Talk:Marta Ayala
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Samdia503's Peer Review
[edit]→One of the most frequent things I noticed in your article was grammatical errors and that took my focus off from the actual content. When you go into edit, you can add periods and capitalize some of the sentences in your article. Some of the structures of your sentences were awkward but that's something you can easily fix so that's okay. Same thing goes for word choice. For example, under your Honors/Awards section you said she "gotten' those awards where you can replace that word with "received". It's a minor change but it can help improve your article's tone.
→The introduction of the article didn't explain well who she is. You mentioned her art is fun, but is that opinionated or has the author claimed that?
→The actual order of your article was a bit confusing. You didn't mention basic information such as what year and city she was born in. You went straight into the artist's artistic career in the biography section. Adding some facts about her life can show in a way how her art was influenced by her personal experiences. You also stated she's an immigrant so you can write in what year she immigrated and why, if there's a reason. Also, in the biography section you wrote this one sentence "It seems like the goal of her artwork...". This isn't a neutral statement because it's sounding like you're not sure if that's the correct information and if that's really her goal. Try not to directly use your own opinions. You can reword it and back it up with some sources that talk about her focus of work. You should also mention where your artist currently lives and does her work in. Try to check out the book that's reserved for our class and see if your artist is in that so you can use it as a reference as well.
→You mentioned a lot about how she works with her community so it was just a little repetitive. Maybe you can talk about other works that are not entirely related to her community unless that's her main focus for each piece she produces.
→What art movement was she associated with?
→Some of the artworks you mentioned are missing some dates like the first two you wrote about. The descriptions of the artwork did not fully try to mention what the message the author was trying to convey and the actual influence of that piece.
→Try to find more sources for your article to cite in the text. You used the artist's website as a reference but Wikipedia only accepts secondary sources. You can link your artist's website under your External Links tab, however.
→Is there a certain artwork your artist is known for or received fame for?
→Overall, it was an interesting read and I did learn some things about this artist. After you make some changes, add more sources, and correct slight grammatical errors, I think you'll be good to go for the final draft. (:
Sabadilshad (talk) 18:35, 12 May 2019 (UTC)Sabadilshad