Talk:Maximiliane Brentano/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Kusma (talk · contribs) 10:37, 28 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: UndercoverClassicist (talk · contribs) 10:57, 4 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Not much to say here -- a lovely little article.

Thank you for the detailed and helpful comments! I haven't been getting much wikitime lately, but I have made a start. —Kusma (talk) 19:08, 7 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The short description is longer than ideal -- suggest cutting "German woman", starting with "Friend", and moving the dates to the end.
done.
Maximiliane Brentano (4 May 1756 – 19 November 1793) was a German woman: can we do better than woman: we wouldn't say "Goethe was a German man who...". "Aristocrat", if nothing else?
That's not an easy one. Technically her father didn't have the "von" of nobility by the time she was born. Happy for suggestions.
Can we say roughly where Ehrenbreitstein is? It's got an enWiki article, so we should convert the ILL into a regular link.
The enwiki link is about the fortress. The family lived in the town below it (which was essentially the capital of the Electorate of Trier at the time), next to Schloss Philippsburg, the residence of the Elector. I have changed the link so readers are not presented with the redirect to the fortress anymore.
the dark eyes of the female protagonist Lotte refer to Brentano: not quite the right idiom: are based on those of Brentano, or simply are based on hers? This occurs in the body as well.
Done.
The underscore in the SFN for Hessische Biografie is a bit unsightly.
removed.
Can you bundle up some of the multi-cites (particularly on the date of birth) to improve readability?
to do
a high ranking court official: hyphen in high-ranking.
Added.
Make sure that all German text (such as "Stadioner Hof") is in lang templates; you can set |italic=no if you wish.
he became Geheimer Rat: I think we mean a member of the Geheimer Rat or became a Geheimrat -- but in either case, I would explain what this means.
I'm getting quite a lot of MOS:SANDWICH: very slightly between the second and third images and more seriously between the other set of three. Perhaps shifting one of the latter set down into the "Legacy" section would solve the problem?
In the caption, should Haus zum Goldenen Kopf have a "the" in front of it, as it does in the body?
In general, MOS:BIO says that we shouldn't give birth and death dates to people in body text -- there's an argument to keep them for the children who died young, but almost everyone else in the last paragraph of "Marriage and children" could have them removed. The birth dates of her children can be written out in prose; if they died after her, they're probably not relevant here.
Johann Georg Jacobi and his brother, the philosopher Friedrich Heinrich Jacobi, the educational reformer Johann Bernhard Basedow, the poet and theologian Johann Kaspar Lavater and the authors Johann Jakob Wilhelm Heinse, Franz Michael Leuchsenring and Johann Heinrich Merck.: with compound lists like this, use a semicolon after each entry: so Johann Georg Jacobi and his brother, the philosopher Friedrich Heinrich Jacobi; the educational reformer Johann Bernhard Basedow; the poet and theologian Johann Kaspar Lavater; and the authors Johann Jakob Wilhelm Heinse, Franz Michael Leuchsenring and Johann Heinrich Merck.
Can we explain, or at least link, what a Sylph is? In English, don't capitalise it.
According to a letter written by Sophie von la Roche to Lavater after 1791, the dean of St. Leonhard, Frankfurt, Damian Friedrich Dumeiz, an old family friend, had already in 1771 arranged a later marriage between Maximiliane and his nephew von Strauß; however, this was cancelled for reasons of politics and to further von Strauß's career when Friedrich Karl Joseph von Erthal, who later became Elector of Mainz, heard about the planned marriage.: this is a long and winding sentence -- can we cut it up a bit and make the syntax a little clearer?
If we're going to give the title of Dichtung und Wahrheit, we should translate, as we have for most other non-English works.
where he had been in love with Charlotte Buff and a friend of her fiancé, Johann Christian Kestner.: it sounds from this like he was in love with Buff and Kestner, but isn't clear whether he loved Buff and one of Kestner's friends.
groom was Peter Anton Brentano [de], an Italian-born merchant who had moved to Frankfurt at the age of 18.: how old was he at the time? Sounds like there was a bit of an age gap?
close to the Goethe House: would it have been called that at the time?
the French correspondence with her father: not totally clear: suggest her correspondence with her father, which she conducted in French...
Brentano has been described as "literally the mother of German Romanticism": quotes should be attributed in text -- by whom?

Image review

Alt text should be added for MOS:ACCESSIBILITY.
File:Frankfurt am Main Haus Zum Goldenen Kopf.jpg: needs US PD tag.
File:Goethe ice skating by Wilhelm von Kaulbach.jpg: as above.
File:BrentanoFamilienbild.jpg: I'm not sure the US PD license is right, but in any case there's a simpler one -- it seems to have been published in the C18th, so it's surely PD-expired by a long way?
File:Die Gartenlaube (1868) b 348.jpg: checks out.
File:Stadioner Hof.jpg: Germany has (invented!) Freedom of Panorama, so all fine here.
File:Maximiliane von La Roche.jpg: Suggest formally adding the PD-US tags: the Free Art licence tag is a little moot, as it's PD everywhere in the world anyway.

Source review

To follow once the above is concluded.