubbers," - to the

Hopman Cup[edit]

  • "Clijsters participated in the Hopman Cup from 2001–04," - 2001–2004
    • It's the other one (2002–05 in the Fed Cup section) that is not consistent. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 20:27, 13 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "they finished tied for first with the United States and Italy in group that also featured France." - in a group

Olympics[edit]

  • "However, she had announced the before the year began that she did not intend to compete at the Games" - remove the first "the" in this section of text
  • Wikilink Belgium at the Olympics
  • Wikilink Rosmalen Grass Court Championships to 2012 UNICEF Open

Clijsters vs. Henin[edit]

  • Wikilink performance-enhancing drugs to Performance-enhancing substance
  • "The latest stage win Clijsters had at a major was in the semifinals of the 2001 French Open." - major competition
    • Since the four biggest events in tennis (Australian Open, French Open, Wimbledon, and US Open) are called "majors" (just like in golf), I'm not sure that changing it to "major competition" is the correct thing to do. The equivalent of "major" is "Grand Slam tournament," so that could also be used. Fyunck(click) (talk) 20:03, 13 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    • It's just "major", a synonym for "Grand Slam tournament". Sportsfan77777 (talk) 20:27, 13 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Exhibition matches[edit]

  • "the Diamond Games were revived as a WTA tournament with Clijsters serving as the tournament director." - reptition of "tournament"; try a similar neutral word
    • Changed former to "event".

Legacy[edit]

  • "and her three such titles are tied with Margaret Court for the most all-time." - the most of all-time.

Playing style[edit]

  • "Clijsters often kept points alive with her signature shot," - try to use a word more formal than "alive"
  • Wikilink forehand, backhand, volley and groundstroke to their respective articles for non-Tennis readers

Coaches[edit]

  • "during which she won the Fed Cup and finished runner-up at the 2001 French Open." - and finished the runner-up
  • "Clijsters won three more Grand Slam singles titles and regained the No. 1 ranking." - world No. 1 ranking.

Personal life[edit]

  • "The two of them met while Lynch was a member of Euphony Bree," - change the text in bold to The two met to make it slightly shorter
  • "she was in a longterm relationship with Australian tennis player Lleyton Hewitt." - long-term
  • "and made her popular among Australian tennis fans even after their split." - separation for variety

References[edit]

  • Reference 39 is lacking the author of the article
  • You need the page on which the story on Clijsters appears on and the author of the article in Reference 82
  • References 66, 83 and 222 are missing Agence France-Presse as the agency who provided the organisations with the story
  • Reference 107 is missing the author and Associated Press as the agency who provided The Washington Post with the article
  • Reference 152 should include Associated Press as the news wire who gave ESPN with the article
  • Reference 233 needs to show that it can only be assessed with a subscription

Nice job with re-writing Kim Clijsters' article. Does her career and person justice. Only minor quibbles are present in the article. MWright96 (talk) 18:26, 13 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks again, MWright96! I've addressed everything above. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 21:11, 13 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Kim_Clijsters/GA1&oldid=887708507"