Talk:Legends (play-by-mail game)/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:09, 16 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 19:33, 27 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Lee Vilenski, I think I've addressed your comments adequately below. Ready for a relook. Thanks! Airborne84 (talk) 01:03, 14 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Links

Prose

Lede

PBM) is a turn-based, fantasy role-playing game. It is a closed-ended, computer-moderated game with a medieval setting, currently published in English by Harlequin Games. - Jargon and WP:SEAOFBLUE issues with this. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:56, 11 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I modified this. Let me know if this works. Airborne84 (talk) 03:28, 12 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

owner of Midnight Games - who? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:56, 11 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not sure what you mean here. I don't think Jim Landes is notable enough for an article, but it seems encyclopedic to list the game developer. Airborne84 (talk) 03:28, 12 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I think you've missed the point somewhat. We've introduced Landes as an owner of "Midnight Games", but not said what "Midnight Games" is. Even if we said they were a developer or something we'd have less whiplash. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:32, 12 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I see now. Fair point. Addressed. Airborne84 (talk) 19:06, 12 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Demand by 1991 was "incredible".[1 - ^{[according to whom?]} 21:56, 11 March 2023 (UTC)

I wasn't sure the issue here, so I just paraphrased. Airborne84 (talk) 03:28, 12 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The point is, we need to say who said it was "incredible". It has dufferebt meaning if it's internal or not. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:34, 12 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed, thank you. Airborne84 (talk) 19:06, 12 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The lede in general struggles by being pretty jargon heavy. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:56, 11 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I made a few adjustments. Please let me know if this works.

Appreciate the review! I'll continue to work this in the coming days. Airborne84 (talk) 03:28, 12 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

General

"Play-by-mail genre" is such a wierd section head name. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:07, 11 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

It is consistent with the other PBM good article, Starweb, and the only PBM Featured Article, Hyborian War, as well as a few other PBM articles that have this context. I don't mind changing them all if you have a better name. But I'd rather keep them consistent. Airborne84 (talk) 03:37, 12 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Why is the play-by-mail concept covered in such depths here? I get commenting on it, but we've got a whole section not about the subject. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:07, 11 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

When I ran the Hyborian War Featured Article nomination, the editors asked for this context before promoting it. It follows Featured Article Criterion 1.b., "places the subject in context". So, although this is a GA nomination, it aims to follow the best example of the genre on Wikipedia. Airborne84 (talk) 03:37, 12 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I mean, there's a concept of what it is, and then there's a whole section that doesn't talk about the subject at all. I'm amazed this was how we wanted this implemented at FAC. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:35, 12 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The flow of the article is a bit off. For example, the development starts "The game is computer moderated, although in early versions certain special actions could be hand moderated.[27][h", before we actually go in on anything about how the game was created or anything. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:07, 11 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Agreed. Addressed, thanks. Airborne84 (talk) 00:50, 13 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

"vastly more complicated scenario" - when you state a quote, you need to say who said it. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:07, 11 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed, thank you. Airborne84 (talk) 03:42, 12 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

A few times we state things in the present tense, despite talking about an item that has been true for a while. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:07, 11 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I think I've addressed this. Please let me know if not. Airborne84 (talk) 01:03, 14 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Review meta comments

I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:33, 27 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.