Talk:Lynching of Robert Marshall

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Assigned Peer Review

Evie

The article looks great overall. I think the sections are pretty well fleshed out and the significance is especially interesting. I can’t believe no one has ever written a Wikipedia article on this!

The notes and references look great, and you have a ton of good sources. The footnote goes after the period, though!

Other than that, I have a few content/style things I’ll write below:

Oxford commas missing

When you say “three days earlier” in the Background, it might help to say earlier from when just because it isn’t clear right away that you’re talking about the date you mentioned up in the lead

You should decide if you’re going to type numbers numerically or write them out - you say “5” and then “one hundred and fifty”

The Background and Lynching sections could have stronger topic sentences so they stand stronger as their own paragraphs

“After being arrested, Marshall was meant to be brought to Price jail courthouse a three-car procession” - in a three-car procession? A little confusing

“gathered waiting for the cars procession” is a little confusing - maybe, gathered to wait for the car’s procession/ procession of cars?

“After the verdict, newspaper the Sun ran a front-page editorial headlined” - a local newspaper the Sun, or the newspaper

You definitely don’t have to, but I think you could add another sentence or two to the significance and say a little more about the impact locally/of this specific lynching (maybe elaborate on the “Last Lynching of the American West” idea)

Thank you very much for your feedback Evie! - I just removed "three days earlier" in the background section, which created the ambiguity and was not necessary. - I switched to all written down numbers - I corrected the various sentences that were confusing to you. Can you understand them better? MathiIde (talk) 15:50, 20 October 2021 (UTC) - As you suggested, I also developed the significance section, offering more information regarding the perception of the lynching in Carbon County specifically. MathiIde (talk) 14:19, 26 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Nick

In terms of changes, the biggest change would be to put the citation after the period. It just makes the text look much nicer and is the uniform style for Wikipedia articles. Content-wise I really loved reading about this because it focuses on a state that is not focused on in American history which is Utah and this incident with Marshall being the last lynching in the west I think adds to the significance of the topic. You do a terrific job of covering most of the critical information concerning the lynching particularly the background, aftermath, and significance sections. One thing I was confused about was the line "three deputies intervened and got Marshall on the ground." The questions this brings up is why were these three deputies involved in bringing Marshall to the ground? Were they assisting the rioters or were they supposed to intervene and protect Marshall. If that's the case how did the mob rush the deputies in order to hang Marshall for a second time? If those questions could be answered then I think that would add great clarity to the lynching section of the article.

Thank you very much for your feedback, Nick. -I corrected the mistake regarding citations. MathiIde (talk) 06:30, 26 October 2021 (UTC) -I changed some of the wording in the lynching section; The deputies did not assist the rioters, but arrived late at the scene, which is why they brought him to the ground only at that moment. I hope the rewording helps in understanding it that way(?). Unfortunately, I haven't found any source that explains why the rioters were able to hand Marshall a second time; however, given the size of the crowd (around 1,000 people), I believe the three deputies were just outnumbered and couldn't prevent the crowd from hanging Marshall a second time. MathiIde (talk) 14:19, 26 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Josh

This is a strongly worded and well-written article, the pictures are well used, and the citations and references are well constructed.

I'm gonna list some specific suggestions to improve this.

-I think the lede section is worded great, but I think there should be a link for the word "itinerant" as I did not know what this was and seems like a not commonly used word, and there's a Wikipedia page for this.

Background section: - I think "ended up looking for him" could be reworded, to something like "One hundred and fifty men were organized to search for him"

Thank you very much for your feedback, Josh! -I added the link for the word itinerant, as well as for coal miner for more precision. -I also reworded the "ended up looking for him" part. I hope this helps! Thank you again for your feedback! MathiIde (talk) 06:30, 26 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]